Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,387
-
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littlelungs
Wizard
- Oct 21, 2018
- 646
Drunk. In pain. This body and brain simply cannot coexist. My personality is literally diseased. I'm an embarrassment to this species.
It can feel strange to reminisce and realise certain problems we identify as having now were present even when we were very young. I consider age 10 to be my start of the major problems in life, being exposed to a (suspected) narcissist.
However, I do remember a birthday prior to that. Not sure how old. Perhaps 7. But, I remember feeling like I should be happy but, I really wasn't. Maybe that was the start of social anxiety because, it was during a party. I felt like- I know I ought to be grateful because my family had organised it but really, I just wanted to be left alone.
However, I do remember a birthday prior to that. Not sure how old. Perhaps 7. But, I remember feeling like I should be happy but, I really wasn't. Maybe that was the start of social anxiety because, it was during a party. I felt like- I know I ought to be grateful because my family had organised it but really, I just wanted to be left alone.
cassie
•
- Jul 19, 2020
- 39
Holy shit, this will take forever
Sakura.
Nienawidzę siebie.
- May 1, 2024
- 107
I really hate myself...
With every passing second, I feel more and more terrible...
I can't bear it anymore...
With every passing second, I feel more and more terrible...
I can't bear it anymore...
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 404
I want to be free. No bad feeling anymore. Escape from his body with it scars - inside and outside. No longer regret so much stuff :/.
Sleep and not gonna wake up anymore.
Sleep and not gonna wake up anymore.
Griever
SN
- May 1, 2025
- 462
One member online and 62 guests. I think this forum has a BOTS/DDOS problem
Pluto
Cat Extremist
- Dec 27, 2020
- 5,292
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 404
I saw the netherlands movie young hearts. A real movie diamond but now my head is spinning...
I want my childhood back from the assholes who robbed it.
Made so much wrong decisions....wtf...
Maybe some benzo now....fuck this cruel planet.
I want my childhood back from the assholes who robbed it.
Made so much wrong decisions....wtf...
Maybe some benzo now....fuck this cruel planet.
bankai
Visionary
- Mar 16, 2025
- 2,090
I've seen a couple of posts by some users and even a moderator recommending users to change their password.
Also, the site gets wonky from time to time. I'm not sure what that's about
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 404
I needed to watch it a second time. Regular I need a year or more to have a re-view.
But I'm still an mental earthquake.
That was so wonderful that my SN in the shelf is screaming for me. I wanted to use it but im scared and I hate vomiting. I'm an idiot.
This movie kicked my mind out. Just want to quiet myself and my soul. Fuck.
Sakura.
Nienawidzę siebie.
- May 1, 2024
- 107
Sakura.
Nienawidzę siebie.
- May 1, 2024
- 107
I really can't take it anymore...
Everything is just too much for me...
Why do I have to endure all this..?
Everything is just too much for me...
Why do I have to endure all this..?
Seaghost
Arcanist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 404
cassie
•
- Jul 19, 2020
- 39
patheticparasite
What's it all for?
- Feb 21, 2025
- 71
OvercastingClouds
☆ ✧ The Lurker ✧☆
- Jul 5, 2025
- 34
I miss the SPAM thread. Does anyone want to start a campaign #bringbackSPAMthread ?
Actually, I think the thread could theoretically be brought back.
Actually, I think the thread could theoretically be brought back.
Me and my therapist split. This was some drama. She blamed me for it. I need her help though for continuing therapy with a different therapist. I could not burn bridges. She blamed me for not having handed in a certain anamnesis paper. I was pretty sure I gave it to her. She pretended the opposite and insisted on it. Before I wanted to go I asked in a very polite way to look or it again. And well suddently she found it. Well, I still have the feeling she is really incompetent. Maybe I need to continue therapy with her if this is the only option.
The auto translate function on Youtube is complete garbage. The AI voice (in German) is horrendous and there needs to be an option to turn it off completely and forever. Currently, I have to do this on every single video.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,452
Sn0wy0wl
Member
- Jun 28, 2025
- 15
And writing with one that leaves a trace would have some meaning?
I doubt it.
The Morningstar
Be absolute. Be yourself, until you bleed.
- May 4, 2025
- 405
Grey Worm
New Member
- Nov 15, 2024
- 3
i feel so conflicted when im around people, outside of the few close to me. part of me hates it & another part is ok with it. just constantly both feelings at once
I came across the terrifying story of the serial killer H H. Holmes- who would murder people and then sell their skeletons to medical training schools (in the 1800's.)
It got me to thinking about the (thanfully) plastic versions medical students use today. I imagine they were still cast from the mould of a real skeleton. An average man and woman I guess. I wonder if they agreed to that specifically. I wonder if they just donated their body to scientific research. Strange to think your bones could be immortalised in plastic for hundreds of students to see.
A bit like that Body Worlds exhibition. Even though it's obviously consensual, it still feels a bit weird/ disrespectful to me in a way. Maybe I'll make a separate post on it...
It got me to thinking about the (thanfully) plastic versions medical students use today. I imagine they were still cast from the mould of a real skeleton. An average man and woman I guess. I wonder if they agreed to that specifically. I wonder if they just donated their body to scientific research. Strange to think your bones could be immortalised in plastic for hundreds of students to see.
A bit like that Body Worlds exhibition. Even though it's obviously consensual, it still feels a bit weird/ disrespectful to me in a way. Maybe I'll make a separate post on it...
Grog
Be good to yourself.
- Jun 3, 2025
- 265
plan c
My last resort.
- Nov 8, 2022
- 158
Therapy is like doing integral. There's always the list of techniques, in which sth. could work on some problems, yet none is guaranteed to work on my problem, or just any problem.
It was traumatizing indeed, but I somehow miss the days of covid19 pandemic. Everyone had to slow down at that time, which made me somehow able to catch up with the pace of life of ppl around me.
I have to record my sleeping phases. Have to keep it up for at least one complete cycle. But I can hardly pull that off. Everything that has to be done regularly or daily are just too difficult for me. Now I'm completely screwed.
When I learned astrophysics, I discovered that the motions of celestial bodies can indeed affect lots of things around us, like seasons and tides, so there are reasons for the ancient ppl to believe, that celestial bodies could somehow affect everything. As of now, for majority of ppl, the same thing is happening to AI.
It was traumatizing indeed, but I somehow miss the days of covid19 pandemic. Everyone had to slow down at that time, which made me somehow able to catch up with the pace of life of ppl around me.
I have to record my sleeping phases. Have to keep it up for at least one complete cycle. But I can hardly pull that off. Everything that has to be done regularly or daily are just too difficult for me. Now I'm completely screwed.
When I learned astrophysics, I discovered that the motions of celestial bodies can indeed affect lots of things around us, like seasons and tides, so there are reasons for the ancient ppl to believe, that celestial bodies could somehow affect everything. As of now, for majority of ppl, the same thing is happening to AI.
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EvisceratedJester
|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
- Oct 21, 2023
- 5,014
Don't know why, but I've been thinking a lot about The Dogs by Allan Stratton a lot for the past few days. I even reread the book (I have a copy of it). It's just as good as I remembered it to be. I also find that the book often pops up in my head now whenever I listen to the Country Teasers. It turns out they made a movie adaptation of it, but based on the trailer, it looks like crap. It seems like they were trying to lean more on the horror side, even though the book felt more like a psychological thriller/mystery with paranormal elements. Along with that, the trailer made the movie seem like the dogs are the antagonists, even though the main antagonists are Cameron's father and, maybe, Frank McTavish.
The main appeal of the book was getting to read about Cameron trying to grapple with his mental health, past trauma, complicated relationship, and views of his abusive father, straining relationship with his mother, and the constant loneliness he feels. He's had to move 5 times, due to his mother's paranoia over his father finding them, resulting in him not being able to make proper long-lasting friendships, and having to constantly lie to those around him (e.g., pretending to be happy during their weekly phone calls with his grandparents, having to lie about what about his current situation to curious classmates, etc). Along with that, he also grapples with regular nightmares, flashbacks to traumatic memories from early childhood, paranoia, etc. He witnessed his mother and father fighting a lot when he was younger and his father used to abuse her. You also get to see how he relates his memories and experiences to those of Jacky McTavish, the 10-year-old ghost who used to live in the farmhouse they moved into back in the 1960s, experiences. The book largely revolves around Cameron trying to find out what happened to both Jacky and his mother, with him suspecting that they may have been murdered by Frank McTavish, Jacky's father.
Anyways, that is enough of me blabbing on about this book I rediscovered my love for. I loved it back when I first read in middle school (enough to buy a copy for myself) and I still love it now.
The main appeal of the book was getting to read about Cameron trying to grapple with his mental health, past trauma, complicated relationship, and views of his abusive father, straining relationship with his mother, and the constant loneliness he feels. He's had to move 5 times, due to his mother's paranoia over his father finding them, resulting in him not being able to make proper long-lasting friendships, and having to constantly lie to those around him (e.g., pretending to be happy during their weekly phone calls with his grandparents, having to lie about what about his current situation to curious classmates, etc). Along with that, he also grapples with regular nightmares, flashbacks to traumatic memories from early childhood, paranoia, etc. He witnessed his mother and father fighting a lot when he was younger and his father used to abuse her. You also get to see how he relates his memories and experiences to those of Jacky McTavish, the 10-year-old ghost who used to live in the farmhouse they moved into back in the 1960s, experiences. The book largely revolves around Cameron trying to find out what happened to both Jacky and his mother, with him suspecting that they may have been murdered by Frank McTavish, Jacky's father.
Anyways, that is enough of me blabbing on about this book I rediscovered my love for. I loved it back when I first read in middle school (enough to buy a copy for myself) and I still love it now.
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