Discussion What stops you from ending yourself right now?

[narcluciddreams]

Unfinished businesses. It's just a matter of time.

 

[cattofiend]

There's two main things stopping me right now. My family, and my pets. If it wasn't for them I would be gone already but when I look into my cats faces it holds me back every time.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

I wanted to ask this guy I liked out, if he declines it would be shitty for me to ctb directly after. If he accepts, I can't ctb because that would also be shitty

 

[freedomcalls]

The only reason I don't CTB right now is that I don't have access to SN.
I'm looking for it though and when I figure out how to buy it, I will do

I also have dependent children and it will be hard to leave them I know it will hurt them deeply, but I'm scared of how my depression is going to affect them if I don't

 

[AbacusRex]

Don't want to hurt my family. My mom especially. Seems inevitable though.

 

[wanttodie]

fear of failure,

 

[Meaninglessness]

What stops me from ending myself right now - because I cannot afford physician-assisted suicide.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Friends, my cat, fear of failure, a vague glimmer of hope, my new meds possibly working. I'm just trying to take it a day at a time, though I admit that it's easier to tolerate existence knowing that there's a way to end it if things get too bad.

 

[Regen]

My children. My mother, my dog. And survival instinct. And fear about the prozess of dying.

 

[niiina]

SI

 

[ncmxm]

Rn my parents and my boyfriend

 

[IntelligentLeg]

I have to plan my whole day around it. I'm horrible at planning. Trying to choose the perfect day. I'm very indecisive when it comes to choosing the day. Possibly this weekend..

I'm still here. I haven't been on in over a week. I have a pretty good excuse why. Can't figure out a good day...night to do it. I have the SN sitting in my closet.

 

[aladdin]

Survival instinct

 

[Lonlemoon]

My boyfriend, my mother (even though she doesn't help my anxiety and depression), and my best friend.

 

[nifii]

My parents, i don't want to give them a hard time. My mom probably wouldn't be able to deal with it at all.

I also kinda release that i can accept and deal with the issues i have in my life. So that also makes it harder to ctb. I keep failing to actually do something about it tho lmao. I actually really want this shit to be over.

 

[Overcoming man]

It might get better tomorrow.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

My spouse and my pet. They are the loves of my life.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

My cat

 

[Unending]

The thought of my parent's reactions haunts me heavily for something that hasn't happened in reality. Otherwise, I suppose my creative projects are the most subjectively meaningful things that are personal to me but it is not uncommon for me to become catatonic and not work on anything for long periods of time.

 

[stermc]

mainly my family, especially my mom and sister. it makes me sick just to think about saying goodbye to them. also the fear of failure and getting some kind of brain damage idk. and the fact that i am not sure about what happens after death

 

[jamie_]

cowardice mostly, lack of energy too

 

[DeathBecomesMe_2021]

Somebody depends on me for their livelihood, so I can't leave. Not yet

 

[Moonomyth]

There's still people I need to hurt.

 

[DaatiSimi]

The lack of "N". If I had it right now I would fly back to my country tomorrow to finish business and ctb. bezH.

 

[LonelyEmerald]

I'm young and still have hope. My mother never really talks or spends time with me, but she does love me. I love my dog. Nature, caffeine, working out, reading good fiction, and writing.

Super dumb, but a show I'm watching ends later this week and I want to be around to see the finale.

Seems like a reasonable reason to me. What show?

In a way, yes. My cycles aren't short but they're spread apart. It's always something along the lines of this:

Get lonely > Get Sad > Get Help > Get Friends > Lose Friends > Get lonely.

What caused the latest cycle to end? I moved to college and found my people. My people decided to stop being friends with me and then a person I was talking to decided the same thing as well. I hold no anger towards any of them at all. If they came back today, I would accept them as if nothing happened. It's just that I'm tired of myself feeling this way and being chained to this.

Agreed. I hate being unlikeable and it feels like I'm forever alone besides my dog and my mom.

 

[Ineedtodie]

The slight possibility that perhaps I can cure my speech impediment and nd eventually open a small coffeshop. These two keeping me alive so far. I chose to stay mildly functional because it turns out hanging myself is not as evident as I expected. It turns out my cowerdness is following me even in the face of merciful death.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I need to stay around for my parents. If I CTB it would wreck them, and they may need someone to care for them later on. I'm all they have.

 

[StolenLife]

Lack of SN and presence of my parents.

 

[TheCyberian]

I started transitioning 6 months ago, and I want to see how it pans out before I go.

 

[thejumper]

Not a specific reason, honestly. Life is still full of pain, but it's not completely absent of joy, either. Plus, after a lot of rumination and one suicide attempt, I concluded that I don't want to die, yet. I will keep on living and see where it takes me in the end. I feel like I'm too young and ignorant to decide if I want to CTB.

I still wake up everyday feeling as before, but I don't think about suicide as often anymore. Suicidal ideations have rather become a coping mechanism for me. As it's put in the song "Mad World":

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

It doesn't necessarily mean I want to die; it's just how I cope with life for the time being.

Such is life