Nembutal seems like a dream

[binjisoya]

the pill handbook thing basically says it's impossible to acquire Nembutal now, especially in the states. this breaks my heart as someone who is scared of the pain of dying. I want to find a method where I can just sleep/go unconscious and pass then, but it seems there isn't many ways of achieving so.
Even with SN it seems there's some kind of painful struggle (vomiting, insides "burning", headache)
I have started thinking about looking into using benzos before maybe hanging? I saw a discussion about it from an Asian girl who hung herself, but hanging doesn't feel.. welcoming for me. I want to be able to lay in bed and listen to my favorite songs one more time as I drift into death. hanging feels cold in my mind, no comfort to be offered in the end until you're gone.
I really don't know what method to go for, already struggling to live and then struggling to find a way to die is ironic.

anyone want to share their preferred methods?

 

[ctb_warrior]

I seriously relate to this. I wish N was easily available. CTB would be simple, fast, reliable and peaceful
My preferred peaceful method is CO as everything one needs to create it is available in the market. The only struggle is right execution with proper planning to generate enough CO in a small space that can let me CTB peacefully.

Talking about hanging, I read a thread yesterday, where this member used HDMI cord to try FSH and she experienced instant loss of consciousness however the HDMI cable snapped.

So, that makes me wonder if I can get the noose rightly placed, it can be peaceful. But there's a strong risk of getting strangulated. Another member who tried it got strangulated so they aborted their plan to CTB

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish for Nembutal and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just access it so finally I can be at peace from this terrible, torturous existence that I just always saw as a mistake, all I want is to cease existing as peacefully and painlessly as possible with no more suffering. Nothing would ever make me wish for the suffering of this dreadful, futile existence rather I just want this existence to be all gone, forgotten and erased for me, the fact that humans make methods like Nembutal illegal is such horrific extreme cruelty to me.

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

i saw a vid of an old woman drinking N and her only complaint was that the taste was bitter and then she just had some chocolate, it looked so peaceful, she drifted off a couple of minutes after taking it, and even said she "felt good" i wish i could get that :(

the pill handbook thing basically says it's impossible to acquire Nembutal now, especially in the states. this breaks my heart as someone who is scared of the pain of dying. I want to find a method where I can just sleep/go unconscious and pass then, but it seems there isn't many ways of achieving so.
Even with SN it seems there's some kind of painful struggle (vomiting, insides "burning", headache)
I have started thinking about looking into using benzos before maybe hanging? I saw a discussion about it from an Asian girl who hung herself, but hanging doesn't feel.. welcoming for me. I want to be able to lay in bed and listen to my favorite songs one more time as I drift into death. hanging feels cold in my mind, no comfort to be offered in the end until you're gone.
I really don't know what method to go for, already struggling to live and then struggling to find a way to die is ironic.

anyone want to share their preferred methods?

 

[ctb_warrior]

i saw a vid of an old woman drinking N and her only complaint was that the taste was bitter and then she just had some chocolate, it looked so peaceful, she drifted off a couple of minutes after taking it, and even said she "felt good" i wish i could get that :(

You are right, its taste is bitter. I wish i could taste that bitterness for the ultimate peace

 

[LastNite]

It's been about 2 years since I last saw an actual source for nembutal but it only lasted for a couple months before the guy got hammered by whoever ran the market, "ignoring staff requests." I had my doubts, maybe it was a scam after all. It was ran through escrow so maybe not who knows.

He had like a 10g requirement for an order and I think he was selling a gram for a $100. So basically $1k for 10g. It's crazy expensive.

 

[khora]

the pill handbook thing basically says it's impossible to acquire Nembutal now, especially in the states. this breaks my heart as someone who is scared of the pain of dying. I want to find a method where I can just sleep/go unconscious and pass then, but it seems there isn't many ways of achieving so.
Even with SN it seems there's some kind of painful struggle (vomiting, insides "burning", headache)
I have started thinking about looking into using benzos before maybe hanging? I saw a discussion about it from an Asian girl who hung herself, but hanging doesn't feel.. welcoming for me. I want to be able to lay in bed and listen to my favorite songs one more time as I drift into death. hanging feels cold in my mind, no comfort to be offered in the end until you're gone.
I really don't know what method to go for, already struggling to live and then struggling to find a way to die is ironic.

anyone want to share their preferred methods?

Are you referring to the 'peaceful pill handbook'?
haven't heard of that in a while, wow.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Are you referring to the 'peaceful pill handbook'?
haven't heard of that in a while, wow.

You can check that in pinned threads

 

[binjisoya]

Are you referring to the 'peaceful pill handbook'?
haven't heard of that in a while, wow.

yes lol, couldn't remember the name and was too stubborn to check

 

[staticdepression]

I've been on top of tall buildings so many times that I've lost count
I've been walking around beaches and bridges
I've walked close to highways and train tracks
I've tied the knots and put them around my neck
In all cases I've failed to jump. It's too scary for me.

I even cut myself a little and it was too painful (maybe bc I was high af)
I tried CO with charcoal but it was suffocating me so I ditched the room. Other time I tried heater without ventilator but the room got way too hot so I aborted lol.

I'd choose hard drugs or strong painkillers but I can't find neither of them here.

So I finally ordered SN. drinking something salty doesn't feel scary. Painkillers and meto will help with the discomfort.

LIVING IS WAY MORE PAINFUL THAN SN.
sn is the closest thing we can get to n that is easily accessible.
There's also Cyanide that is quick but I've heard it's very painful.