invisiblycrippled

invisiblycrippled

Temporary solutions to a permanent problem.
Oct 18, 2018
85
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RottingFlowerBrains

RottingFlowerBrains

Student
Sep 10, 2018
193
Peace be with you Dani
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Well...time to decide whether or not I want my last meal. I'd like to have a sausage and cheese sandwich.

https://g.co/kgs/YuWwn4

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Perfect time for a last meal. Your post reminds me of a similar one with CO - I'm sure you know who I'm referring to. You are not alone. Peace be with you soon Dani. I hope you find what you're looking for...
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
This is it guys. I'm going in the tent and I'm gonna pass out. I'm really tired, and there's a shitload of charcoal in there.
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
Hugs <3 i know we have our differences but I still love you and I wish you a safe journey to everlasting peace
Our differences?? I feel like we're exactly the same. I love you.
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Calling him friend when you hardly know him

Why would it matter to you? Please refrain from random criticisms. This really doesn't seem like the time or place for it. Can't we all just try to get along?
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
I wish you all the best Dani. I hope sleep comes quickly.
 
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M

MachineGunDani

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
336
❤️Thinking of u
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Peace to you Dani.
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Is it really hot Dani? Can you feel the CO? I'm thinking of you! I hope you can't reply because you're already sleeping. Peace, friend.
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
I fucked up. I'm worried about being "saved." I'm tired as fuck. I can't even keep my eyes open. This would have worked perfectly. Except my original plan was to be in the tent by 3 am. And it's 6:46 am. My father will be up soon...…..and what if he DOES go in that shed??? If I get "saved" I will end up a vegetable. Brain damage. Vegetable. Zanexx did this out in the woods. She wasn't even found for about 2 days. I'm doing it in my back yard. It's not the same thing. I'm worried about being caught. It has to be done properly. I have to go to Plan B. I have just a bit of alcohol left and just enough charcoal. I'll have to take a nap and wait until he leaves for work. The charcoal that's already in the tent should even still be burning by then. I can't keep my eyes open right now though. I'll talk to you guys later.
 
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Thanks for letting us know. You're making the right decision. Timing is important and you shouldn't be rushed. Rescheduling is best so you can be peaceful and successful. I wonder what it was like I there...
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
I got lucky. My dad just left for work and he gave me a bit of money. I pulled it off. Because I'm such a chronic alcoholic that I actually go into withdrawals like a junkie. Like seriously. It's really bad. Really bad. And I need tobacco. So he gave me a little cash....and I'll be able to get another bottle AND another bag of charcoal.

This was Plan B. There is no Plan C.

My time is TOTALLY UP. If I don't do this today, then tomorrow he's taking me to the hospital. Alcohol detox. All the doctors and all that shit. Probably be there for a week. That ain't happening. I will not go. AND even if I did....once I get out...…...no money. Back to square one. AND I'll have to tear down that gas chamber tent that I spent an entire day making.

So....Plan B? And there was a thread on here about this. "Would you rather ctb during the day or night?" I'd rather ctb at night. That was the plan. But I have limited time. IF HE DOES happen to check the shed...it will be in the morning at around 9:30. Unless it's his day off, then it will be later. Well....Plan B....I'm gonna ctb during the day. Once I'm in that shed, in that tent, pitch black.....it might as well be night. I don't think it really makes a difference either way. My body won't be found for around 16 hours. At least. So I'm gonna go get my supplies :) <3
 
Last edited:
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M

Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
I got lucky. My dad just left for work and he gave me a bit of money. I pulled it off. Because I'm such a chronic alcoholic that I actually go into withdrawals like a junkie. Like seriously. It's really bad. Really bad. And I need tobacco. So he gave me a little cash....and I'll be able to get another bottle AND another bag of charcoal.

This was Plan B. There is no Plan C.

My time is TOTALLY UP. If I don't do this today, then tomorrow he's taking me to the hospital. Alcohol detox. All the doctors and all that shit. Probably be there for a week. That ain't happening. I will not go. AND even if I did....once I get out...…...no money. Back to square one. AND I'll have to tear down that gas chamber tent that I spent and entire day making.

So....Plan B? And there was a thread on here about this. "Would you rather ctb during the day or night?" I'd rather ctb at night. That was the plan. But I have limited time. IF HE DOES happen to check the shed...it will be in the morning at around 9:30. Unless it's his day off, then it will be later. Well....Plan B....I'm gonna ctb during the day. Once I'm in that shed, in that tent, pitch black.....it might as well be night. I don't think it really makes a difference either way. So I'm off in a bit. Gotta get my supplies. My body won't be found for around 16 hours. At least. So I'm gonna go get my supplies :) <3
Dani if we could be together I would die with you
 
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invisiblycrippled

invisiblycrippled

Temporary solutions to a permanent problem.
Oct 18, 2018
85
I hope all goes well this time. You deserve your peace.
 
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your pathologist

your pathologist

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sep 5, 2018
519
You can do it dani, good luck!! You deserve peace
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
The clock is really ticking now. I've got my second batch of charcoal burning. First batch is already in the tent, and I'm starting to drink now. It won't be much longer.
 
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Duqu

Duqu

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Aug 27, 2018
452
Wishing you the best, Dani.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Good luck, I hope you finally find peace after so much trouble.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
The clock is really ticking now. I've got my second batch of charcoal burning. First batch is already in the tent, and I'm starting to drink now. It won't be much longer.
Hey man. It seems like you have a lot of fears. You could make it through alcohol detox. And so what if you don't have enough money? You can always make more. It seems your dad lets you live with him.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
All I'm saying is, don't pretend like you don't have options because you do. Be real with yourself. You could try to live but it's freaking hard.

Make the choice that is right for you by not lying to yourself. I'm not trying to tilt you either way with which choice is right.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
Also I don't blame you for being done and overwhelmed with life. It happens to the best of us.

I believe that this is all part of a much longer exsistance. When we die, we go somewhere. I think wherever we are no matter what if we give up we'll look back and wish we hadn't. But fuck do I understand being unable to do that. Right now I'm just suffering through the bullshit, partially because I'm to cowardly to kill my self, partially because I don't want to look back and regret not taking on these challenges I face right now.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
Have a good long talk with yourself before you do this... you don't want to leave the earth feelin shit about yourself. This might be the right choice for you. But you gotta make damn sure it is. All your putting it off shows that you're not sure. Gotta be sure man.
 
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skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
Good luck, hope it goes as you desire
 
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