Random thoughts

[lost illusions]

I love it haha, finally some rain! We need it so bad with the fires

True yall need the rain, if nothing else but calm the smoke down. The high moisture plays hell on my lungs though

 

[Lizzie S.]

True yall need the rain, if nothing else but calm the smoke down. The high moisture plays hell on my lungs though

Oh yeah that sucks :(( Idk if there are machines that would help with that?

 

[Roulette]

I've always wondered if I should seek help for things, but awhile ago my parents got a call from the hospital about my sister's health condition (she didn't answer their call) so my parents got notified of her condition. I thought doctor-patient confidentiality was perfectly secure ... but I lost faith in that.

And the worst part is that there's a massive influx of people coming to give their ~cares~ ... gee, I wonder how they found out? It's disgusting that my parents would spread this, and not only that they blamed it on something so stupid.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I want to be with my daughter. She's in a perfect place.

 

[Help_Me]

Locked myself in a bathroom. Just to spend some time alone.. I need lights turned off and deadly silence.

 

[blueming]

I am just so done with people.

 

[Jane Doe]

I miss my husband

 

[lv-gras]

feeling kinda ugh and close to done

 

[Jane Doe]

feeling kinda ugh and close to done

Same

 

[OkTotti]

i haven't left my apartment in 2 days....i feel like I'm in self imposed house arrest...

 

[24 Hour Store]

All the friends I ever had are gone

 

[jaemus12]

I have come to realize that I am just sitting here wasting time and space.

I serve no purpose.

Fuck I need to die.

 

[sólstafir]

Living dead here! :PPP : ) ) listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird and can't feel shit. Everyone who consider themselves human should be feeling something listening to this masterpiece, this is just...fuck. You know how much power behind this guitar playing actually is and you're so numb that you can't appreciate, much less feel it. Life doesn't touch me anywhere anymore. Numbness is the shittiest fuel for suicide too, you just can't give a fuck anymore. I wonder what they will be talking about me at funeral, eh?

 

[Amira]

I need to CTB and leave this world for good. I'm tired of hoping that tomorrow will be a better day because it just feels like it is getting worse. It's like I am always trapped in a bundle of knots coming from different directions. Every time I try to free my self from one knot , I find myself in another.How long will I live my life trying to set myself free from a swarm of traps that was created from making stupid decisions. I lay awake all night on this forum hoping that i could find a solution to end this nightmare of a life. But I don't trust my own judgement anymore because every choice I make always hurts me or others in the end. My past memories are only filled with many regrets. I'm the girl who has always lived in the past.I have no present or future because my life is like cycle of past events playing over and over again. Yet I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. To the point where I can put my hand up and say I'm a very irresponsible , ungrateful , selfish and delusional person. Every opportunities I had , I ignored and hoped for something better. But , I always got something far worse. I am either overly pessimistic or overly unrealistic. As a christian I felt like my relationship with God was like my relationship with life. Never consistant. I'm a headless human roaming around earth confused, empty and lost. I can never find myself. My future feels like a fog at first. A fog of uncertainty and hope. But i soon realise it's the damn thing as my past. A cyclical chain of regrets and self hatred. This because I always refused let go of my past. It will always haunt me. Ironically , now it seems as if CTB is going make me become nothing but a past memory to my loved ones and to life. Nothing but a past victim of failure on earth. My soul hurts and yearns for peace. Peace that I am yet to find on earth. I pray I can find that in death.

 

[Miss clefable]

I need to end my existence I'm going to hang I want to dress beautifully and let my doll like body swing in the gentle wind with pink blossom from the tree I have chosen to die from please bury me and don't let this tree be a tree of sadness but let her bloom because now she's truly beautiful and full of happiness

 

[Letting Go]

You know your weekend was shit when you spent most of the time jumping from depressing website to depressing website -- and the rest of the time drunk or hungover.

Yet, if people at work ask me how my weekend went tomorrow morning, I'll probably say "good" or some variation of that.

 

[Xerxes]

I'm tired of hoping for love or be treated with love. It's better for me if she treated me with hate, especially on days where she's annoyed or mad at me which is often. Hate me always, don't love me.

 

[Trashcan]

I might do it tomorrow. I've cried at least 3 times this past week (and I rarely cry). I've just been getting pushed over the edge more and more. I think that tomorrow, I might be at the point where I can overcome my survival instinct. I just need to find a hotel.

 

[voool]

I might do it tomorrow. I've cried at least 3 times this past week (and I rarely cry). I've just been getting pushed over the edge more and more. I think that tomorrow, I might be at the point where I can overcome my survival instinct. I just need to find a hotel.

Do you have enough money for one?

 

[Trashcan]

Do you have enough money for one?

Yes. Payday was recently.

 

[Xerxes]

I might do it tomorrow. I've cried at least 3 times this past week (and I rarely cry). I've just been getting pushed over the edge more and more. I think that tomorrow, I might be at the point where I can overcome my survival instinct. I just need to find a hotel.

I stayed in a Courtyard Marriot hotel over the holidays. Housekeeping comes around 9am, but if you put a do not disturb sign outside, they never visit or knock. Also shower fixtures, rod, and doors are extremely sturdy. Bed is really comfortable and nice. If you book 2 weeks in advance, you can get some decent deals, especially on a weekday.

 

[worldexploder]

When I first came out as an atheist, I asked my uncle if he had any evidence for the existance of God. So he told me this story about going to Wendy's and ordering food. When they took it home, missionaries showed up before they got to open the bag. My aunt and uncle were very hungry. The missionaries stayed for about 30 mins and when they left, THE FOOD WAS STILL WARM! My aunt and uncle both interpreted it as a sign from god.

My response - "you want me to believe that God allows for over 10,000 children to die each day from starvation yet kept food warm for a well to do family with a working microwave just because they let missionaries stay for a while?"

 

[Roulette]

Guess it's time to write a personal statement for a college application
It's making me anxious, since I've always been told that my sentence structure is terrible & I'm doing this all on my own

 

[Trashcan]

I stayed in a Courtyard Marriot hotel over the holidays. Housekeeping comes around 9am, but if you put a do not disturb sign outside, they never visit or knock. Also shower fixtures, rod, and doors are extremely sturdy. Bed is really comfortable and nice. If you book 2 weeks in advance, you can get some decent deals, especially on a weekday.

Thank you. I plan to do it the same night I check in. I am thinking of tomorrow, but I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow. I want to make sure I can actually overcome that pesky survival instinct.

 

[voool]

Thank you. I plan to do it the same night I check in. I am thinking of tomorrow, but I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow. I want to make sure I can actually overcome that pesky survival instinct.

What do you think is worse. Parents desperate to find you for a few hours for them just finding you dead.

 

[Trashcan]

What do you think is worse. Parents desperate to find you for a few hours for them just finding you dead.

They have me on some phone tracker thing. They'll know where I am. I also told them I might check into a hotel to take a mini vacation. They weren't suspicious at all.

 

[voool]

They have me on some phone tracker thing. They'll know where I am. I also told them I might check into a hotel to take a mini vacation. They weren't suspicious at all.

How old r you if I may ask?

 

[Trashcan]

How old r you if I may ask?

Why?

 

[voool]

I'm thinking about leaving at night and checking into a hotel.

Why?

Just curious

 

[Trashcan]

I'm thinking about leaving at night and checking into a hotel.

Just curious

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