Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[darkness_]

My suicide thoughts have been at a 9 for about two consecutive weeks. The method I've come up with for killing myself is by driving my car into a wall at full speed but everytime I get close to hitting the wall I chicken out. I think my biggest fear is I fail and I have to live with said failure. I'll find the strength eventually just trying to make sure I don't fail

 

[brokenpersi]

it changes like a carousel. last week it was 2, now it's 8

 

[LaVieEnRose]

10.00001

 

[brokenpersi]

10 - have panic attack

 

[arcadia]

Up to a 9.

 

[noname223]

4. Lower suicidality. But strong mood swings accompanied with paranoia. Cried a lot. I try to reduce the addictive medication. I could sleep very well last night with a lower dosage.

But a certain incident and probably heavy overthinking is fucking with me.

 

[Ultracheese]

It's an 8 right now. My health has been awful and I'm in constant pain, both physical and emotional, most of the time.

 

[missingpeace]

Constantly thinking about it, so a 9.5..

 

[noname223]

Low suicidality 3. Though I barely slept without the z-medication. I read in several days the physical withdrawal symptoms are gone. I try to sleep without it again today. But if I get again like 4 hours sleep I take one tomorrow it is too risky.

 

[noname223]

I wonder why noone used this thread in the meantime. Slept horribly. My suicidality is low like a 2-3. But I am feeling quite manic. I am scared of addiction but I took one (half) benzo. I hope weaning from the addictive pills was successful. I think addiction would ruin my life completely. But completely without them it is very very difficult to stay stable with the brain that I have.

 

[Challu]

7. Anime, vidya games, and porn are not distracting me like it used to..

 

[heyrabu]

I almost forgot this thread exist,
Today i felt like 7

 

[epic]

6

 

[LT1989]

I'm about an 8 or 9 today and have been for a wee while. My life is crumbling around me and I don't care one bit.

 

[Gonnerr]

Today maybe 8 but can't wait to die, i just don't want to be here no more. Im hanging on because i have great friends. Without them i would already be gone.

But at some point maybe months or years, that won't be enough.

 

[trist]

8, i started creating a very detailed plan today

 

[Krobo]

6. Neck pain feels like I've got needles stabbing into my neck like a pincushion, would be higher if the pain weren't interfering with my ability to think lucidly

 

[jdog2498]

10. suicide is never the answer according to people who aren't you and who don't give a fuck about you

 

[Escapee]

6. Neck pain feels like I've got needles stabbing into my neck like a pincushion, would be higher if the pain weren't interfering with my ability to think lucidly

I am really sorry I understand ur feeling. But you are lucky compared to me I am suffering head to toe 24/7 unable to rest for a minute. I rate it 10+

 

[7@vuse99]

1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.

Today? 7-9

 

[sadjenny]

Solid 8 rn. I just got out of an emergency psych appointment and was a little too honest with my therapist, and they called my sister (my emergency contact). I narrowly escaped grippy sock jail. I am so stupid, when will I learn to shut my mouth?

 

[maybemonday]

I think I am around a four today. I fantasized about my death and have thinking of many methods. Everytime I cross the street I think of jumping infront of traffic and everytime I go to my grandparents I think about jumping off their balcony. But at the same time I want a future, I want to try at least. I have accepted the fact that I will be lonely and sad forever but I want to help people.

 

[BroodingBleu]

Probably an 8.5, which is ironic given the fact some things are getting a little better in my life.

 

[Time&Regret]

About a 3 or 4

 

[Mimi_]

8-9 today is awful, the damn nutritionist made me more suicidal after the consultation. Wish i could ctb right now.

 

[SatouR]

1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.

I would say that I'm more stable at the moment.
6-7

 

[figtree]

7.5 right now

 

[Salvation_]

7

 

[groucho]

I idle around 6-7 but definitely rev-up to 9-10 at least once a week and that can last days. At 9 today.

 

[chr74]

7-8 usually, goes down low sometimes (2-4) but then i think about stuff and back up she goes!