Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[nopride86]

I'm feeling so different right now. I've been at an 8ish for a long time. I feel something different inside me clicking. I turned 30, and my endurance for everything….being trapped in the capitalist machine, being trapped by toxic family….it just ended.

I feel like something is going to happen. There's a tightness paired with the regular void, I think I might be slipping a little. And honestly? I'm kind of excited about it. I'm wondering if it's my SI chipping away, I wonder if I'm going to make a plan and see it through. I wonder if I'm not, and will become one of those people running naked on the highway, to be tackled and locked away. Something feels different. Am I inching closer to 10? The anticipation is killing me (hah).

 

[KrowaKovsky]

I've been feeling a little better, sitting at a solid 4 lately.

 

[nightshade00]

I'm at about a 6. Still suicidal, but not gonna do it in the next couple of weeks at least.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Today Im at a 6.

 

[yukan]

today is a 7

 

[xanga]

8 Today trying to meet new people x)

 

[TapeMachine]

I'd been coasting along at about a 1-2 for a few weeks; but now I'm sitting here with this heavy feeling in my chest and an uncomfortable energy in my stomach, and somehow I'm at an 8-9 now.

 

[noname223]

3 low suicidal thought. Though very paranoid analyzing and ruminating. It already is as severe that it decreases my productivity. And when it gets that bad the shit is pretty serious. I think about things healthy people spend 10 seconds 10 hours instead. I texted my friends with a very huge analysis about my paranoia. The analysis of my paranoia was not paranoid. But some other messages were. It is pretty difficult not to lose the grip to reality. I am not sure why it is currently that severe and I don't know what could help. I already tried a lot of shit. I tend to analyze many things way too often. Though some topics are more toxic than others. And the current topic is very damaging.

The stress in college is probably one reason. The only topic which lets my brain melt even more are love interests. Fuck my life I will die lonely.

 

[GoLD_75]

As of today, I'll give it a 6 or 7

 

[shutupanddrive]

yesterday i had a breakdown and it was around 8 or 9
today i think 6 or 7

 

[PreCambrianBliss]

Maybe 6. I'm not ctbing soon, but I'm really taking steps to plan ahead for it. I'm absolutely unable to see myself living a life where I don't kill myself

 

[knux]

8-9. Lowest I've ever felt.

 

[rêve]

It's a 1 for me, because I basically blocked out the thought of being suicidal. It is simply not a viable choice for me (I'm talking about myself)

 

[noname223]

4. My main problem is I have strong manic symptoms. I took my emergency medication the last days and it did not work. Tomorrow I have to wake up early and this is pure poison for my mental stability. The college schedule makes me ill. I am desperate. I am very anxious. Though the benzo helps against that currently. I am scared of a relapse I gonna kill myself then. My psychiatrist argumented in favor of increasing the addictive medication. I am scared of becoming an addict. I am in an hellish position. My consciousness is a torture chamber and the pressure is crushing me. I think my life quality is abysmal. I won't survive another breakdown. It gonna be pretty difficult to kill myself due to the fact I live with my family.

I think the manic symptoms are way more dangerous than the psychotic ones. Fuck my life.

 

[MusicEnjoyer:D]

Around 8 today. Waiting for my SN to arrive :)

 

[Escapee]

No doubt
10++++

 

[savoytruffle]

7/10 feeling defeated deflated why why can't i just go for it again

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

moderate 5 today

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

No doubt
10++++

Same

 

[silence of death]

difficult to say, if i had a way to do it right now i would do it, but i don't think about it all day like i used to
so maybe a 3

 

[Alltheywanted]

It's always never less than a 6, because these thoughts are pretty always with me and there is no hour without them.

 

[leftdreaming]

6 rn. I seem to hit 8-9 daily tho

 

[unnormal9]

10

 

[CatTheBus5689]

7

I just don't care.

 

[imcurious]

6-9, most days at 6. Having the ability to die if I really want to is mostly used to comfort myself

 

[Kerrtu]

9.5

 

[ImsooDone1N]

9.25

 

[Praestat_Mori]

7-8

 

[Aliceinborderline]

5

 

[spøgelse]

8.