MAC10
Member
- Dec 14, 2018
- 22
Lethargy, fatigue, greyness, aggressive brain fog.
-
Hey Guest,
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AnnihilatedAnna
A Joke
- Apr 17, 2018
- 1,344
That's the fucking point, I don't know anymore, so much is going on that now I'm just like "well fuck, okay". I'm totally overwhelmed but yet still stand. I don't know why because I feel the need to vanish and or break in half. I'm fucking useless, Can't even write a stupid report of two pages.
Nihil
Student
- Mar 4, 2019
- 111
I...actually got a job at the top of a skyscraper that starts this Monday. I'm surprised, in shock, and feel a giant amount of relief. Well, more than anything, I just feel incredibly lucky. Also really tired. Past ten months have been a long ten years.Yet I still struggle with depression and some ideation here and there. Looking out the window at the long drop down is...hypnotizing.Going back and forth between both sides of the economic spectrum is a giant mindfuck.
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 476
It hurts...hurts...hurts.
Make it stop. My heart is burning.
Make it go it go awqy. Can't stand it anymore.
Have to die. Please. Won't cry anymore.
Need to get into the past. Have to corrext what happend. Help!!!
Escaper Boy
累坏了...
- Apr 11, 2019
- 245
I wish I can erase all of my doubts, anxiety, and fear. I can sense my time is approaching. But, I still don't feel ready. Why does everything have to end up like this?
I'm so overwhelmed. I need an escape, distraction, anything to numb my emotion once more. I crave an escape.
EddieAllenPoe
Specialist
- Mar 19, 2019
- 304
Absolutely terrified of the future. The unknown. Old age. Homelessness. Disease. Uncertainty. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
Ruffian
Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
- Jan 16, 2019
- 696
Awwww. You sound so much like me when I was a bit younger. I don't have that intense self-hatred like that as much anymore, I'm more depressed by life events than I am mad at myself. I would tell you to be kind to yourself, but it used to infuriate me when people would flip that shit at me. Because I would be like, HOW? How the FUCK do I that, have you been listening to me, ASSHOLE? The only good thing was that for a good couple of minutes there was someone on the planet I hated more than myself.
seekingoblivion
Arcanist
- Dec 11, 2018
- 454
Lol I find it difficult to actually hate people. Don't know why really. Have always been the forgiving type (I hate myself for it too somehow).
Yeah I'm always wondering how the hell I can be kind to myself when myself is quite a big contributor to my misery
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 476
It's sitting on my chest again. A ghost...no a demon wants I'm suffering. More pressure on my chest. More pressure on my heart. Stop functioning please. Just stop for peace.Last edited:
Redt2go
flower child
- Jan 5, 2019
- 1,643
Jc40
Specialist
- Mar 3, 2019
- 354
Feel alone. I'm stressing people out so I keeping myself away from everyone. I feel so very tired and unable to cry but it's there. Am stressed. June will be a difficult month. This month is long and hard.
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Hell Hell and more Hell on Earth. Disgusting, want to rip my face off. So so uncomfortable. Trapped.
Mart
eh
- Apr 27, 2019
- 95
Like I wanna tear my hair out, I don't know why I feel like this just one thought pops into my head and it bugs the shit out of me I don't know how to get rid of it. I want a button that I can push that just makes me pass out. I don't want to be awake right now I wish I could set a timer and just not wake up for that entire time but I know I'm going to eventually fall asleep sometime this morning and wake up about once ever hour and struggle getting back to sleep and then eventually wake up for good just feeling as exhausted as I was before. I'm frustrated at my family for no reason other than I just don't want to be around them but they've done nothing wrong. I have a court date that I need to be here for for possession and then I'm going to get the fuck out of here the first chance I have and fly away somewhere. My problems aren't going to stop when I do but at least I won't be here.
throwaway777
一人、部屋で、独り。
- Oct 3, 2018
- 641
Halo13
Wizard
- May 9, 2019
- 671
Robbyna
Student
- Mar 6, 2019
- 182
Tired. Just so tired. And empty, and filled with pain at the same time. Shame, and guilt, and self-hatred for planning it.
ShadowOfTheDay
Hungry Ghost
- Feb 14, 2019
- 331
Anger. Raw, unbridled anger at the fact that it has come to this. Anger towards those who don't even attempt to understand me; anger towards myself for being so cowardly, and anger towards God, if he even exists.
As Voltaire once said, "God's only excuse is that He doesn't exist."Hurt...
Haunted
Anguish
Despair
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt
Despair
Hurt
Apostle
Student
- Apr 17, 2019
- 129
I feel the way I imagine my previous dog felt in his final days.
Tired, alone, weak, helpless, old, and an overall sensation of being dead while still breathing.
All he could do toward the end of his life was sit around and sleep, waiting to die, until he was put down. And I see myself in those memories of him, more and more.
Donewitheverything
Ultimate Despair
- Apr 8, 2019
- 78
I'm feeling absolutely worthless and ugly, per usual. Kind of trying to drink my problems away, but it only seems to be barely working. Guess I just have to drink more... I miss being on Xanax so fucking much I hate suffering like this.Mixed emotions. Guilty about what I have to do, guilty about how it will make my friends and family feel. Happy I'll finally be out of this place. Angry it had to be me. Excited I'll no longer be suffering soon. Sad & mourning for the person I could have been.
wiIIow
Arcanist
- Sep 22, 2018
- 461
I can't fucking take it anymore every aspect of being alive is pure unadulterated torture and my body feels like a constant open wound. sick of being in fucking pain and tired of my shitty brain. I'm very close to a serious break the tension is just too high to hold out much longer
of course I say this just to eventually have my shitty break, be psychotic for a while, come back down, sink back into the miserable grind. rinse and repeat. constant cycle of shitI feel... Ready.
Ready to encourage myself, to spiral, to relapse and to attempt (and hopefully succeed) to take my life. Again.
I've made so much progress in the last month but I can feel it all taking a turn and I know I shouldn't let myself fall back into my old patterns but at the same time, the idea is just too comforting to resist? It's all I know, who am I to say no?
silentsinger
Experienced
- Mar 1, 2019
- 261
Thoroughly ashamed. Desperate for companionship even though I don't deserve it. My body hurts. I'm scared and I am so horrible it is unreal.
Misanthrope
Mage
- Oct 23, 2018
- 557
Fadinglife
Student
- Apr 16, 2019
- 109
I miss my only friend who passed away. I got to know about it through his obituary. I hope to know the cause. Tomorrow is his funeral but i live in a different country. It's ironic he adviced me not to visit this site and after getting the news i havn't visited it for a while, somehow i am back again here. It gives me comfort and peace. Most often i feel emptyness. I am zoned out kind of state of mind.
