goodbye ?

[kittyswift]

possible goodbye post ? im using 1.4 BDO. i added 30ml to some diet coke. im finding the taste really off putting. im dry heaving after each sip. its a lot worse than my test dose (i used 10ml last time) if im not active after a few days please feel free to put a line through my name. this is what i want but its a lot harder than i thought it would be. all i have to do is finish this glass

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best. May you find peace. Safe travels and good luck!

 

[Dliena]

Peace eternal and forever OP, good of luck to you.

 

[iloverachel]

Good bye my friend and may you find pece
You will be missed

 

[kittyswift]

thank you everyone i will try to keep updating
im so stressed and i have only taken a few sips. my heart rate is in the 130s and i took a beta blocker before hand. im scared

 

[rozeske]

Wish you all the best. Am going to miss seeing you around. Hope this ends peaceful and smooth for you. Hope you find your ethernal peace

 

[kittyswift]

im almost half way through. i feel so pathetic all i have to do is drink but its taking me minutes in-between each sip
im starting to fee nauseous. i haven't had that much yet so i think its just me getting myself worked up and maybe the taste. i don't have an antiemetic so im going to be really pissed if i end up vomiting

 

[rozeske]

im almost half way through. i feel so pathetic all i have to do is drink but its taking me minutes in-between each sip
im starting to fee nauseous. i haven't had that much yet so i think its just me getting myself worked up and maybe the taste. i don't have an antiemetic so im going to be really pissed if i end up vomiting

Am so sorry you are finding it hard, sending all the positive energy your way, am staying here with you

 

[kittyswift]

Am so sorry you are finding it hard, sending all the positive energy your way, am staying here with you

thank you so much its comforting to know im not alone

 

[rozeske]

thank you so much its comforting to know im not alone

You have any thing to distract yourself with and not think about it?

 

[kittyswift]

You have any thing to distract yourself with and not think about it?

im listening to some of my favourite songs right now. its not really helping so i think i might try and watch some tv

 

[davidtorez]

I hope you get the peace and rest that you deserve

 

[rozeske]

im listening to some of my favourite songs right now. its not really helping so i think i might try and watch some tv

Anything to take your mind off of it. The more distracted you can be the better

 

[PetrichorBirth]

possible goodbye post ? im using 1.4 BDO. i added 30ml to some diet coke. im finding the taste really off putting. im dry heaving after each sip. its a lot worse than my test dose (i used 10ml last time) if im not active after a few days please feel free to put a line through my name. this is what i want but its a lot harder than i thought it would be. all i have to do is finish this glass

Wishing you all the best. Maybe consider some Animal crossing music, for calmness. Helps me atleast. How are you right now?

 

[rozeske]

I don't know much about this method @kittyswift does it take too long? Are you in pain?

 

[kittyswift]

Wishing you all the best. Maybe consider some Animal crossing music, for calmness. Helps me atleast. How are you right now?

im really stressed. i am certain this is what i want but i think SI is getting in the way. all i have to do is drink but it feels like the hardest thing i have ever had to do

I don't know much about this method, does it take too long? Are you in pain?

it can take a few hours. its a CNS depressant and doesn't cause any pain


ive been on this thread for almost half an hour and im still just over half way through the drink. is this as pathetic as it feels?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How r u doing now? We're here for you! You're not alone

 

[rozeske]

its a CNS depressant and doesn't cause any pain

Am glad to hear you are atleast not in too much pain. No one deserves to go out in pain.

 

[kittyswift]

im not in any pain or discomfort im just stressed. i wish i took the time to source some benzos.. i just need to power through i think. thank you for all the replies and for staying with me. it means more than you know

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[rozeske]

im just stressed

Totally understandable! It's not an easy thing to do. It could help to try and remember why you are doing this. Hope it gets you your peace

 

[PetrichorBirth]

im not in any pain or discomfort im just stressed. i wish i took the time to source some benzos.. i just need to power through i think. thank you for all the replies and for staying with me. it means more than you know

We'll stay with you

possible goodbye post ? im using 1.4 BDO. i added 30ml to some diet coke. im finding the taste really off putting. im dry heaving after each sip. its a lot worse than my test dose (i used 10ml last time) if im not active after a few days please feel free to put a line through my name. this is what i want but its a lot harder than i thought it would be. all i have to do is finish this glass

What happened during your test dose?

 

[kittyswift]

this feels so surreal. im stressed but all this support is making me feel sad but in a good way! i wish i felt this cared for earlier in my life. i love this community. im so grateful

We'll stay with you

What happened during your test dose?

during my teat dose i was in and out of consciousness, went into respiratory depression and had a seizure. my lips and fingers were blue. i wasn't in any pain it just felt like i was drunk and drugged up. i dont remember much of it
half way through. im trying now to take two sips at a time. the taste is so bad. im trying to hurry up but also take my time so i dont panic and vomit
time is going by so quickly. im beginning to feel the effects

 

[rozeske]

ive been on this thread for almost half an hour and im still just over half way through the drink. is this as pathetic as it feels?

NO! It's definitely not pathetic! Be easy on yourself. Also know that it's ok if you want to call for help. We are all here for you whatever you decide kind soul

during my teat dose i was in and out of consciousness, went into respiratory depression and had a seizure. my lips and fingers were blue. i wasn't in any pain it just felt like i was drunk and drugged up. i dont remember much of it

The symptoms of this method seem very promising

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

this feels so surreal. im stressed but all this support is making me feel sad but in a good way! i wish i felt this cared for earlier in my life. i love this community. im so grateful

during my teat dose i was in and out of consciousness, went into respiratory depression and had a seizure. my lips and fingers were blue. i wasn't in any pain it just felt like i was drunk and drugged up. i dont remember much of it
half way through. im trying now to take two sips at a time. the taste is so bad. im trying to hurry up but also take my time so i dont panic and vomit

So the phoenix is finally hoping to lay to rest. Definitely very brave of tragic what you're doing. All I can say is that I hope there are no complications and it's a peaceful end. Sorry that you felt you had to leave like this.

 

[kittyswift]

NO! It's definitely not pathetic! Be easy on yourself. Also know that it's ok if you want to call for help. We are all here for you whatever you decide kind soul

thank you so much for the kind words. i don't think i have ever felt this cared for before.

 

[SVEN]

im really stressed. i am certain this is what i want but i think SI is getting in the way. all i have to do is drink but it feels like the hardest thing i have ever had to do

it can take a few hours. its a CNS depressant and doesn't cause any pain


ive been on this thread for almost half an hour and im still just over half way through the drink. is this as pathetic as it feels?

Absolutely not pathetic at all, Kitty. Every good wish unmet friend.

 

[kittyswift]

So the phoenix is finally hoping to lay to rest. Definitely very brave of tragic what you're doing. All I can say is that I hope there are no complications and it's a peaceful end. Sorry that you felt you had to leave like this.

laying to rest at last!! thank you for the kind words

 

[PetrichorBirth]

this feels so surreal. im stressed but all this support is making me feel sad but in a good way! i wish i felt this cared for earlier in my life. i love this community. im so grateful

during my teat dose i was in and out of consciousness, went into respiratory depression and had a seizure. my lips and fingers were blue. i wasn't in any pain it just felt like i was drunk and drugged up. i dont remember much of it
half way through. im trying now to take two sips at a time. the taste is so bad. im trying to hurry up but also take my time so i dont panic and vomit
time is going by so quickly. im beginning to feel the effects

You decided to go down this path, i hope it will be a good one for you. Eternity will care for you, and who knows, maybe people do meet again in some ways.

 

[kittyswift]

i feel really drunk and nauseous. but i am not in any pain. im trying really hard not to throw up. survival instinct is a bitch