Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Fish_astronaut]

Fed up. Tired of the toxicity of people and life in general. I'm going through the day like a robot, and while I think it's painfully obvious that I'm not well, everyone IRL is too up their own ass about shit to notice anyone around them. If they did, maybe they wouldn't put their problems on me as much. I'm tired of feeling like I'm everyone's mom, even though I don't even have children

 

[Halo13]

I miss my only friend who passed away. I got to know about it through his obituary. I hope to know the cause. Tomorrow is his funeral but i live in a different country. It's ironic he adviced me not to visit this site and after getting the news i havn't visited it for a while, somehow i am back again here. It gives me comfort and peace. Most often i feel emptyness. I am zoned out kind of state of mind.

I'm sorry for your loss. We're here if you'd like to talk.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Scared!

 

[Lush_nova]

I'm drunk, I want a blade, I want To rip my arms to shreds, I want to cry I want to run,

 

[Jc40]

Just damn tired. I don't really know if I'm making right choices. You can't miss anything when dead but if you think you will are you ready to die. Man I dunno

 

[Chalken]

Sick of existing. I can't even call it living since I'm an empty shell of a human being. Might end it next month.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Mindless venting just ignore this....
I tried I tried AGAIN to have a "normal" life. I have not worked in years and I got a job recently. I seriously overestimated my capabilities since I already live with chronic pain. Well no surprise I can't to the job. I'm a failure...I fail at everything I do. I so wanted to try this type job so I didn't have to be stuck doing office customer service shit like I used to. I just hate life. Why bother why try? I'll just get beaten down again. I hate life and I hate myself.

 

[Voidwalker]

In limbo between being content with life and wishing to have never existed. I always think about my life presently and compare it to what it was like as a child, or what my child self would have liked to see. It's always disappointing to think about how your life circumstances are mostly determined by two people who decide to have sex at a given point in time, with almost no regard to how their actions will ripple outwards. Honestly, I just want to go to sleep and either stay in the world of my dreams, or never wake up again.

 

[ZixivaldYrxes]

I'm afraid that this is just the beginning. Like all of this was a sham, an introductory phase to a whole new way of "living". Basically the first stepping stone in a long, slow and confusing descent into hell. I sincerely believe that all of us have been elsewhere before, and that the rules were different there, and it's exactly the discrepancy between now and the fragmentary, instinctual memory of the past that creates suicidal feelings that should otherwise not be there (if this were normal, and we were perfectly adapted to it, as all living creatures should be, then why would it feel wrong?).

I feel dread and discombobulation. Just complete futility. And I see other people from the outside, and recognize that somehow they don't feel so desolate, and I remember when I didn't feel that way too. Staring at the abyss + it looking back type stuff except I'm taking it extremely literally. And the funny thing is that I don't think it would be all that hard for my mind to be changed- but the ease of changing it doesn't mean that it will happen.

 

[stellabelle]

I feel like I want this more than anything in the world and it's not going to be like that

 

[silentsinger]

Pain.

 

[Xena]

Regret. Despair.

 

[15dec]

I really want to run away and start fresh, where nobody knows me, nobody expects anything of me and I can just feel free of all these burdens and forget everything that's happened

 

[Seaghost]

Want her back now and forever. Will do what you want you gods above. Everything. For about seven years you sent her in my arms with a red rose in her hand. Just gimme my angel back.
Or just accept my death. Let me ctb and give my power to her.
Thats all what I want!!!! Let it happen and don't play with me.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I feel like a ghost. Forgettable and invisible. Ready to just slip away into nothingness.

 

[Ivenocare]

empty

 

[Fadingfast]

I try to turn anything I see into a suicide method.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Defeated.

 

[Abaigh]

Very suicidal but too scared to acc do something about it.

 

[BooGirl]

bad horrible no good very awful. Why can't I just not exist? I have an Amazon gift card, I could just go and buy Sn, then hope for the best with any issues of my mom finding it, then go off to college and die in the bathroom or something. I know a nice bathroom in one of the buildings on campus. I could bring a couple of water bottles or something. god, this is unpleasant.

 

[MysticPerception]

Sleepy. I'm not sure what I expect to feel when it's almost time for bed though. Dread is on the back burner right now since I'm really sleepy.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I just read some news on Reddit that a 15 year old boy in Bulgaria killed himself after losing hope about the planet and jumped out of a window at his school.

The thing is his photo doesn't look 15. He looks like he's in elementary school or something.

I think kids are smarter than people think. They're even smarter than most adults. There will be more kids committing suicide after him.

I honestly don't know how to feel about this. Kids are losing hope in this day and age.. If those kids never existed, they would never have to feel the burden of life.
Now the internet makes it more easier to see how meaningless life is and all the kids are in despair. They don't deserve this.

 

[NotOfThisEarth]

Sad. Guilty for wanting to CTB and because of my family(mom & brother)I would leave behind and thinking about what people would say about me b/c I did it. I have a 16 yr old cat & I won't leave her-it's just the 2 of us now. Today she was not feeling well and made me so scared of losing her.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Hatred for my life circumstances.

 

[k75]

I'm feeling so nervous and scared and hopeless about tomorrow. I'm afraid the two doctors I'm seeing can't help me, and it'll all be for nothing. I'm terrified my stomach is going to continue to be paralysed forever, and I can't live like this.

I wanted so badly to beat these suicidal urges, but all I can see is death staring me in the face. I can't live like this. I'm so sick, and my entire body is rebelling all at once.

I'm scared I won't even be able to finish cleaning my apartment like I wanted before pulling out my SN because of the pain. There's so much I wanted to do before it came to this.

I miss my cat so much. She's gone, but I still see her everywhere.

I really need my best friend right now, and he's 800 miles away. I wanted to see him one last time, but I don't think I'm strong enough to endure all this pain. I love him so fucking much. If I throw up one more time tonight, I'm afraid it might push me over the edge.

I need help.

 

[BabyYoda]

Sad. When I'm not supposed to be. I swear I was feeling fine the whole day.

14 is coming and it sucks. I really wish that some guy would hug me because he loves me FOR WHO I AM and not because he's being nice. I want to be the first choice PLEASE. Make me your first choice or I'll make suicide mine.

 

[Jean Améry]

Tired, deathly tired and almost ready to give up.

 

[lizinha]

A numb state. I don't feel anything I wish I could put it into better words but it's ineffable

 

[Thereisnothing]

What the heck am I still doing here............should be gone by now.............but how.

Sad. When I'm not supposed to be. I swear I was feeling fine the whole day.

14 is coming and it sucks. I really wish that some guy would hug me because he loves me FOR WHO I AM and not because he's being nice. I want to be the first choice PLEASE. Make me your first choice or I'll make suicide mine.

I wish the same too, hug wise, but for now accept a hug from me (((((((((((((((BabyYoda)))))))))))))))))))xx

 

[Pupuce]

Stupid.
I got close to a girl who had a boyfriend, to the point of being friends with benefits, everyone involved was ok with it as far as I knew, even me for a couple of months, then I felt awful when I "remembered" that I wasn't (and shouldn't let's be honest) as important as him.
So I'm drinking my dumb fuck juice with my dumbass self wondering whether I should get a rope or go get electrocuted.