passivethought121

passivethought121

Student
Jun 11, 2023
315
Failure. Several other reasons, but if I found out that my next attempt would guarantee success no matter what, I'd attempt today.
 
chicken-nugget

chicken-nugget

depresso espresso
Sep 30, 2021
24
I used to have a reason.. I used my dog as the reason I continued everything. Now that I lost him idk what to do. I try to talk about how I'm really feeling and it stresses people out and they tell me to stop talking that way... ok but it's how I feel?

Dog. He is the only living being that could make me feel at peace now.
 
S

somerandomguy123

Member
Oct 28, 2023
12
I relate to the morning bit so much…

Can I ask what made you wanna ctb, given the fact that you had great parents?

For me they're the cause of me being here, so I really am curious 🤗

Take care
I'm not sure. I think just losing many of my friends, just I have a constant hopeless loneliness that doesn't go away no matter what
 
piddincir

piddincir

Student
Nov 6, 2023
182
Fear and survival instinct would be the things holding me back, I have nothing to live for since my wife chose to end her life a month ago. I know if she had come home and found my dead body she would have killed herself instantly and I certainly wanted to.

When I found her I called my mum as I didn't really know what to do, I was in shock and they contacted the paramedics who arrived quickly. I remember just snuggling into her until they had to pull me off. I really wanted to grab my super sharp chef knife and slit my throat but I couldn't do.

I've procured the methods for a peaceful death but I still can't bring myself to do it yet, I know eventually the pain I am in constantly will get so bad that the courage will come. right now I am living for small things like getting her phone/laptop back from the police to try and piece things together or the toxicology report back. she ended it with a plastic bag over her head and I know she had ordered a bottle of vodka that morning but I can't find any evidence she had taken any drugs so I am living to find answers - it's a really shit method from what I've read unless you knock yourself out with drugs and booze and had a very low percentage of success without so right now I want to know that at least.

Though I don't know how long I've got left to wait.

I've got amazing friends and family but no of that is enough of a reason to live for me, I know how much losing someone this way hurts and I know I will be doing the same but I don't care
 
G

gbi2

Specialist
Jul 10, 2023
311
Nothing is really stopping me. Some methods seem to have a chance for failure I don't like so I am trying night night mostly. I can do it with my hands so if I can just get that same feeling without just lying there with swelling feeling that's it. I'll let myself go.

I'm close to just driving a few hundred miles to beachy head and just jumping but even with that I fear I'll break down as my car isn't very well, and then no money to fix it, or some do-gooder will stop me from jumping somehow.
 
Vesiira

Vesiira

Dreaming Of Being Buried
Nov 7, 2023
151
Going before my wonderful Grandmother that is 96 years old. I know she won't be alive for much longer. I'm not quite sure I can live without her. She's always been there for me, when ever my parents couldn't be. I don't know what I'll do when she's gone. How I will survive. However, I'm so tired now and don't know how much longer I can hurt for. I don't want her to be alive for the hurt, so maybe I'll try to hold on. I don't know.
 
dejadoom

dejadoom

Member
Oct 30, 2023
15
being chronically suicidal there have been several times throughout life after failed attempts where i think "wow i am so happy i'm here to experience this right now" and i know i won't be thinking of that when i pass but life will move on after me and i'll be a little sad to know i'll never experience another moment like that or anything at all.
 
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Reactions: Fimbulvetr
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,215
Survival instinct, the lack of a peaceful method and that I'm always drained out of energy to do anything
 
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Fimbulvetr

Fimbulvetr

How do I look now? Am I unsightly? Of course I am.
Nov 7, 2023
83
Honestly, plenty of stuff, but the primary is my boyfriend and my cat. I don't want them to be hurt when I'm gone.
 
BlockHammer

BlockHammer

Confused loser
Oct 25, 2023
244
This's weird thing to said but the reason was because i haven't make a proper assesment to my life. Well it's because i never get a stable job, i tried searching everywhere but the company keeps rejecting me. Another reason would be the methode itself, im still dont know what methode im gonna used and im affraid the methode will just gonna left permanent injuries instead of killing me. So that's my reason, but i still considering suicide once i had a stable job for 5 or 6 years, then i can make my assesment
 
W

whateverr

Member
Oct 19, 2021
75
Being somewhat monitored. I'm ready to do it this time because everything has become clear. My body no longer works and mind is shot. I just need to get an effective method.
Also failure. I always assumed that was part of it for everyone.
Unrequitted love, as well. But that was always expected. Even when I get love, it's never what I want.
 
Last edited:
NocturnILL

NocturnILL

She will become the wind…
Sep 11, 2023
434
My amazing Prince, I'd suffer lifetimes so he doesn't feel that pain. If only I can remain strong enough so he doesn't have to.
 
NewtBoy

NewtBoy

Member
Nov 7, 2023
13
A dearly loving partner that I can't leave behind, as well as fear of horribly failing.
 
B

buoy

Kill off the old me before I decide to kill myself
Nov 8, 2023
98
The potential for things to be different. I guess hope.
I've been so fortunate, some assholes would say blessed, and if I were to overcome all of the unhealthy mechanisms I've built over the years, I could possibly make a difference or at least become successful.

Even if all that is true and if I accomplished all I want; for humans, is it ever enough.

Anyway, here we are.
"We'll see" is where I'm at.
 
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Reactions: BornHated
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
The fact that I will suffer in another lifetime if I CTB now
Will it still be *you* though? Like the you of now?
 
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h78272

h78272

Member
Oct 3, 2023
19
im so very afraid of God
 
Last edited:
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Yes just different body but similar personality, beliefs and general "looks"
Yeah but like it won't be my current consciousness/the current me so why should I care? I don't think the me in my next life would even remember the past life of this life.
 
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BornHated

BornHated

God may judge, but his sins outnumber your own.
Nov 19, 2022
96
SN sources drying up. extremely upset with myself for not having grabbed something when I saw the first rounds of it before it was removed.
I'm ready to let go of life soon regardless, so whatever. I'll figure something out.
 
J

jackrussell

Member
Oct 30, 2023
28
the fear of failing the ctb attempt and what comes after this life.
 

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