Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[noname223]

5. Sad and empty. The pressure got less and I have a short break. It is insane when I can take a breath. My life quality in college is hellish. I wonder how I can manage all of this bonecrushing torture/pressure without relapsing. My life is hell and the worst is yet to come.

 

[Anonymus]

6

 

[noname223]

4. Yesterday was pretty insane. I almost crashed some hours ago but gladly I could stop that. The pain yesterday was pretty insane. However the dosage of "manic crashs" were low compared to the aftermath from a completel psychosis. I know why I am already planning to kill myself when that happens. The next weeks will be very bad life quality. The closer to the exams the worse it gets. The pain will be very bad. But the holidays will be great in case I don't relapse. I will have to numb me with medication to prevent that. I am scared to become an addict. Though a psychosis or manic epsisode would be way way worse.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

10 and it will always be a 10 for me until the day I die. I just want to die, honestly. Living is a chore me honestly and I hate everything about it, my mind is consumed with suicide and I have become so obsessed with things related to suicide.

I'm not interested in anything unless it's suicide related, the only thing that can ease my mind sometimes is music but at the back of my mind I will still be thinking about suicide.

Ps - The only thing that brings me comfort is the fact I that I feel like I have found my ideal method to complete ctb and that will be soon once I get everything in place and also this site is my comfort zone. I don't know what I would have done without it, the resources, the support and minds that think alike is everything to me. You are my tribe …

 

[pompompurin]

Ever since I got a new job im around 5, half of my day I literally don't think about anything

 

[ayaneechan]

Actually 9
If i reach 10 its time for me to CTB

 

[Vizzy]

Scale is broken!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

currently 9 these days

 

[sensation86]

Well, on the one hand I must say that if I were lucky enough to have an atomic bomb fall on me I would say thank you and consider myself extremely lucky.
I mean, I'd love to disappear.
But if I must rate the current desire to commit suicide, the truth is that they are not very high.
I can't find the courage or the bravery to do it despite suffering desperately.
So a 2-3.
My limit to endure suffering is too high.
I wish it was much smaller.
My nervous system is completely screwed up and broken.
I can't function.
I take 12mg lorazepam daily.That's insane but I am addicted to for more than 20 years and I don't see how I will overcome this addiction.

 

[Jule_from_Germany]

3.5
Still not sure if I really want to ctb, though I know that the time will come when it will be close to 10

 

[jemetire]

7

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

10+

Trapped by inhumane gatekeeper after 2x failed ODs with zero SI … I was on my way home

 

[Sapphire]

9

 

[lawlietsph]

9, but I definitely reach 10 when I have a mental breakdown or someone hurts me

 

[Whyami]

10 in theory, but the practice still scares me a lot so 8 for now. Anyway I have to be there until early July but after that, nothing makes me want to stay here anymore.

 

[hells "angel"]

1 is very low suicidality, 10 is very extreme acute suicidality. I miss the old thread (which is deleted) that is way I want to revive him.

My suicidal thoughts today are a 4. I have some distractions and responsibilities which prevent more of these thoughts.

6-7 although I'm actually not doing that bad I just want to die. I don't have plans to commit today though. Just wanna be no longer, as always.

 

[kionu09]

4 today in general 9. due to some pills i guess

 

[Galaxie76]

9-10

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

It's always anywhere between 7-10. Right now, it is a 8.

 

[BlazingBob]

10. I want out of this prison. I've suffered enough

 

[Tikialia]

I'd say 5 since I'm conflicted a bit. I want to recover but at the same time I keep scrolling through the online market looking for the quick ticket to death. Yet, after rethinking my choices.. my life is not really that bad? It has huge ups and downs so sometimes I want to give it a try. This evening is definitely a 5.

 

[Owl_07]

8-10, actually not many days left

 

[S u i c i d e]

100

 

[DystopianWorld94]

Somewhere between 7 and 10, so pretty high, but I'm able to hold it back because of my mental resilience and strength.

 

[stermc]

9+

 

[Anonymus]

7-8

 

[stillmirenai]

7.5 - 8, although sometimes I get a very extreme urge to do something stupid like jumping in front of a car.

 

[Baron]

6-7 I still have some responsibilities and activities that drive me to live, but I understand that in the end everything you do has no meaning or importance and your just better off dead anyway.

 

[Konnsz]

6, but in 1 month it will be 9, again.

 

[murkylake]

probably a 6 today