Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[Heavenbound]

I say 5.
I've been crying all day, in emotional and physical pain

 

[brainkiller]

8/10. tonight has been mega rough.

 

[CTB Fella]

100.

 

[Unattainable666]

8-9 Ready.

 

[Timeless]

9+ ready to leave this place but now I can't go cause of my mom who's also dying..


Have to help her with regular stuff (groceries painkillers you name it) and after that I'll join her in the afterlife
Or maybe some miracle will happen.. now inhaling some gas that gives cancer.. so I can get euthanasie authorisation..
Playing the long game as long as I can hold it.

My pain is so much declining my life quality

 

[Unattainable666]

9.9 So ready to go. Found out I'll be coming into some money so hopefully I won't have to work two more weeks. I hate my life. My life is worthless. There is no reason for me to be here. THere will never be never mind ... I talk too much.

 

[Dead Ghost]

6<

 

[Mäximum]

10. I hope it ends soon…

 

[Fraggle77]

I'm going through a crisis right now. So 10 for me.

I can relate to this

 

[noname223]

4. I struggle a lot with manic symptoms. So there extreme anxiety spirale begins again. College makes me manic but solely due to addictive medication I can prevent a relapse so far. So here is how the game works: OCD of studying with extreme anxiety to fail an exam, the studying induces manic symptoms which increases my anxiety of another extremely painful relapse, I have to take addictive medication to prevent an episode and so I also am scared as fuck to become an addict. So you see my life is pretty fucked up. Though I think the potential addiction is the least dangerous thing. When I hear how other people use adddictive medication my usage is less dangerous. However it became very questionable the last semester. And there are signs it will become almost as bad again. Fuck my life.

 

[azzy]

1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.

6 today:(

 

[StolenLife]

Today it's 10, me and my family are not safe.

 

[leanwimp67]

4-8

 

[goodbye_._]

10, I can't stop thinking about it and I have a plan that I will go through with so a 10

 

[wiltingorchid]

Currently it is a solid 3, but this honestly switches so often per day, this afternoon i felt like a 9.

 

[uletayu]

It is so confusing… Monday I left like a solid 7-8 but then something magical happened that evening which made me feel like a 0 or even lower, as I could not imagine why I was suicidal. The day after that I realised I was deceiving myself and that happiness is just an illusion. Now I am back to 8-9, but I don't have to courage to ctb rn it's so unbelievable that I'm so fragile and that I can be very easily influenced.

 

[nosoul]

6 daytime 9 nighttime

 

[Mortalist]

Currently 0, but I don't need to tell you how that can go from time to time.

Because I am uncertain if this is the right place to novel a very detailed answer, I'm gonna keep it at what I wrote above.

 

[palesky]

currently at 8ish

i cant do anything about it unfortunately

mostly cause i tried yesterday, failed, and now i am hopeless as to if i can use any method (suitable for me) at all

 

[myfutureismyend]

9

 

[noname223]

Feeling pretty fucked up. I ruminate about a lot of paranoid things. There are different things that distract me. This is the biggest struggle of the week. When this part is over everything is easier. I need addictive pills my only help to avoid a relapse. I am anxious as fuck of becoming a junkie. I take since almost two years addictive medication with breaks and in the lowest dosage. It is really a struggle not to become an addict. Though this issue is easier to solve than mania or psychosis. I listen to a lot of Lil Peep and Juice WRLD songs to ease my anxiety of addicition. Lmao. I would not recommend anyone doing this. But I am extremely disciplined and could dodge addiction so far. I play with fire though college is my only opportunity to get a job. Everything else backfired. And poverty will kill me. Well fuck my life.

Suicidal thoughts like 5. But my other mental hell is worse. I struggle to remain productive and this is a real bad sign. Though I also want to avoid panic.

 

[woknows]

9 tilting toward 10

 

[Sparx]

This afternoon I had an extremely strong urge to attempt within the next two weeks, so probably 9.

 

[Dead Ghost]

7

 

[laas]

for me it changes like every day yesterday it was on an 8 today maybe a 3 its just idk

 

[sancsuinet]

i run on a pretty constant like 2? id explain it as a low buzzing thought in the back of my brain all the time, ready for me to engage with it. i feel more like a 3-4 right now, im researching accessible things and on this website lol but im not planning for anytime soon.

 

[NoParanoia]

Yesterday was mild after a string of at least 7s. Just felt tired and empty which doesn't seem to be going anytime soon.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

10

 

[msocks]

Tuesday was 8, Wednesday 7, today 5. My depressive episodes have been much more severe the last year.

Sure I've had the thoughts during each episode. But I haven't actively gone looking for a source and forum for more than a decade. And now I'm back to this state yet again. I've struggled with this shit for 27 years. It's so exhausting to keep fighting. This sucks. I'm so so tired.

 

[soolka]

4-5 today. best day ive had in a while