Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[Orange Cat]

8

 

[noname223]

4,5.

Pros:
I like my college courses way more than the ones of the last semester
I texted a college friend again since a long time and we talked more about private stuff, he asked me whether we want to meet

cons: my mom is in a pretty bad health condition I am scared she might die and I would be forced to kill myself soon. There would be no other option for me in this case

I cannot go to the halloween party of my friends due to some private issues, this made me pretty sad

since college started my depression and anxiety got worse. And from time to time I am pretty paranoid

 

[umopep!sdn128]

10. I have reached the lowest point, such a point of no return, when it is no longer possible to change anything, even with all the desire, but there is no desire at all. Now I have lost the ability to cry, worry about anything, feel anything at all. I have absolutely no will, I'm just a prisoner of my addictions. I am a chronic procrastinator and even want to postpone my suicide attempt. I'm just dead inside. I'm like a walking shell of a human, without any emotions or regrets. I used to literally bang my head against the walls, but the antidepressants completely numbed me. Only in the very depths of my soul do I feel complete despair and a desire to commit suicide.

 

[asian.neet]

10 but don't have the physical necessities to do so. all thanks to pro-life family and friends.

i am truly a piece of shit i need to kms.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Usually it's around a 7-10, but today it was closer to around a 5 or 6.

 

[nanaka]

6, I feel like my body is reaching its limits and that it will only worsen in the future and I don't want to be there for that. I'm trying to tire myself to sleep to escape it all and I hope I'll be better tomorrow. If I weren't so sleepy I would probably search for substances to CTB, so it's probably a good thing I'm so tired.

 

[Neogoloid]

10, actively trying to kill myself everyday.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

~9,7
But, I have been living with the intention of suicide for 5 years.
Now I understand that the time has come.

 

[Division Day]

10.

I tried a few days ago and if I had an available method that would work for me I'd go today.

 

[disabledlife]

10+++++

 

[ChiseHatori]

Maybe a 6 or 7? It's hard to put it into a number. It fluctuates a lot for me, I think my baseline is at least a 3 to 5. If I was at a 10, I think that'd be past my SI and I'd just do it.

 

[wiinterfrost]

hmm, i'd say about an 8 or a 9? i'm hoping to ctb in a few days... i'd really like to work

 

[targz]

5. Shout out to my fellow chronic ideators, who've taken things to their logical conclusion and know their destiny, but lack the willpower to manifest it!

 

[iamsofkntired]

Maybe a 5 , idek if I still wanna ctb but it's so focusing

 

[nopointinlivingg]

10. I'm desperate to die, if I had a reliable method I'd be gone by now.

 

[Seered Doom]

7, if I'm being honest

 

[Some place nice]

6 rn

 

[TiredTurtle]

Mine is usually an 7-9 ( actively planning a peaceful method) for days on end then randomly drops to a 3 for few hours.
It's almost like iv fallen into a delusional state where Iv forgotten why I want to ctb, and when I remember I feel it jump to an immediate 10 and I sometimes impulsively attempt or plan a method I usually wouldn't consider.

Right now I'm at a 7

 

[noname223]

6.

Pretty pretty crippling depression currently. I read 30 pages for college it was so fucking hard to finish that. I had big pressure and wanted to take notes. Fuck severe depression is back again. It is very hard to cope with it. Especially compared to me mood of yesterday. Fuck I am in pain. And tomorrow it will be the hardest day of the week. Please please let me die in my sleep. Though instead the health of my mom might be critical if she dies I have to kill myself in a very short time period.
Bro fuck my life.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

10. And yet I am alive.

 

[tiger b]

2.

Best all year.

 

[VioletNebula]

Been fluctuating at a 8-10 all last month :)

 

[finalrequiem]

10 with no chance of it getting better. I've been suicidal damn near 20 years. I have to end it soon.

 

[Engström]

If Iago were judging me while doing an impression of Jafar…

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Today, I would rate myself at a 7. I am apathetic toward life, and I would prefer not to wake up tomorrow. But, I am not so suicidal that I am willing to take direct action at this moment.

 

[trustlovenoone1881]

10 for sure.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

8. I wish I had courage to end this pathetic existence

 

[Freyja13]

Hovering around a six rn. Actively trying to ward them off but I'm tired and I'm just gonna smoke some weed soon and give up. Wish I had some ketamine so I could not feel anything.

 

[Darkover]

(1) i get paid in 25 mins buying a new laptop and red checkered shirt

 

[BlockHammer]

4, still got something to do but depend on my life circumstance probably this rate are going to get higher