Thank you so much for the support everyone, and im so sorry for making everyone worry. I just woke up, i slept immediatly when i got home.
When i finished making the sn i was panicking so much, my heart was pounding loudly, i couldnt breath, i couldnt stand up even, and i was freezing since the weather suddenly became cold, I could also barely read my scale anymore. i just couldnt do it, i never felt that misserable before. I called my bf and when he arrived i collapsed in tears. I confessed what i did and fortunatly he forgave me. Hes so glad i didnt do it but he wants to talk this weekend about our future. Hopefully it isnt gonna be a bad thing...
Im gonna seek help again, i might aswell try to recover if i cant ctb. First goal is i NEED to get out of the house. My mom is the biggest blockade atm.
Thank you once again everyone <3