Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
Hey guys. Just an update. This is the second time I've run into an issue. I've taken a lot of precautions with this and gone out of my way with unnecessary things because I don't want to fuck up. This is not going to just be an attempt. It's going to simply be done. So I get worried about things going wrong. For some reason my father didn't go to sleep like he normally does. He fell asleep on his bed with the door open....like all fucking night. He only just got up a bit ago, was up for a minute, and then went in and shut the door. It's almost 6:30 am now. I want to go outside and light the charcoal, but now I'm getting concerned about interruptions. He's off today, so I know he'll be sleeping in a bit later, but it varies. He won't be up before 10, I know that for sure. But it could be 11 or 12. In rare occasions he sleeps until 1. It's making me nervous though. The charcoal won't be ready until after 7:30. Supposedly I should be dead BY 10:00. But I feel like I'm cutting it too close. My plan was to be in the tent by 3 am which was three and a half hours ago... And another issue is I don't know what to do with this gas chamber now. I'm getting worried. He's off today and tomorrow.... I know he already saw it in there this morning, but expecting it to just stay there for days is a little much... I know how he gets... If he goes in there and sees it a second time, at some point he's gonna get pissed and say something... So I don't know what to do right now.. I want to just light this charcoal and get it over with, but..... I feel like there isn't enough time to make sure I'm being safe >_< I'm pretty annoyed.
 
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I

IG959

Arcanist
Aug 14, 2018
430
I don't know what to suggest, I hope it works out for you I really do. Sending hugs and love
 
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onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
Hey guys. Just an update. This is the second time I've run into an issue. I've taken a lot of precautions with this and gone out of my way with unnecessary things because I don't want to fuck up. This is not going to just be an attempt. It's going to simply be done. So I get worried about things going wrong. For some reason my father didn't go to sleep like he normally does. He fell asleep on his bed with the door open....like all fucking night. He only just got up a bit ago, was up for a minute, and then went in and shut the door. It's almost 6:30 am now. I want to go outside and light the charcoal, but now I'm getting concerned about interruptions. He's off today, so I know he'll be sleeping in a bit later, but it varies. He won't be up before 10, I know that for sure. But it could be 11 or 12. In rare occasions he sleeps until 1. It's making me nervous though. The charcoal won't be ready until after 7:30. Supposedly I should be dead BY 10:00. But I feel like I'm cutting it too close. My plan was to be in the tent by 3 am which was three and a half hours ago... And another issue is I don't know what to do with this gas chamber now. I'm getting worried. He's off today and tomorrow.... I know he already saw it in there this morning, but expecting it to just stay there for days is a little much... I know how he gets... If he goes in there and sees it a second time, at some point he's gonna get pissed and say something... So I don't know what to do right now.. I want to just light this charcoal and get it over with, but..... I feel like there isn't enough time to make sure I'm being safe >_< I'm pretty annoyed.

If it comes to it, make up a lie in which you are still be busted for something. Say it's for smoking weed in.

And if you think you will be interrupted and 'saved' do not make the attempt. You could end up with brain damage.
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
The only thing I can suggest @daniparadox in light of these new circumstances is to pack it all up and postpone to another time. I know how hard it is to do that, trust me I really do know, but being impulsive and rushing will not only cause greater anxiety for you but may end in failure or worse (very serious medical issues). I'm sure you already know there are great risks with this method, if interrupted.

I personally think that timeframe is cutting it too short with too many unpredictable variables. Unless you want to change location, I think you must reschedule, despite how difficult and hard to accept that is. Of course, it's only my opinion based on limited information of the situation, so I wish you good luck with however you choose to proceed...
 
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S

Schopenhauer

Enlightened
Oct 3, 2018
1,133
What @s_girl said. I'd do as she says, if I were in your situation.
 
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SamK

SamK

Cloud Surfing
Aug 21, 2018
280
I agree with @s_girl <3
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
I have no choice but to leave it there and wait until tomorrow night. I can't risk being "saved." I'm taking a chance and rolling the dice, but more than likely he won't go in the shed. I don't know what the hell he went in there for this morning. I know that he did... there was a trail of water leading from the pool right up to the door of the shed. It was unusual. I've watched him. I know his routine. There isn't really anything even in there. He never goes in. I'm surprised he didn't say anything. Then again, I had a noose hanging in my closet for a year. When he found that it was a big thing. He got all pissed off and flipped out. But he knew that it was there, and it was there for a year. I'll have to just take this chance and wait until tonight. I should be fine. He sleeps in on his days off, so ideally, it is a better day to ctb. Assuming he goes to sleep at his regular time tonight (sometimes he goes to bed even earlier) I will have a much larger timeframe where I can be sure that I won't be interrupted. If I can be in that tent with the charcoal by 3 or 4 am, then I can be positive that I won't be found for at least 6-9 hours...potentially much longer. I'll have to just leave it there. I'm moving that charcoal back into my room, though. Better not to have any other evidence lying around.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Agree with postponing it. Sounds like you got way too many opportunities for things to go wrong, on top of that you dont want it to be a race to finish. Wait a couple days. Good luck
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
The only thing I can suggest @daniparadox in light of these new circumstances is to pack it all up and postpone to another time. I know how hard it is to do that, trust me I really do know, but being impulsive and rushing will not only cause greater anxiety for you but may end in failure or worse (very serious medical issues). I'm sure you already know there are great risks with this method, if interrupted.

I personally think that timeframe is cutting it too short with too many unpredictable variables. Unless you want to change location, I think you must reschedule, despite how difficult and hard to accept that is. Of course, it's only my opinion based on limited information of the situation, so I wish you good luck with however you choose to proceed...
Thank you. That's the thing. I'm getting OCD with my precautions. I can't exactly pack it up... otherwise I would bring it in my room. If I undo the tent, it will loosen up everything that I taped together. Right now, everything is perfect. I spent an entire day doing that. If I take apart the tent it will ruin everything.... >_<
 
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onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
I have no choice but to leave it there and wait until tomorrow night. I can't risk being "saved." I'm taking a chance and rolling the dice, but more than likely he won't go in the shed. I don't know what the hell he went in there for this morning. I know that he did... there was a trail of water leading from the pool right up to the door of the shed. It was unusual. I've watched him. I know his routine. There isn't really anything even in there. He never goes in. I'm surprised he didn't say anything. Then again, I had a noose hanging in my closet for a year. When he found that it was a big thing. He got all pissed off and flipped out. But he knew that it was there, and it was there for a year. I'll have to just take this chance and wait until tonight. I should be fine. He sleeps in on his days off, so ideally, it is a better day to ctb. Assuming he goes to sleep at his regular time tonight (sometimes he goes to bed even earlier) I will have a much larger timeframe where I can be sure that I won't be interrupted. If I can be in that tent with the charcoal by 3 or 4 am, then I can be positive that I won't be found for at least 6-9 hours...potentially much longer. I'll have to just leave it there. I'm moving that charcoal back into my room, though. Better not to have any other evidence lying around.

Good call brother. Take your time.

Thank you. That's the thing. I'm getting OCD with my precautions. I can't exactly pack it up... otherwise I would bring it in my room. If I undo the tent, it will loosen up everything that I taped together. Right now, everything is perfect. I spent an entire day doing that. If I take apart the tent it will ruin everything.... >_<

Remember, it's just a drug tent XD
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
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s_girl

s_girl

Still here?
Sep 13, 2018
191
Thank you. That's the thing. I'm getting OCD with my precautions. I can't exactly pack it up... otherwise I would bring it in my room. If I undo the tent, it will loosen up everything that I taped together. Right now, everything is perfect. I spent an entire day doing that. If I take apart the tent it will ruin everything.... >_<

Yeah I understand packing it away means undoing all your hard work and having to re-do it all again later. It's really hard to accept when things don't go the way we've planned. I personally wouldn't take the risk of being caught and confronted, as I wouldn't want the extra issues / anxiety or to be sectioned. But you know your dad, so if you don't think you'll be sectioned then the risk may be ok...

I think you've put a lot of time and effort into your planning and preparation to make it perfect, so it would be a shame if it were ruined by being rushed for the most important stage. My mind just thinks of all the things that can go wrong so I don't want to take ANY risks with mine... I've been impulsive before and failed. A lot of us here have been there before and know how difficult it is... There are just some things worse than waiting and postponing like being 'saved', confronted or restricted, sectioned or worse - being interrupted and having brain damage... Good luck with it Dani <3
 
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C

CJM

Experienced
Jul 13, 2018
246
True on playing it safe, you really don't want to get caught or "saved" with this kind of set up, it's take you away material.
 
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L

Lovemykids

Specialist
Oct 1, 2018
349
Just pretend u doin bbq
 
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M

MachineGunDani

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
336
Lol bring some hotdogs!
 
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deathoverlife

deathoverlife

life is fleeting.....
Oct 8, 2018
197
Hey guys. Just an update. This is the second time I've run into an issue. I've taken a lot of precautions with this and gone out of my way with unnecessary things because I don't want to fuck up. This is not going to just be an attempt. It's going to simply be done. So I get worried about things going wrong. For some reason my father didn't go to sleep like he normally does. He fell asleep on his bed with the door open....like all fucking night. He only just got up a bit ago, was up for a minute, and then went in and shut the door. It's almost 6:30 am now. I want to go outside and light the charcoal, but now I'm getting concerned about interruptions. He's off today, so I know he'll be sleeping in a bit later, but it varies. He won't be up before 10, I know that for sure. But it could be 11 or 12. In rare occasions he sleeps until 1. It's making me nervous though. The charcoal won't be ready until after 7:30. Supposedly I should be dead BY 10:00. But I feel like I'm cutting it too close. My plan was to be in the tent by 3 am which was three and a half hours ago... And another issue is I don't know what to do with this gas chamber now. I'm getting worried. He's off today and tomorrow.... I know he already saw it in there this morning, but expecting it to just stay there for days is a little much... I know how he gets... If he goes in there and sees it a second time, at some point he's gonna get pissed and say something... So I don't know what to do right now.. I want to just light this charcoal and get it over with, but..... I feel like there isn't enough time to make sure I'm being safe >_< I'm pretty annoyed.
would say dont rush into it.. reschedule. i sense more chance of being rescued than being successful with the attempt... today may not be the day for you...
 
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Nanimoaru

Nanimoaru

I wanna fade away like I never was
Sep 15, 2018
153
Hey at least you'll be able to bring your phone in and have music and us?
 
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Jai

Jai

Specialist
Sep 23, 2018
384
Mate I don't live with with anyone so I know your concern I've been following your thread and was hopeful for you if I'm aware you said you dad saw it you panicked so I assume he didn't call the authorities, if your that determined just do it but obviously I'm not in your shoes if your dads a drinker and has a few days off reminiscing about thing over whiskey or whatever for a while my take him into a slumber I remember my dad after a few guiness and a couple of shots wasn't a big drinker would be out like a light for at least 12 hours but as I've said I don't know you story but good luck take a breather sounds like anxiety is all over you if it's meant to be it's meant to be if not mate no shame
 
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Aesthler

Aesthler

Death is the only God who comes when you call
Sep 25, 2018
416
Been thinking about you a lot today, I hope nothing is going wrong and you are either safe or found peace.
 
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Candour

Candour

Student
Sep 16, 2018
113
Same as above, thanks for your help Dani, I hope so much this goes well for you. Xx
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
Bon voyage comrade! I hope it's complication-free and you get the desired result.
Peace
 
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Lunar

Lunar

Student
Aug 14, 2018
188
I don't really know what to say to goodbye threads but I wish you peace, Dani. I know I've seen you in the shoutbox often and you're a well loved member here.
 
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optimumorange

optimumorange

Member
Oct 9, 2018
11
as well i followed this thread and empathized for OP's situation and i hope he is at peace right now
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Damn dani, I'm guessing you went through with it. R.I.P. I hope you find the peace we search for.
 
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M

Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
Rest in Peace Dani <3
 
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Punished snake

Punished snake

Student
Sep 9, 2018
110
I hope the absolute madman did it <3
 
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onewayroad

onewayroad

“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
Oct 4, 2018
358
Really worried he got caught and is in hospital... hope you are at peace Dani
 
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open skyes

open skyes

Life is No where ...
Oct 10, 2018
24
New to this group ..this was the first post I followed. I hope you got through and at peac now
 
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deathoverlife

deathoverlife

life is fleeting.....
Oct 8, 2018
197
dani boy...am just as worried as @onewayroad. your last post spoke about the tight time lines you had to work on!! hope our fears won't come true and you got through and at peace now
 
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