6,5. Since college started my depression and anxiety got so much worse. I was able to fall asleep yesterday without addictive medication which was a success.
The bipolar woman I texted is annoyed by my negativity. There are many things I could say about her. I was there for her when she felt bad and she did not the same for me. I increasingly dislike her. Still I like to message her. I could better talk to her when she was delusional. And if past patterns repeat she will be delusional relatively soon.
In the college self-help group there are so many people with better life quality. I envy them. And I am scared how people judge me in real life. Especially at college.
I am just a bitter, resentful, lonely and deeply unhappy person.
However I am so fucking glad to have this forum. It is the best place to vent.
My best friends were overwhelmed by my need to express myself combined with the severe daily suffering.
My dad is often also overburdened. I rarely talk openly with my mom on how much I struggle since her stroke. I opened up to my grandma some months ago about my pain and well she was shocked.