what is it feels like to be in love?

[catbunny]

I know you dont have a right answer it, thats why i am so curious.

I have been in love a few times, maybe 5 or 6 exes (?) IDK I lost count at one point. I do situationship a lot. Partly because people think I'm kind of pretty, and also because I'm flirty in some ways. But most of them doesn't turn into relationship because I just do this whole "situationship" for fun and also because I was lonely. Ofc there are times when I fluttered or my heart when bumping and I have butterflies in my stomach. But I don't think thats love, that are just fleeting emotions.

When I do actually get into a relationship. It was cool the first or second week. But then it started getting really bad. Maybe its me that got bored or them? I did put a lot of effort into a relationships tho. It just that some of them did stuff that made me disappointed little by little then it exploded or I just can't handle to be able to endure with their unfunny jokes anymore.

I was wanting to marry one before, and thought theyre truly my soulmate, not because I love them, just because they're the only one who can handle my personality. However when I think of it deeply I wonder (I have a really good make up on at the time Im thinking that), can I do better? I feel like staying here is too low for someone who looks like me, with this look I can do better. With someone who care about their looks most, more than health and everything, I dont want to stop here. -> I broke up with them. (not the main reason btw)

So now I'm wondering when you truly in love, will you think that? will you gonna put them on top or something? Are you gonna see their little bad personality and goes "yeah thats alright i can handle that"? IDK but sometimes I just accept that I'll never be able to feel or find someone I really love or loved me.

 

[thefirstluminary]

I've never been in a relationship, but I've always believed that people who are married or together complete each other. Once you spend enough time with someone, their flaws become impossible to ignore. Real love is how you handle that reality: it's either enduring those flaws to fight for the relationship, or having the strength to let them go so they can find a better life

 

[Dejected 55]

I have loved, but no one has ever loved me. Love isn't perfect, it is flawed and you'll have problems in even the best relationship... but I feel like when you are in love, you put the other person at least equal to you. You learn about your partner, you're always interested, you want them to be happy. When you and your partner both want this for each other, then it works, even when problems come up... but if one of you wants good for your partner more than the other, that imbalance will kill the relationship eventually.

 

[Lamentice]

My experiencing being in love (the one time, and it was unrequited) was that my view of them wasn't necessarily reality, but it also wasn't overwhelmingly positive either.

I just obsessively wanted to be around them and recieve attention from them. I thought about them constantly, even though I didn't really want to (I'm schizoid and partnership isn't very appealing to me), I would try to insert myself into their day even if it was clear they were indifferent or opposed, I poured hours of emotional labor into them and even though resentment did build over the years from them never reciprocating the labor and effort, I just desperately wanted their care and attention and kept trying and the most delusional part was that I thought if I was just around and available enough they'd have to develop feelings for me.

I did notice their flaws and ultimately I did believe we were incompatible even while I was pining for them.

It was jarring to experience because the way my brain is wired I really don't like people that much or desire people (not friends, not family, not partners), I prefer being alone and the most peaceful idealistic version of my life I can envision I am alone, busy with hobbies and close to nature and surrounded by pets and always minding my own business.

I think at the time I was in love my personality disorder was still under development and wasn't so much who I just am yet. I think the experience, especially it lasting as long as it did and ending like it did, contributed to my brain severing the need for people.

I ended up just vanishing from their life without a word, and they didn't ever reach out to reconnect or express interest in having me in their life. And I still think of them quite the same: there is inexplicably intense fondness, but I just really don't know if I even like who they are as a person and am pretty sure they didn't super like who I am either. Weird.

 

[violetforever]

My experiencing being in love (the one time, and it was unrequited) was that my view of them wasn't necessarily reality, but it also wasn't overwhelmingly positive either.

i feel exactly the same as everything u wrote wow.