Today's the day, guys

[Dani Paradox]

Fuck this. I don't give a fuck that he saw it. He has no time. Unless he calls out of work to go talk to someone, I'm gonna be fucking dead by tomorrow morning. He might shrug it off like the noose that I had in my closet for a year. This is different though.

 

[onewayroad]

Fuck, guys, my dad found my gas chamber. I'm kind of freaking out. He hasn't said anything. I mean, I know he's understanding of my suicide, but this is pretty serious. Idk what might happen. He honestly might just let me kill myself, or he might call someone. Idk. I've been watching him for awhile. He's like a robot. He has a routine. He goes outside for the pool in the morning, but he rarely EVER goes in that shed. I literally JUST put this fucking thing in that shed for ONE fucking night. He woke up this morning and I saw him out the window walking near there, so I went outside and there was a trail of water leading from the pool right up to the door of the shed. Obviously he fucking went inside it for something. Idk what to do now. I'm worried. He definitely saw my gas chamber. And he honestly might even say fuck it and let me do it. But he gets in moods. He might get in a mood and snap, and call someone. Idk what to think. I'm worried. I was gonna do it today or tonight....like what the fuck. I JUST put it there. This is ridiculous.

Fuck... all you can do now is wait and see what happens. I hope he doesn't realize what it is and just ignores it. Let us know what happens.

 

[Fucking loving it]

All you can do now is wait. . . See what happens.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Fuck... all you can do now is wait and see what happens. I hope he doesn't realize what it is and just ignores it. Let us know what happens.

Oh he definitely knows. Theres a bag of charcoal next to it. He knows I'm probably gonna kill myself. He's even rushed me to do it. For a year I said I was gonna hang myself. And lately I've said I was gonna gas myself...…. and now he found this instead of the noose... Honestly he might just let me do it and not say anything. I know he doesn't want to see me suffer anymore. But he does get in moods...….. So idk how he might react. But right now its one of those moments where he's going around doing his thing and I know he saw it but hes not saying anything.....

 

[deathoverlife]

Fuck, guys, my dad found my gas chamber. I'm kind of freaking out. He hasn't said anything. I mean, I know he's understanding of my suicide, but this is pretty serious. Idk what might happen. He honestly might just let me kill myself, or he might call someone. Idk. I've been watching him for awhile. He's like a robot. He has a routine. He goes outside for the pool in the morning, but he rarely EVER goes in that shed. I literally JUST put this fucking thing in that shed for ONE fucking night. He woke up this morning and I saw him out the window walking near there, so I went outside and there was a trail of water leading from the pool right up to the door of the shed. Obviously he fucking went inside it for something. Idk what to do now. I'm worried. He definitely saw my gas chamber. And he honestly might even say fuck it and let me do it. But he gets in moods. He might get in a mood and snap, and call someone. Idk what to think. I'm worried. I was gonna do it today or tonight....like what the fuck. I JUST put it there. This is ridiculous.

Hell!!. You are living my fear. Am scared to be caught while preparing or during the process. Am literally shaking now .Good luck to you.. do let us know hoe it goes. Hope everything will end fine for you as planned ..

 

[MachineGunDani]

It's the worst feeling worrying about getting caught and someone fucking up ur plan

 

[Circles]

Oh he definitely knows. Theres a bag of charcoal next to it. He knows I'm probably gonna kill myself. He's even rushed me to do it. For a year I said I was gonna hang myself. And lately I've said I was gonna gas myself...…. and now he found this instead of the noose... Honestly he might just let me do it and not say anything. I know he doesn't want to see me suffer anymore. But he does get in moods...….. So idk how he might react. But right now its one of those moments where he's going around doing his thing and I know he saw it but hes not saying anything.....

First I just wanted to say I had you in my thoughts all day especially at work. Your courage to take control helped me get through another fucked up day. It's not much to say it but I want to thank you. Whatever decision you make I hope it's yours to decide. I'll be here if you want to talk anytime.

 

[Dani Paradox]

First I just wanted to say I had you in my thoughts all day especially at work. Your courage to take control helped me get through another fucked up day. It's not much to say it but I want to thank you. Whatever decision you make I hope it's yours to decide. I'll be here if you want to talk anytime.

Thank you, man. I'm glad I could help. I wish you the best.

 

[Dani Paradox]

My dad seriously just left for work and seriously never said anything. He just told me to hang in there. I guess I'm lucky. As fucked up as my life is, I have a very understanding father. I know goddamn well that he saw what was in that shed. And he's not stupid. He knows what it was. When he gets home and goes to bed I'm going to ctb. It's simply just time. I haven't even barely slept in days. Imma pass out in that tent though, I know that.

 

[open skyes]

I've put this off for long enough. I spent a year thinking I was going to go with partial suspension, and couldn't go through with it. I finally decided on CO, and I've got everything I need. I am going to be doing it inside of a tent that will be entirely sealed with trash bags, with a tarp over the top, inside of my shed. I'm going to start setting up my tent soon. Once it's all perfected and set up it's just a matter of waiting. In approximately 15 hours I will start burning my charcoal and drinking. Once it's burned down and stopped smoking, I am bringing it into the tent and going to sleep. I appreciate all of the support and encouragement I've gotten in this wonderful community, and I wish you all the best. I hope you all find peace. I'm at the end of my rope, and the clock is ticking now. I am a bit scared of failure, but logically it would be impossible for this to not work. I am scared and excited at the same time. The pain will be over soon.

Good luck

 

[Circles]

Thank you, man. I'm glad I could help. I wish you the best.

Damn man I wish I could help you somehow someway. I hope you have a blissful journey. I'm sorry it's come to this I wish you peace.

 

[ctoan]

you sure you really want to kill yourself? because it sounds like you wanted to be found, no?

i mean you could have chosen any remote place on earth...but from all places you choosed this place





its not a shame if you choose to live.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Let us hope he doesn't freak out and interrupt you, or call an ambulance.

 

[Dani Paradox]

you sure you really want to kill yourself? because it sounds like you wanted to be found, no?

i mean you could have chosen any remote place on earth...but from all places you choosed this place





its not a shame if you choose to live.

Well there isn't exactly anywhere else to go that wouldn't draw attention. Even in the woods or on a camping ground. It's not just a regular tent. It looks like a gas chamber. It's wrapped in trash bags and tarps and shit all taped up with duct tape. So I have it placed inside my shed. Where in the would could I possibly go where it wouldn't draw attention, aside from inside this shed away from public eye?

 

[Jaded]

. So I have it placed inside my shed. Where in the would could I possibly go where it wouldn't draw attention, aside from inside this shed away from public eye?

You don't have to do it today. Don't feel pressured because you prepared. It's completely your choice.

 

[ctoan]

Well there isn't exactly anywhere else to go that wouldn't draw attention. Even in the woods or on a camping ground. It's not just a regular tent. It looks like a gas chamber. It's wrapped in trash bags and tarps and shit all taped up with duct tape. So I have it placed inside my shed. Where in the would could I possibly go where it wouldn't draw attention, aside from inside this shed away from public eye?

you make it sound like woods are frequented like the subway of tokyo...but its your decision

btw i think i have already seen tents with trash bags on it...homeless people do this sometime..against the rain

 

[406blue]

People want to talk in this site partially because they want to live, to explain or feel contact. To feel understood and less lost and miserable. Apart from asking direct questions about method, why else would you come here. These posts are heartbreaking.

 

[Morning Angel]

People want to talk in this site partially because they want to live.

Uhhh

 

[406blue]

Uhhh

Of course. There are so many posts about the conflict to either live or die if you look around. I said partially.

 

[Nanimoaru]

I've put this off for long enough. I spent a year thinking I was going to go with partial suspension, and couldn't go through with it. I finally decided on CO, and I've got everything I need. I am going to be doing it inside of a tent that will be entirely sealed with trash bags, with a tarp over the top, inside of my shed. I'm going to start setting up my tent soon. Once it's all perfected and set up it's just a matter of waiting. In approximately 15 hours I will start burning my charcoal and drinking. Once it's burned down and stopped smoking, I am bringing it into the tent and going to sleep. I appreciate all of the support and encouragement I've gotten in this wonderful community, and I wish you all the best. I hope you all find peace. I'm at the end of my rope, and the clock is ticking now. I am a bit scared of failure, but logically it would be impossible for this to not work. I am scared and excited at the same time. The pain will be over soon.

May you find eternal peace

 

[Duqu]

Honestly considering all the weather proofing you did with the trash bags and such I think you'd be ok with regular duct tape but I also don't want your last moments to be that of anxiety "is this gonna be good enough will it work??" etc. I've personally weatherproofed an actual tent meant for camping with REGULAR duct tape (mind, it wasn't on the bottom it was on the top where it had a hole) and it survived rain anyway...unsure of CO though since it's obviously a smaller size than rain lol.

Best of luck to you, mate.

 

[Mr2005]

People want to talk in this site partially because they want to live, to explain or feel contact. To feel understood and less lost and miserable. Apart from asking direct questions about method, why else would you come here. These posts are heartbreaking.

I agree. It poses a real ethical dilemma

 

[406blue]

Uhhh

The reason there's so much debate on this site is varied. It can discuss method, simply. But the majority of the posts relate to existential issues., which seem to me to indicate a dilemma, people want to vent about it. I think that's what this site was intended for. An exchange of ideas. Don't uhhhh me. Say something cohesive.

 

[-OneLastWhiskey]

Rest in peace my friend.

 

[Punished snake]

Jeez dude you're very unlucky

 

[s_girl]

When he gets home and goes to bed I'm going to ctb. It's simply just time. I haven't even barely slept in days. Imma pass out in that tent though, I know that.

I've been following this thread and I'm sorry to hear it hasn't turned out the way you planned. Don't feel rushed or pressured because of your plan and preparations though. It's a big important decision that should not be rushed or filled with extra anxiety... Whether you do it tonight, tomorrow, not for a little while or not at all, I think you'll know what's right for you in your heart. Impulsivity often leads to failure so go listen to some Jim while you're waiting, take some deep breaths and just see how you feel about it NOW, in light of what's happened... You might have to just 'go with the flow' now and see what happens with your dad next. Thanks for sharing your journey and I'm here if you want to talk. I'll be following along, so you are not alone in this and I wish you peace of mind for whatever you choose to do next... <3

 

[s_girl]

The reason there's so much debate on this site is varied. It can discuss method, simply. But the majority of the posts relate to existential issues., which seem to me to indicate a dilemma, people want to vent about it. I think that's what this site was intended for. An exchange of ideas. Don't uhhhh me. Say something cohesive.

I agree with what you're saying but I don't think this is the best thread for that. You're right but there is a better time and place for that conversation...

 

[406blue]

I agree with what you're saying but I don't think this is the best thread for that. You're right but there is a better time and place for that conversation...

You're probably right as well.

 

[Morning Angel]

The reason there's so much debate on this site is varied. It can discuss method, simply. But the majority of the posts relate to existential issues., which seem to me to indicate a dilemma, people want to vent about it. I think that's what this site was intended for. An exchange of ideas. Don't uhhhh me. Say something cohesive.

I'd be happy to discuss further in a PM. This is a goodbye thread so I prefer not to hijack it with an argument.

 

[Pipe11]

I followed your thread these days. I hope you are resting in eternal peace right now.