Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
so exhausted. I feel like nothing can help me, i don't have hopeness on the future and the life. Because i have everything, like everybody says, i have health, family, friends, but i'm completely not able to feel happy and alive. And the same time i'm afraid to take my life. I'm so boring and ingenius.

so exhausted. I feel like nothing can help me, i don't have hopeness on the future and the life. Because i have everything, like everybody says, i have health, family, friends, but i'm completely not able to feel happy and alive. And the same time i'm afraid to take my life. I'm so boring and ingenius.
You're not boring or ingenius, just exhausted? I think that counts as a health problem so give yourself some rest to recover
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
Head spinning with so much to juggle.
 
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Pentobartbital

Pentobartbital

Crumbling
Feb 25, 2019
183
Went outside again today.

The woods behind my house are so discreet and wonderful. My only calm for today descended from those few moments staring long past into the sea of trees and overgrowth.

I'm probably going to hole up there when the time comes.
 
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M

MistakesHappen

Escapologist
Aug 29, 2018
615
I don't fuckn know.
Lost all hope, angry af, unsettled.
I just want to join the void.
 
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DeadlyLiving

DeadlyLiving

I can't fix it, is this where I give in?
Jan 1, 2019
152
I've started to cling to my fantasy worlds way too hard again. I am afraid to lose them and that little bit of joy that they bring to me, but I'm losing the sense of reality more and more. I don't think I mind that though.
 
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limelight

limelight

I'm probably high while writing this crap.
Mar 15, 2019
75
The only thing I can think about is death. Never been this suicidal before. I kind of want to be remembered as the girl who did not want to stay in this cruel world any more. Rather that than a woman who grew old and alone with her depression...
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
calmer, worried for others here, i'm being selfish.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I feel defeated and lonely... Both alone as in having noone to spend time with and and also alone in my experience...
 
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DrownedOctopus

DrownedOctopus

Experienced
Mar 2, 2019
246
Desperate. I feel desperate and hollow and scared and angry and frustrated and overwhelmed and panicked.
I feel like a waste of existence and space and air. I feel like a monster of a mother.
I feel like a failure of a wife, like I'm hurting my husband and am no good for him. I feel guilty that he loves me, I've done nothing to deserve it. We may both be suicidal, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one to ctb and he's going to have to raise our daughter alone. I know that scares him. I feel ashamed I can't give him peace of mind, I know he worries one day he'll wake up to find that I didn't, and I'm so frustrated with myself that I can't give this one thing to him.
I'm not okay, I've never wanted to die more. I'm falling apart...
 
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R

r0_

Member
Apr 3, 2019
19
its barely morning and i cant wait for this day to be over. running is the only thing that makes me happy so i will do some of that. miss my lovely and horrible ex. drinking time later.
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
brain surgery someone? with the green and red lasers pls


its barely morning and i cant wait for this day to be over. running is the only thing that makes me happy so i will do some of that. miss my lovely and horrible ex. drinking time later.

my words :(

but who is the most horrible one? me and you? me and your ex? you and my ex? my ex and your ex? or all of us?

so numb from benzos but still no sleep why
more and more
give me
fucking
sleep
;-;:pfff:

10195
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
Constipated
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Loneliness. I really fucking miss my wife, and my birthday is in a few days, I'm expecting a text from her that I know I won't get.
AhG, you describe your feelings very well. Thank you for posting. Are you away from your wife?
 
K

KN95

Member
Apr 13, 2019
63
Hopeless.
Almost convinced I'm already dead and this world is my own personal hell. Feels great!
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Desperate. I feel desperate and hollow and scared and angry and frustrated and overwhelmed and panicked.
I feel like a waste of existence and space and air. I feel like a monster of a mother.
I feel like a failure of a wife, like I'm hurting my husband and am no good for him. I feel guilty that he loves me, I've done nothing to deserve it. We may both be suicidal, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one to ctb and he's going to have to raise our daughter alone. I know that scares him. I feel ashamed I can't give him peace of mind, I know he worries one day he'll wake up to find that I didn't, and I'm so frustrated with myself that I can't give this one thing to him.
I'm not okay, I've never wanted to die more. I'm falling apart...
DrownedOctopus, I'm worried for you. You are certainly not a monster or a failure. I wish I could take away your pain. Your husband just wants what is best for you, and you shouldn't lambaste yourself because you are not feeling well at the moment. Being a parent is SO difficult. I admire so much the family you have built for yourself. Surely, there are tough times like these, but you have the love of your husband and your daughter. You are loved and wanted and needed. You sound like you might be in need of some sleep. I'm sorry if that's not the issue at all, but it's easy to feel desperate when you're tired. Sending you a lot of love. You are a very good wife and mother and forum member. xoxo
I feel defeated and lonely... Both alone as in having noone to spend time with and and also alone in my experience...
defeated and lonely is EXACTLY the way I feel, too.
 
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Seaghost

Seaghost

Specialist
Apr 14, 2019
301
Feeling disunited. Why I'm still here?!
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I've started to cling to my fantasy worlds way too hard again. I am afraid to lose them and that little bit of joy that they bring to me, but I'm losing the sense of reality more and more. I don't think I mind that though.
This sounds like me...with food, porn, and the sporadic attention of someone else's boyfriend.
 
Psychotic King

Psychotic King

Failure
Apr 18, 2019
31
Just woke up, it's 3AM. I feel anxiety coming up. Physically I feel tired and not so good
 
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Random

Random

Member
Apr 30, 2018
40
Like I've been tricked by a very elaborate practical joke
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
too high not high enough
 
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RodgerThat

RodgerThat

It's over and out.
Apr 23, 2019
84
Angry and tired. Frustrated that no matter how hard I try, I will never achieve anything. Bitter because of the injustice so many people face because of immutable factors. Vengeful because of the hatred dealt to those who have done nothing to negatively affect anyone, and I want to correct it. Disgusted at the people who place themselves above others. Just fucking angry but so empty at the same time; taking action only makes me feel like a mime.
 
KadathianStr1d3r

KadathianStr1d3r

Shattered Mannequin
Nov 21, 2018
278
Bloodlust, i desire combat and the sense of fulfiment by way of biding labor tpwards the reward of great strength. I yearn to the idea of destroyingthe diseased old self and embracing the newer savage side I've always had subconciously dreamt of thag will never bend to the slaving world we live i today. I yearn to be wild again and to be wild i. The field of battle. I am a savage.

Egdy I know, its just how i feel yah know
 
Seaghost

Seaghost

Specialist
Apr 14, 2019
301
Tired and sad. Sometimes there's hope but just a few minutes.
Wish to see chalice well one last time...
 
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FaceOfSilence

FaceOfSilence

Shhhh...
Feb 24, 2019
40
Looking for a job but i have no formal education and only fake experience (my brother used to run a bunch of sites and he came up with a bunch of jobs i could be doing there, having any experience at all helps with offers) so my options are fucking dead ends that barely pay and employer is actively trying to scam you because well such jobs have millions of seekers and none of them are valuable at all. Also i finally have a thing i want to try in real life so i'm much less suicidal than usually for once, it really fluctuates between the times im looking for work (it's all hellscape) and the thing i'm interested in trying
 
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TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
Scared, sad, alone, paranoid, weak, betrayed, angry amd hurt
 
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Fin

Fin

Normality is a crowd-sourced fantasy.
Apr 20, 2019
93
Almost too bored and apathetic to type this.
 
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Seaghost

Seaghost

Specialist
Apr 14, 2019
301
Still laying in bed. It needs so much power to get up.
I have a feeling someones pressing my throat.
My heart should stop beatin'. Its suffering. There are needles sticking in it...in me. Maybe its acid too.
Everything scoops out my soul.
 
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seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Arcanist
Dec 11, 2018
454
I feel like a useless pathetic piece of shit. A fucked up stupid fucking shithead of a worthless excuse for a man. Ridiculously stupid and weak and pathetic and retarded just absolute shit and worthless and dull and fucking useless. I hate myself I hate myself I hate my fucking stupid self
 
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