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angeldust

angeldust

Yearning
Aug 16, 2023
11
1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.
9.5
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

Death is white, not darkness.
Apr 17, 2023
3,229
I can't put a number to pain. I always tell doctors the same and that it hurts and I need morphine...even for minor things.
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
839
9.9998… highest ever. I'm pretty calm tho. I've accepted this is what my existence is & that I will die soon, as that's what's best & just how my existence played out.
 
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AJwantsToGo

AJwantsToGo

♡ Your Average Bad Person ♡
Feb 24, 2023
40
For me it varies daily, or even hourly. It has happened before where I was at a ten, it's like being in a trance. Any method nearby I'm ready to try- which is very dangerous as it is likely I'll survive. Most of the time I range between 4-7. So I constantly think about it, plan methods etc.
 
A

AlwaysAnhedonia

Penchant for excess
Dec 14, 2021
192
9 I don't see a way out . Addiction is destroying me. I can't sleep. I want to die
 
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cheese.out

cheese.out

Why am I still here
Jul 25, 2023
200
For the last few weeks it was maybe a 3 but today is just fucked so i would say 8.5
 
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ddn.ctb

ddn.ctb

Waiting to step off in front of an audience
Sep 9, 2023
236
7 and on the rise
 
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the_widow

the_widow

Member
Sep 9, 2023
7
Maintaining a solid 9-10, as I have for the last 31 days. I had full intentions of ctb last night. The date of yesterday was symbolic to me and I had entire weekend completely alone. I was rudely interrupted without notice by a "friend" of my late husband. A whole slew of emotions have stemmed from that in itself.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,462
7-8
 
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Pyxel

Pyxel

Sleepy
Sep 10, 2023
46
6, Often find myself wandering negatively without a solid distraction.
 
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mindless_imp

mindless_imp

lost but not found
Sep 9, 2023
24
1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.
anywhere between a 5-7. I'm definitely not the most suicidal - judging by people on this website /lh - but it's not normal to have it as much as I do
 
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Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
About 6. Yesterday it was at 9.
 
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afraid

afraid

I might just be able to feel pain the last time
Aug 4, 2023
20
Probably about 7 or 8. I feel so stressed out about everything lately. I feel like it's going to get a lot worse in a few months from now on
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
8 right now. It was 10 in the morning because I woke up.
 
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S

SlowlyFalling

Member
Apr 4, 2023
14
7-8 it's not so much that I want to ctb, but my depression is at an all time high and I want it to stop
 
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passivethought121

passivethought121

Student
Jun 11, 2023
303
I'd say I'm at a 5. For me, a 10 is right before trying to CTB, and an 8 is being visibly distressed that I can't.
 
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Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Malpractice: NeuroDystrophy-Paralysis-Meds-Injured
Sep 27, 2022
3,640
10
 
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M

manuel1056x

-
Sep 9, 2023
61
Sometimes it's about 5, but often, especially at night it's at 8 or 9
 
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Minsu

Minsu

Suicidal korean girl 🇰🇷🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
387
3-4
 
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Minsu

Minsu

Suicidal korean girl 🇰🇷🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
387
10/10. I'm having a very bad day, I've been thinking about suicide almost every single minute today
 
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Cloud Busting

Cloud Busting

Formerly pinkribbonscars
Sep 9, 2023
385
5/6

I had an attempt on august 28th. I tossed all my food and donated most of my possessions. Factory reset my laptop and phone too. Racked up a ton of debt and wasted 4k on god knows what. All this reckless shit for nothing because I failed a high lethality method (hanging). I'm knees deep in medical debt due to my failure and uninsured and unemployed. I can't afford to replace all this shit but I at least have enough money for rent for 2-3 months.

I want to fucking die. But I just don't have the gall to attempt anymore. I know exactly why I failed and how I could perfect it next time. I really want to repurchase that rope for real. I cannot will myself to do so however. People think I'd be a bigger burden if I passed away than if I lived having mental breakdowns in their company. It made me rethink.

Tho perhaps they are being selfish to guilt me into living when I went to great lengths to prepare. I'm sure I can rebuild my life but I'm beyond stressed and just wanna die because of everything I did. But I'm trying to recover and breathe. Before my attempt tho I was at 9-10 looool
 
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