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R

RURIRA

Member
May 30, 2024
27
10 Honestly, I don't think anything happening now can prevent me from ctbing tomorrow, unless I somehow receive a tremendous amount of money in my bank account (btw it's totally unlikely to happen)
 
lovedread

lovedread

hell is other people
Jan 2, 2020
213
7/8. I know if I don't get help asap im gonna end up taking my own life soon
 
SchizoGymnast

SchizoGymnast

Student
May 28, 2024
112
I have two approaches to this: one rates my feelings and the other rates my level of intent.

My level of suicidal ideation is probably at a six right now. My intent to die? Right now is a 2.
 
ImTelling

ImTelling

Sad Doggo
May 27, 2024
177
Definitely a high 7. I'm very confident I'll CTB before my birthday but at the same time I cannot say that I am desperate for release as soon as possible.

If I had a gun I would do it today but I don't, so waiting for a more realistic method is what I'll have to do.
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
It varies day to day,i'm not sure where it's at currently I'm having to much emotional pain and trauma and worry to even think about suicide currently but perhaps 4 rn? But it certainly goes around 8 alot of the time
 
totheendofinfinity

totheendofinfinity

Trust in my self righteous suicide
May 26, 2024
47
10, it's all I think about.
 
H

HopeToStay

Member
May 31, 2024
80
About a 6 atm, but it's entirely dependent on some medical outcomes. If everything recovers then it'll go back down to the baseline 2. But if it's as bad as i fear it is, then it's genuinely going to be hard to see what the point of continuing my life is.
 
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Reactions: lovedread
C

CantDoIt

Elementalist
Jul 18, 2024
874
7 Or 8.
Not a lot of about what I want to do but I'm nervous and waiting to see if I can get N and Benzos. I'm also working through it.
 
enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
383
Today, I'm at 2, which is a bit lower than usual. I'm so sick of being sick. But I'm feeling a little better today.
 
Oblivion

Oblivion

Wizard
Aug 2, 2018
631
It's always been 10 since more than 20 years, but the courage and the iron will to do it had always been zero, i'm stuck in a literal nightmare with agony and torment day and night and i still can't do it. i wish someone can do it for me, this should be a fucking human right.
 
kilowatt

kilowatt

Odour of Torture
Sep 9, 2023
381
How sure I am of wanting to CTB would be an easy 10, but how much I'm determined to do it in this moment is probably around a 7.
 
Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Господи помилуй — мир в Україні!
Sep 7, 2018
690
Maybe 2.5 -- ctb is a someday thing for me: too much to get done before I can think of dying.
 
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Reactions: vinlander
vinlander

vinlander

ctb next winter
Aug 28, 2024
33
A solid 8, school and close friends always crossing my mind through out the day but i would still ctb at any given moment
 
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Reactions: ThatStateOfMind
O

Onelessstraw

Member
Aug 21, 2024
27
About an 8, if I had the tools for a pain free way out I'd do it but I don't
 
let.me.let.go87

let.me.let.go87

Trying to recover now
Jul 12, 2024
288
7 but I think I'm kidding myself when I tell doctors and everyone else I'm doing better. I've been trying to fake it til I make it guess. Today already started off bad
 
Gstreater

Gstreater

Student
Aug 10, 2024
154
7 I've slowly been slipping more if nothing changes soon I'll probably find a way to CTB
 
S

Syrka

Member
Aug 27, 2024
14
6
By the way this is my first message. Thanks for the forum. I feel identified with everyone.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: BobSmoked
max_vader2

max_vader2

Member
Aug 27, 2024
27
10', I have anhedonia/ cant feel pleasure. on top of that o have a constant sense of impending doom
I also had anhedonia. Doc gave me bupropion, which helps a lot (dopamine retake inhibitor)

It does nothing for the sadness or my incapacity to project my self in the future. But at least I get to enjoy playing with my kids
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: S like Siren
T

Thisisnotaname

Arcanist
Aug 27, 2024
427
Before first attemp I throught I was on the hightest side of this rating but few attempt later I think I'm at 6/7. The last act is fukin hard to do so when you attempted many times and can't do it, you're not really suicidal as you think but near tbh
 
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Reactions: AmIForReal and S like Siren
Nothing87

Nothing87

Goodbye
Jun 5, 2024
83
10. I can kill myself anytime and I am ready to die but my responsibilities and duties are the ones keeping me alive.