The more I know about life, the more I know why I need to ctb
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The more I live and the older I get, the more frame of reference I have to make the right choice, that choice
Fucking family laughing at me for crying because I miss my cats that passed away
I hate them and it makes me want to kill myself more
I hate them and it makes me want to kill myself more
blueming
if we can stand outside the borders of time
- Sep 21, 2018
- 254
That's horrible of them, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about your cats, I know the feeling of losing a pet *big hugs*
Thank you*hugs back *I need one. I didn't cry ou of the blue but we sat near the place she always loved to play in and the memories kept flowing. I just hate them so much rn
blueming
if we can stand outside the borders of time
- Sep 21, 2018
- 254
It is very hard, you should cry as much as you like :) The memories keep coming back for me as well, there's no easy way to get over something like this.
I'm sorry for your loss as well:(
blueming
if we can stand outside the borders of time
- Sep 21, 2018
- 254
Thank you :)
I hate social media and the profound little quips people tag themselves with. No, you're not a survivor, or blessed, you're just alive and lucky. Maybe. I mean, I'd even dispute that, because you are still breathing, so how lucky could you really be.
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
The only thing to look forward to is being dead.
your pathologist
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Sep 5, 2018
- 519
This is the only place i feel I don't have to lie
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Same.
I kind of enjoy that we have one member called Trashcan and another called Weeping Garbage Can. It's like we have two dustbins, one who is sort of keeping it together and another who's perhaps losing it a little.
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Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Which of us is sort of keeping it together?
Lizzie S.
Experienced
- Sep 2, 2018
- 258
Feeling a little bit better about myself and feel the need to call my ex even though I know it's not a good idea. I guess it's just because he's the only real connection irl I ever had. The struggle is real
Life sucks, doesn't it? Even a weird loner such as myself craves companionship sometimes, with the right person. But given our propensities, it's not fair to bring them into this mess.
Lizzie S.
Experienced
- Sep 2, 2018
- 258
I know :( I'm not going to. I just miss him so much. At least you are in contact with your ex, at least one of us still has love in their life. I'm trying to learn to live (and die) without him, because if I can do that, I can do anything.
Weeping Garbage Can
ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
- Oct 31, 2018
- 320
I would like to know this as well...
Oh jeeze, I just meant because one of the garbage cans is weeping, lol. Nothing personal.
Weeping Garbage Can
ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
- Oct 31, 2018
- 320
Oh, I took no offense, I was curious. I probably should have catched on to the fact that 'weeping' would distinguish me as the one not keeping it together, oops
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Haha I should have caught on as well
Western Union Telegram
To: Jehova Yahweh
Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential Tier, Paradise
Dear God;
This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith
terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP
Please do not use me for a reference
Respectfully,
Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest
To: Jehova Yahweh
Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential Tier, Paradise
Dear God;
This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith
terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP
Please do not use me for a reference
Respectfully,
Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Fuck the survival instinct. I hope I have the courage to do full suspension hanging at some point in time.
lost illusions
bye
- Sep 12, 2018
- 548
thatguyakira123
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2018
- 217
Is this really what my life has come to? Posting memes on Reddit, playing games and posting caps on it online, just so that I can get some positive feedback and for someone to agree with me for once, just for the sake of fake points.
I'm lonely. Jobless, despite knowing that I could get a job I hate but can do. But I choose to not call and set up interviews because I'm too scared and want to mooch off my mom's hospitality a little bit longer.
Everyday is darkness, I have no friends or anyone to relate too, I watch tv/movies whole day. I diagnosed myself as having depression and anxiety. I know I have both, I know I have anxiety more, but I also wonder if I just say that to either fool myself or self destruct.
Though the fact that my mind makes up hypothecticl, irrational and ilogical situations to make me afraid, and getting worse as the days go by, is proof of my anxiety.
I regret staying alive. And yet still now I feel like I'm forced to kill myself. I dunno when I went from wanting to do it to being strongarmed into doing it. But it's so unfair that I have to do it.
Where do I go from here? What do I do? How do I find myself? How do I fix it? I guess I'll never be brave enough to know.
I'm lonely. Jobless, despite knowing that I could get a job I hate but can do. But I choose to not call and set up interviews because I'm too scared and want to mooch off my mom's hospitality a little bit longer.
Everyday is darkness, I have no friends or anyone to relate too, I watch tv/movies whole day. I diagnosed myself as having depression and anxiety. I know I have both, I know I have anxiety more, but I also wonder if I just say that to either fool myself or self destruct.
Though the fact that my mind makes up hypothecticl, irrational and ilogical situations to make me afraid, and getting worse as the days go by, is proof of my anxiety.
I regret staying alive. And yet still now I feel like I'm forced to kill myself. I dunno when I went from wanting to do it to being strongarmed into doing it. But it's so unfair that I have to do it.
Where do I go from here? What do I do? How do I find myself? How do I fix it? I guess I'll never be brave enough to know.
Is it weak of me to want to quit my (horrible) job? Getting blamed for stuff I didn't do from my boss. Horrible shifts, unfair distribution of workload compared to other coworkers. I'm so tired.
Lizzie S.
Experienced
- Sep 2, 2018
- 258
I feel trapped in my body. I feel almost comfortable in it but somethings just off that I can't pinpoint, it's frustrating because I feel like my soul can't express itself. This is another reason I want to ctb.
Not weak at all. If you can do it, don't hesitate. Jobs can be soul-crushing. I hate working, actually. My job isn't that bad, but I just wanted to have no obligations.
Nah I can't afford to quit yet.
Fallen bad23
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 105
I just emptied my library and packed my books in boxes so I don't see them for the rest of my remaining days. I also want to hide them so my mum won't cry whenever she sees them after I'm gone. I used to LOVE my books and would buy a book just to be happy but it has been a almost 3 years now since I actually could read and understand what is on the page. It is strange that I felt something while packing them because I have been numb for weeks now. It felt sad and painful to touch them and lay my eyes on them for the last time. I'm saying goodbye to the whole world in my own way. My body will die and will be hidden in a grave and my books will be buried as well in these boxes. The old me is really gone and it is just a matter of days or weeks before I physically depart this existance.
