Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[scamper]

I would say 9 simply because I don't plan to ctb right now despite having access to a relatively reliable method. I'm very determined to do so on my desired date. The time gap would give me time to begin to "recover" but I don't want that, I know that suicide is right for me.

 

[glowstick bones]

Right now, maybe an 8, not doing too well.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

6

 

[leavingsoon99]

8, with certainty of attempt.

 

[glassskin]

7. I just don't want to be here. Best friend ctbed recently and I wish I could join him, but I'm just too chicken to actually do it.

 

[noname223]

5. I feel pretty fucked up. I am scared of college. It tortures me so much. Lessons began last week.
I fucking hate my life. I need motivation. It makes me so depressed going there. I am really scared this could be the start of another major depressive episode.My concentration is horrible. I feel like a loser for studying part-time but honestly I am very fragile and can't stomach too much stress. I suffer from perfectionism in an extreme magnitude and it torments me.

 

[soontobedone]

8. I don't want to participate in life anymore but the fear of an SN fail is holding me back.

 

[IceQueenMina]

Lately about 7-10. I keep forgetting I have things coming up that I need to do before CTB.

 

[RedCarpet_]

Usually sits at around 6/7 but currently would have to say about 8.

 

[starrvingstar]

i think about it all the time and have a plan even writing my notes in my head probably an 8 since i dont have an urgency to follow through with it

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

7

 

[LocalMistake]

probs around a 7 or so

 

[Unattainable666]

I always think of ctb. It's on my mind constantly. Right this very minute I'm at a 7. Honestly, whenever I think about ctb I become very peaceful. The thought of not dealing with assholes anymore, not feeling anything anymore is so welcoming.

 

[WonderfulWeatherDIE]

9 im set on it. Id drink the SN immediately if I had it right now.

 

[noname223]

5. Pretty depressed. My sleep method worked. Though I am still depressed as fuck. I am scared I could relapse. I feel like I cannot control it anymore. College overwhelmes me I could cry (what I did today) when I see what is ahead of me.

I am fucking anxious. Going to college is like playing Russian roulette for me. I always thought it would backfire. I will take a sleep medication today. But sleep is not my primary issue. I am so frightened. I think I am unable to write long threads. I feel so fucked up. I feel kind of manic and depressed at the same time. Maybe I call my psychiatrist soon.

 

[noname223]

4,5. I feel still pretty depressed maybe a little bit better. There were some good and bad news. My two college friends gave me the biggest boost. I hope the social interactions have a slight positive effect on my mental health. However the complete opposite could also happen.

I am overanalyzing very much: Maybe I am even kind of paranoid. I have weird thoughts. Yesterday I took addictive medication and it really helped. So I will have to play that game again.

 

[CTB Dream]

10, no know wat do

 

[Source Energy]

it's 10 again...

 

[unplug]

10/10

 

[redtruck1]

Stay right at about 8 almost every day, except the one time I attempted and that was a 10

 

[imlookingforward]

feeling like a 9 or 10 for over a month now i think, thoughts of it are in my head every day

 

[palesky]

6 its been fluctuating from like 3-8 lately

 

[charlotte_]

Probably a 6 or 7 for most parts, sometimes 8. My mood varies a lot through different days.

 

[holohound]

Feeling a 7 currently, and life is making it difficult for me to CTB since I can't get that time alone. I would like to leave neatly, it's the least I can do. So I have to prepare that as well but depression makes everything hard.

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

since I came to the conclusion (logically and long ago) that life is pointless and evil I basically blame myself for living? XD so ye, 10/10

 

[heyrabu]

Feeling solid 8 today. I think i missplayed and do something wrong, but i cant do anything to undo it or to fix it. I felt like i betray the trust of my friend and mental support. I felt like i dont really want to be here anymore. But i'm too tired to try CTB anymore, at least for today. I just want to sleep and rest. Goodnight.

 

[orca87]

Today was weird. The opposite of the other days.
I woke up surprisingly ok, and it got worse during the day.
Normally, it goes from 9 in the morning to 7 in the evening, today it went from 1 to 9

 

[BroodingBleu]

7.5, trying to hold out a morsel of hope for change but not expectant.

 

[Catastrofe]

I would give a 8, rarely 7, sometimes 10.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

As of 10-15 minutes ago: 8.5/10.