Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[gardenofaphrodite]

It was at 8-9 for almost 4 months, it got better a little bit, but I'm back at a solid 8 again. I keep trying to make myself not be this way but I think trying to repress it constantly is making me think about more. I'm not sure what's wrong with me anymore.

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

Currently 7 because I'm in no position mentally or physically to actually go through with it yet

 

[AShipinthedark]

Last week I was at a 3, jumped all the way up to 9, nearly hit 10, fell back down to 7, riding a 6 right now...

 

[Sad Avocado]

I think that right now i'm at 6-7 but in a few days it might change and get up to 9 or even more. There's a thing that could improve my life (the last chance) that if goes wrong I think I won't have much more to carry on for

 

[BlazingBob]

10. I truly don't want to be here. I'm sick and live in a very abusive situation and have nowhere else to go. I just can't abandon these poor dogs I take care of. My life is a living hell.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

10

 

[Dead Ghost]

8

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

I'd say a 4-5. To me that means constantly having suicidal thoughts but having this bit of hope that I can undo the mistake I did and enjoy living again. But then why not just end it anyway cause then nothing matters anymore.

 

[icantSleep]

7 to 8

 

[friendofbirds]

6

 

[KAZ-2Y5]

Depends on the day but if my abusers are being bitches I'm at a 10 for sui and homi. But rn its maybe a 3…4?

 

[Dead Ghost]

8

 

[Allaboutit]

3. I think about how but only in hypotheticals. I feel grounded in my responsibilities.

 

[JustSomeoneOnline]

9 i'd say if 10 is like "i will kill myself right now no matter what" i still have enough common sense to plan properly before it actually happens but yeah, 9 have been for over a month now

 

[Konnsz]

9, Im starting to cut again, even though i got a really deep cut recently that the people i know barely believed

 

[distant stranger]

Last night was a strong 9. Wouldn't say 10. 10 in the past I would act recklessly trying to end it all with anything I could find in my reach. Today is better. Not happy but I'd rather feel nothing then what I usually do.

 

[Dead Ghost]

7

 

[leloyon]

I would say 9, I have a solid plan on how it should be done, full shopping list and everything and would start preparing right now if I could.
Not to worry. Just a little longer and I can start getting things in order.

 

[Dead Ghost]

7<

 

[.seethroughme.]

7

 

[deadtrace]

8, distractions are starting to become less effective than they were earlier in the day. Remembering and focusing on reasons, remembering isolation. Getting worse.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

10

 

[Dead Ghost]

7

 

[.seethroughme.]

A strong 9 today

 

[Praestat_Mori]

currently 5

 

[アホペンギン]

9

 

[noname223]

4,5. I feel pretty fucked up. Extremely exhausted and sad. But for no concrete reason. I am still shocked how this last semester developed and whether the decline will go on like that. I am not sure what to do. I have holidays but so far I could not enjoy it. Maybe one reason for that are the withdrawal symptoms of the addictive medication. I struggle a lot for the fact that I have vacation. I should feel at least a little bit happy during this time period.

I wanted to post a recovery thread today to support other people in recovery. But I am just exhausted and sad. Posting recovery threads while despising myself and my life feels fraudulent to me. But this might be overthinking. I am just sick of feeling like that. My obessive and psychotic thoughts about that woman in college ruined me this semester and I don't know how to stop ruminating about her. I have a lot of nightmares recently. And the last night I had a nightmare about her. I just hate myself. My unfulfiled love life seemingly ruins my functionality. And I am pretty sure I cannot fix my love life. A true miracle had to happen...

 

[wristcutangel]

at a 10 right now. if someone gave me a loaded gun right now i'd shoot at my head without a second thought.

 

[BrokeN__lil’__girl]

Seems like it's been 11 since forever...

 

[sammiechzxv]

6 I guess?