goodbye ?

[SVEN]

Aww, sorry Kitty, please be kind to yourself.

 

[kittyswift]

hi all. im okay. i was intubated

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

hi all. im okay. i was intubated

You weren't alone for long enough then? I hope you're not feeling to confused or angry about the situation.

 

[kittyswift]

You weren't alone for long enough then? I hope you're not feeling to confused or angry about the situation.

i feel a bit angry. im angry and confused it didnt work. im upset i wish it worked i was so close

 

[dggtscccvfd]

i feel a bit angry. im angry and confused it didnt work. im upset i wish it worked i was so close

Who found you?

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

i just woke up in the icu. i was found and intubated

Damn I'm sorry, hope you're not in too much pain right now, it must be super difficult. Looks like life hasn't deal you the final blow just yet…

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

i feel a bit angry. im angry and confused it didnt work. im upset i wish it worked i was so close

Be grateful you didn't get institutionalised, yet. But I truly am sorry it didn't bring the conclusion you wanted.

 

[thegoldengirls]

i feel a bit angry. im angry and confused it didnt work. im upset i wish it worked i was so close

Do they have you in the room with a suicidal watch sitter? Try to take it easy, my friend.

 

[PetrichorBirth]

i just woke up in the icu. i was found and intubated

I've been thinking about this post a lot after you stopped answering. Well, welcome back to existence :D Anything interesting happen while you were away before waking up in the icu?

 

[jacobryan]

I've been thinking about this post a lot after you stopped answering. Well, welcome back to existence :D Anything interesting happen while you were away before waking up in the icu?

I didn't want to sound disrespectful, but I did wonder the same.

 

[kittyswift]

I've been thinking about this post a lot after you stopped answering. Well, welcome back to existence :D Anything interesting happen while you were away before waking up in the icu?

uhh i was blue lighted to hospital if that counts as interesting? i was found very quickly, the person i live with unexpectedly returned home at 3:00

Do they have you in the room with a suicidal watch sitter? Try to take it easy, my friend.

not yet but probably soon. i have to speak to the mental health team once im medically cleared. its 3am right now and i assume ill be cleared later this morning (hopefully. i cant wait to get out of here) and then ill just lie to the mental health team haha

Be grateful you didn't get institutionalised, yet. But I truly am sorry it didn't bring the conclusion you wanted.

yeah :( i am worried about being sectioned but i due to prior conversations with the mental health team i think i have a good idea of how to answer the questions so i can leave

Damn I'm sorry, hope you're not in too much pain right now, it must be super difficult. Looks like life hasn't deal you the final blow just yet…

im not in that much pain- it's uncomfortable but not unbearable. the nausea is worse

 

[_Broken_alice]

If no-one knows it was a CTB attempt, you may be able to avoid being sectioned by playing it off as you heard something like "It was supposed to be like alcohol but better." Sorry your attempt was interrupted after deciding to go through with it.

 

[rozeske]

Welcome back kitty when you weren't active for a while we assumed you were gone. Glad to see you are ok and didn't sustain damage, you lucked out as being found could have turned out really bad. Sorry your plans didn't work out the way you hoped. I hope you won't be in too much trouble, you could maybe tell them you were only trying to get high and got carried away.

 

[Goku Black]

I hope you're doing alright KS, having survived something like that may take a couple of days or weeks to deal with so please rest as much as possible and hopefully give us an update on how things are going.

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

the person i live with unexpectedly returned home at 3:00

Shiiiiit, that must be so annoying because presumably you were well on your way to leaving this world. Do you have enough to retry (assuming you're gonna)?

 

[PetrichorBirth]

uhh i was blue lighted to hospital if that counts as interesting? i was found very quickly, the person i live with unexpectedly returned home at 3:00

not yet but probably soon. i have to speak to the mental health team once im medically cleared. its 3am right now and i assume ill be cleared later this morning (hopefully. i cant wait to get out of here) and then ill just lie to the mental health team haha

yeah :( i am worried about being sectioned but i due to prior conversations with the mental health team i think i have a good idea of how to answer the questions so i can leave

im not in that much pain- it's uncomfortable but not unbearable. the nausea is worse

hoping for the best

 

[kittyswift]

Shiiiiit, that must be so annoying because presumably you were well on your way to leaving this world. Do you have enough to retry (assuming you're gonna)?

ill have to buy some more but its easy for me to source

I hope you're doing alright KS, having survived something like that may take a couple of days or weeks to deal with so please rest as much as possible and hopefully give us an update on how things are going.

im medically cleared now i just have to be cleared by the mental health team. they said theyre so busy that it might take a while for them to get me. until then, i have a 1-1 and if i try to leave i will be sectioned

 

[jacobryan]

ill have to buy some more but its easy for me to source

So, are you thinking about trying again?

 

[kittyswift]

If no-one knows it was a CTB attempt, you may be able to avoid being sectioned by playing it off as you heard something like "It was supposed to be like alcohol but better." Sorry your attempt was interrupted after deciding to go through with it.

oh wow thats a good idea actually. i think i will try that

So, are you thinking about trying again?

oh definitely. i think i will have to go somewhere remote first because being found keeps ruining my plans

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

@kittyswift Is it scary to think that you could/should be dead by now?

 

[kittyswift]

@kittyswift Is it scary to think that you could/should be dead by now?

it probably should be but im more disappointed that im not haha

 

[rozeske]

It's amazing how am only seeing about this method on this thread. It sounds like a very effective and peaceful one with very minimal adverse effect if found too early.

 

[Tears in Rain]

It's amazing how am only seeing about this method on this thread. It sounds like a very effective and peaceful one with very minimal adverse effect if found too early.

Not sure how reliable this method is. There doesn't seem to be any case on this site of someone successfully ctb with butanediol alone. I've seen a couple of goodbye threads from people who used butanediol with SN. There have been a few fails from people who were found, like @kittyswift.
One recent fail was from January:

Butandiole Experience

A few days ago I tried to ctb by taking Butandiole (BDO) and Lorazepam, I failed but wanted to make a post describing what I felt and my opinion of this method. The biggest benefit of this method is the accesibility, I was able to get my hands on 250ml of BDO from an online store for around...

sanctioned-suicide.net

It seems like people always vomited, even with antiemetics.

Apparently I vomited a lot despite taking 30 mg of meto before drinking the B. I personally wouldn't try this method again.

Apparently I was in a lot of pain when I was in the ICU. I saw my GP yesterday and she told me that there were signs that I had been on the floor for a long time and having seizures. Idk if this would be a consequence of the 1,4 Butanediol or the meto or both. I'm very sore from the bruising, I wasn't able to walk for a bit. But I don't have any permanent damage.

I took 60 mL of 1,4 Butanediol on a Friday night and I first woke up on Sunday morning. Even then I was going in and out of consciousness and I don't remember much of my hospital stay after I got 'rescued'.

Hey! Just for anyone interested in this method: I attempted 2,5 years ago with 75ml 1,4 Bd (female, 1,73m/5'8) and obviously failed; you can find a few of my posts in this thread. Shortly after taking it, I began feeling really dizzy and my legs got all wobbly. I laid down and after some time (I honestly can't say how much, but it can't have been long) I just got more and more tired. There was no pain or discomfort, just the dizziness. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep, but I don't remember anything from this point on. According to the doctors a family member (who wasn't supposed to be home yet ahhhh) found me on the bathroom floor, completely passed out and called emergency services. I was in a coma for 2 weeks and had multiple lung surgeries. Apparently my body tried to vomit it up, but couldn't since I was passed out, and it entered my respiratory tract and severely damaged my lungs. EMS (unfortunately) showed up on time and like I said I don't remember anything that happened after falling asleep and everything occurring after waking up in the hospital and the weeks after are quite foggy, so there is not much I can tell. A tracheostoma was cut and I received mechanical ventilation. The doctors said it was a 'miracle' that I a) survived and b) did not suffer from any brain damage. My lungs made a nearly full recovery, but as a result of either the butanediol or the meds, I completely lost my hearing in my left ear.
I just want anyone thinking about going out this way to know exactly what could happen. For someone who survived I got very lucky: except my hearing everything is still intact, but like mentioned above if you take it and don't Ctb you'll might have to live with lasting damages, perhaps even brain damage.
Okay, this has gotten way too long, sorry. Because of personal circumstances I'm back on here again and went through my past content and this thread came up, and it just felt wrong leaving it as it was. Also, to anyone out there if you need someone, feel free to message me and please stay safe out there. You mean something to me and you're not alone in this. Much love <3

It might be a bit more peaceful than SN, but not sure if it's as effective. The jury is still out on this method.

 

[rozeske]

It might be a bit more peaceful than SN, but not sure if it's as effective. The jury is still out on this method.

OK, I see now...thank you for this @Tears in Rain I was baffled why something that seems more peaceful than SN wasn't discussed more. Now I know.

 

[kittyswift]

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

 

[rozeske]

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

Don't let yourself stress too much about it. It's perfectly normal to have these feelings after an attempt. They have proven to be both temporary and permanent ticket to recovery for some. Listen to your gut on what you want and follow that. If you believe you will never benefit from that place you can lie your way out of it and work on your desired aim from the outside.

 

[Relic]

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

But this is what they do. They hide problems and problematic people from the public. The taxes that are collected to fix the problems are important to them, so locking up and narcotizing people until they are unable to complain is a traditional way to fix these kinds of problems. There are doctors that try to find chemicals that support people instead of suppressing them, but they could be hard to find, depending on where you are.

 

[Macc_Lad_71]

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

I really hope you think long and hard about it........there is beauty out there , if you're prepared to look x

 

[Tears in Rain]

OK, I see now...thank you for this @Tears in Rain I was baffled why something that seems more peaceful than SN wasn't discussed more. Now I know.

Yeah, not sure about this method. If it's relatively peaceful and reliable, how come it's not in the PPH? Or more commonly tried here?

The only goodbye threads I found on here with butanediol use, where it seemed to be successful (the poster never posted again after), were where it was done with another method:
Butanediol with SN and partial hanging:

It’s almost time (goodbye thread)

Just got to my hotel room tonight I’m going to ctb thanks to everyone on here over the past few months but it’s time I do what I need to do method is partial hanging mixed with 250ml of 1.4b and 15-20grams of sn all washed down with a load of booze

sanctioned-suicide.net

Butanediol with an opioid ( a morphine potency opioid called 2-MAP237) and partial hanging:

Certain Talk is Banned Now, but I Just Wanted to Say Goodbye

Was going to detail my [redacted] for harm reduction's sake and to add to history. However, I just found out that is no longer allowed. How sad to see. This was a noble site dedicated to helping those in dire need of guidance they so desperately needed in a safe community driven way. Well...

sanctioned-suicide.net

While it may work when taken on its own, an antiemetic seems a must.

Some on the butanediol megathread felt it might better to use it with other methods, like amitriptyline, or chloroquine.

1.4-butanediol, which is a GHB precursor, is promoted as an ergogenic agent or for treating depression or insomnia, and has been in use for some time for these purposes. However 1,4-butanediol is also reported to be both toxic and habit-forming, although the number of confirmed cases of 1,4-BD intoxication is relatively low compared to GHB. The reasons for this according to WHO is attributable to the longer period of GHB availability, inaccurate or unknown identity of the substance ingested by intoxicated persons, similarity of symptoms, and more importantly, metabolic conversion of 1,4-BD to GHB.
WHO found that the epidemiology of the use and abuse of 1,4-BD is intrinsically linked to that of GHB. It identified this as a major issue in the reporting of abuse factors of 1.4 Butanediol, as 1.4 Butanediol is rapidly metabolized to and reported forensically as GHB. ..

However, the effect of 1,4-BD is different from individual to individual. Some people get nasty side effects already after an intake of 2 ml. Doses exceeding 6 ml induce heavy poisoning symptoms, leading to coma or death

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

If you feel you definitely want to try this method again, you should definitely use an antiemetic next time. And maybe consider using it with something else.

But good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[rozeske]

Yeah, not sure about this method. If it's relatively peaceful and reliable, how come it's not in the PPH? Or more commonly tried here?

You definitely have a point on the absence of it In the PPH. Reliability could be what's making it not so popular. Like you said pairing it with other methods might be the key to increase it's "helpfulness".