I made the mistake of looking up some of my old high school fellows and saw so many of them posting wedding photos, vacations they were taking, stuff like that. I'd find a few LinkedIn profiles and some own businesses or are in high positions for their company. Heck one of the guys I went to school with had his face on a billboard! And here I am, a guy who's a prolific member of a
"niche" forum while they make life look so easy.
I named myself based on this envy and resentment I feel towards this. I know it's not healthy, but it just feels wrong that some people who are total pieces of shit are successful, while the people who suffered trauma, or were loners, or just hated their life in general throughout their childhood end up having to settle for a life of living to each day rather than enjoying themselves like
those people can.
I try to forget it though, and focus on the fact that I'm grateful to have a job, even if it's monotonous, because at least I'm not living on the streets. I could've ended up so messed up that I go in and out of prison.
Self-comparison is one of my biggest issues, and it sounds like it's a big part of your life as well. I'm sorry that you have to go through that too. It can be unspeakably painful at times. Your feelings are valid, however...
I do think you should consider what
@DeathSweetDeath said. In particular looking into career counseling. It has helped me so much. It's a hard world, and it took me a while to realize that getting support doesn't make me a loser, lots of people need help nowadays.
Seeing all these people with their master degrees failing to find a job is genuinely terrifying. What's next? Janitors needing to obtain a diploma?
Yes, actually. I only have my GED and I remember seeing a job posting for a cardboard box factory
preferring a 2 year associate's degree. When I was trying to get internships for my degree I shit you not I saw a listing wanting interns to
have a master in computer science to be a on a customer support hotline. For an
internship. Yeah there was no way I was getting my degree. I wish teachers would educate students about the current realities of college. Not to rob them of hope, but to educate the future to not make our mistakes.