wanna leave in the next 30 minutes

[Ramirez]

Are you feeling any better op?

more drunk. but im determined to leave tonight. i have to. imma take my time to calm down a little.
im such a coward omg im terrified still. cant even walk straight. gimme 20 more minutes. this will work it has to. no more of this.

 

[Ghost2211]

more drunk. but im determined to leave tonight. i have to. imma take my time to calm down a little.
im such a coward omg im terrified still. cant even walk straight. gimme 20 more minutes. this will work it has to. no more of this.

You're not a coward. Ctb is legit scary. Sending you hugs.

 

[Ramirez]

why is this soo hard? i tried before 3 times. ive nothing now. i dont get it.

 

[dropdeadfred]

why is this soo hard? i tried before 3 times. ive nothing now. i dont get it.

It's the end of what you've known. I'd say most of us here struggle with that as well.

 

[Ghost2211]

why is this soo hard? i tried before 3 times. ive nothing now. i dont get it.

SI is a bitch

 

[Ramirez]

sorry im getting yall upset over nothing. not my intention i swear.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

why is this soo hard? i tried before 3 times. ive nothing now. i dont get it.

Phil, why is it so urgent that you leave tonight? Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not easy. Take some time out to calm down. You need coffee!!

 

[Ramirez]

SI is a bitch

yeah fuck. wtf for real.

 

[ecmnesia]

you are not letting anyone down Phil. we understand you. don't be so harsh on yourself. we are here to support and not judge you, don't worry about us.

 

[dropdeadfred]

sorry im getting yall upset over nothing. not my intention i swear.

It's what we do. No one walks the same path- it's always difficult to some degree. Give yourself some love.

 

[_Kaira_]

why is this soo hard? i tried before 3 times. ive nothing now. i dont get it.

Probably because you're certain this attempt will be successful, and that the ultimate finality of it is scary. Which it is.

As others have said, you have the option to give yourself a little more time, there really is no rush. Your claim that you have to, just because you burned your bridges, does not need to decide your fate in the long run.

Obviously we do not know exact details. But think about yourself. Is this truly what you want? Or are you doing it because you're afraid of those burned bridges you claim to have? I do not want to seem rude, or push you in either direction, but it just seems like you're feeling like you have to make an impulsive decision. You are still ok to make a choice.

 

[Ramirez]

Phil, why is it so urgent that you leave tonight? Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not easy. Take some time out to calm down. You need coffee!!

ive been planing this for years. ive nothing. no family. fuck i dont even have food anymore. it has to happen now. and im freaking out fuck.

 

[Ghost2211]

ive been planing this for years. ive nothing. no family. fuck i dont even have food anymore. it has to happen now. and im freaking out fuck.

Did you accidentally get too drunk?

 

[Ramirez]

3 more shots and i hope i can go. FUCK ME. wtf imma be homeless if i cant do this. i cant believe this is what it came to...

 

[x~Sophia~x]

ive been planing this for years. ive nothing. no family. fuck i dont even have food anymore. it has to happen now. and im freaking out fuck.

I'm sure someone can help you out with some food. Did you give up your house as well? None of this matters people have survived through worse.

 

[Ramirez]

Did you accidentally get too drunk?

no its the night.

 

[ecmnesia]

i know it might sound scary. but if that's what you pushing you to do it now, although harsh, there is still a chance for you to get back on your feet.

i don't want to push you or anything. but you do not seem ready to do this. and it's ok. it's normal to be scared. you are in a rough situation. the bridges are burned and it seems like there is no way out. but if you have even the minimum wish to try again, please reconsider.

 

[Brackenshire]

@Phil122 talk to us

 

[ecmnesia]

i am so sorry you are in this situation Phil. nobody should be trapped between ctb and homelessness.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

3 more shots and i hope i can go. FUCK ME. wtf imma be homeless if i cant do this. i cant believe this is what it came to...

I don't think you're in the right mindset now. Can you sleep tonight and rethink what you want to do tomorrow? I'm so sorry, I know this must be so disappointing for you.

 

[_Kaira_]

ive been planing this for years. ive nothing. no family. fuck i dont even have food anymore. it has to happen now. and im freaking out fuck.

I know what you're feeling. I am estranged from my family for multiple reasons, so I can tell you I don't really have anyone myself. I am at the brink of homelessness cause of my relationship with the people I'm living with, I am living off food stamps and handouts, otherwise I would starve. I also want to ctb. But again, if you are teetering on the edge of this decision, maybe you should reconsider your options. We want you to be at peace, but if you have options, and want to CTB because you feel as though you don't, maybe you should give it a few more days. You can find resources for food and shelter.

You can come back to us tomorrow and talk more about it. We are here to support you.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

no its the night.

Well, some of us are still with you. You're not alone.

 

[Ramirez]

k imma do it . im such a coward compared to ellie scouter and all the others. they just do it but i cant. its sad. but its sooo fucking hard i dont understand.
thanx guys. i love all of you. you guys are the best. really.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

We're all still with you Phil, we'll be with you until you decide one way or the other.

 

[ecmnesia]

you not a coward. each of us has its own time. it's ok not to be ready. it's not a competition. we won't look down on you.

we are all scared as well. after all we are still here aren't we?

if you feel like this Phil, it's probably because it's not your time yet.

 

[Ghost2211]

k imma do it . im such a coward compared to ellie scouter and all the others. they just do it but i cant. its sad. but its sooo fucking hard i dont understand.
thanx guys. i love all of you. you guys are the best. really.

I hope you find peace.

 

[ecmnesia]

Can you sleep tonight and rethink what you want to do tomorrow?

how about this @Phil122 ? it's the middle path, you can try it again tomorrow if you feel more confident.

 

[Deleted member 23586]

k imma do it . im such a coward compared to ellie scouter and all the others. they just do it but i cant. its sad. but its sooo fucking hard i dont understand.
thanx guys. i love all of you. you guys are the best. really.

Babe it's ok. If you can't do it now, don't beat yourself up ok? I just really want you to know that. I'm so sorry hun.

 

[GreenTree]

Feel your pain mate. It's a cruel world.

 

[darksideofthebright]

OP, I can feel that you are going through an insane amount of sufferings, especially mentally. Please do know, even in your last moment that you are in no way a coward. CTB is a way out, yes, but no one can say it is the easiest way out. The fact that you contemplated it and are now determined to do it, it doesn't mean you are weak, it just means that life has been difficult for you.

We are here to respect and support each other regardless of whether or not you decide to ctb tonight/today. So if a small part of you is telling you that it might not be the right time, that part might be right. We can't speak for you because we don't know you personally or your struggles. But if something were to come up and make you change your mind, we would love (or at least I would love) to have a chance to hear what you have to say.

All being said, we respect your decision, and we wish you peace because you deserve it.