I'm laughing out loud right now with this:
Can't stop it.
I'm sorry for posting random pics. If anyone objects I'll stop.
Fucking hilarious!!! So, how did you rate your ride with Christ?
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Fucking hilarious!!! So, how did you rate your ride with Christ?
Same here. That's when I started and perhaps, could have been helped. A few decades later and I'm fucked.
hahaha nice
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Yay on Monday I'll get the house to myself for an hour.
Querry1
life is unfair, ctb or get away
- Aug 16, 2018
- 180
God I hate working so much, good for me that I'm in with my friends so at least we have fun :)
jaemus12
Earth’s Parasite
- May 11, 2018
- 562
The local Costco here have played Transformers Movies on their TVs since the first one came out on DVD and Blu-ray.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Contacted a local suicide chat last night and this morning because total fucking breakdown. Didn't help.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Feel this way too. Beyond help for me because everything has deteriorated. Ctb is essential now.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Ended up kind of arguing with them because they gave some rediculous ways to relax. One of them told me to watch a movie to relax for a couple of hrs. I'm so mentally fucked that is not an option.
I want to get drunk or high temporarily but I can't even do that. How tiring it is to be completely sober all your life
Help_Me
Gene pool mistake
- Oct 21, 2018
- 516
Spent all day with my beloved one. Thank god no quarrels today (still i had panic, i always have it), i finally felt some kind of joy watching her smiling after my small gifts. (i did not smile a single time for maybe... past 2-3 weeks). ofc it should not confuse me and i must continue my preparations. I was going to discuss some method (not confirmed method) i stumbled upon like 4-5 times when i was searching the deep web. It will take some time to write down what i've read recently and start this thread cause i want everything to be clear)
Really really missing a certain someone
Glad I'm not the only one to not really connect with the suicide hotline operator. Mine did a google search and referred me to local resources, which I had long since exhausted. I couldn't believe that was the trained response to a person in crisis. I got mad, told her I could do a google search and hung up. Called back, hoping I would get a different operator. Ah, so much for that idea. It was her again, I was still pissed. Told her, well, I see why your line remains open and hung up. Maybe I'm beyond National Suicide Hotline crazy?
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Yes. There was lots of back and forth. She told me to put on music, try breathing exercises and said I could call the hospital if I had plans to die. This after getting into some personal problems I've been having, have had in the past and she said that she's dealing only with mental health problems now - like the events that caused this & my real life concerns are not relevant - & I simply need to focus on my depression. I was in a bad state and that upset me a bit. And yes she gave me the local resource phone#s as well.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,109
I have booked a hotel room for November. I'm not sure how I will feel like when the time comes but I really hope I can go through with it and finally end the pain. I have the option to cancel if the anxiety gets too strong, there is plenty of time. I'm excited though and I really want to do it. I've been prolonging the inevitable for too long and I have no doubts this is the right decision. It needs to be done, nothing is waiting for me. I feel worse with every passing day and the gender dysphoria is crushing me at this point. My exit will be peaceful and free from pain at least. The dress is ready, my N is too. Nothing can go wrong. I just need to take one step forward and it will be all over after years of fighting and struggling against the pain and I will finally find my peace.
Lost1234
Xentos
- Jun 20, 2018
- 70
a moment of reality.
I'm somehow trying hard to do good at work , in class but all I want to do is not exist. I just want to sleep and never wake up , If only it was that easy..... I know the way out requires enduring some amount of pain,not to include the rush of fear chemicals in the body from the survival instinct.
But Having to picture a suicide death in the eyes of my mom just paralyses me. I just imagined of how she would feel after seeing me hanged or poisoned and it got me wondering if I'll ever go through with having to ctb.
I'm somehow trying hard to do good at work , in class but all I want to do is not exist. I just want to sleep and never wake up , If only it was that easy..... I know the way out requires enduring some amount of pain,not to include the rush of fear chemicals in the body from the survival instinct.
But Having to picture a suicide death in the eyes of my mom just paralyses me. I just imagined of how she would feel after seeing me hanged or poisoned and it got me wondering if I'll ever go through with having to ctb.
your pathologist
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Sep 5, 2018
- 519
100th post (:
Color change!
Oh the only accomplishment of the day
Color change!
Oh the only accomplishment of the day
Jane Doe
Student
- Aug 19, 2018
- 148
your pathologist
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Sep 5, 2018
- 519
Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Jane Doe
Student
- Aug 19, 2018
- 148
your pathologist
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Sep 5, 2018
- 519
"Tell me Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"
Eren
Si hablas español mándame un MP
- Oct 27, 2018
- 1,075
I really want to die a fucking time, I can not stand to stay alive, right now I feel like shit
sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
If there's an afterlife we should all meet up, and if the afterlife is shitty we can figure out together how to kill ourselves in the afterlife
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
Transfer to the next bus.
When you think a lot about someone but can't see or interact with. Someone you love. What's the meaning of all of this? Will they know about it? And when we die everything will be unknown and forgotten. What a sad nonsense we live in.
Lizzie S.
Experienced
- Sep 2, 2018
- 258
They will likely never know, and in my case don't care. Truly depressing.
your pathologist
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Sep 5, 2018
- 519
Standing in the same place you stand everyday, smoking the same fckn cigarettes you've smoked for years looking up at the same sky that has always looked that way...
How many days are there....
How many days are there....
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RottingFlowerBrains
Student
- Sep 10, 2018
- 193
Lately ive been feeling super low and nothing is satisfying. The emptiness on my life is becoming more promadant. Often i am able to gloss it over with something nostalgic but not recently.
My finacial situation is not fabulous infact im broke as fuck havnt been paid yet and i owe it all on bills anyway. And the next few weeks i owe my money to.
I havnt been smoking as much as i used to but even when i do smoke it doesnt chang anything for me apart from the fact that im stoned.
I have no energy
I have no energy for my job search and i know that is the only step i can take to change my current life situation.
After i put all my energy and more into my army course i was suppose to go on and being fucked over by the system i literally cant bare to fight for my life anymore. Im over it
Im sick of trying. This year ive made incredible self growth but my life hasnt grown. Infact quite the opposite.
Im only writing this here to get it off my chest. I hate feeling depressed its a ugly feeling and i hate being sober but being high is equally as lame. I feel helpless and alone.
My finacial situation is not fabulous infact im broke as fuck havnt been paid yet and i owe it all on bills anyway. And the next few weeks i owe my money to.
I havnt been smoking as much as i used to but even when i do smoke it doesnt chang anything for me apart from the fact that im stoned.
I have no energy
I have no energy for my job search and i know that is the only step i can take to change my current life situation.
After i put all my energy and more into my army course i was suppose to go on and being fucked over by the system i literally cant bare to fight for my life anymore. Im over it
Im sick of trying. This year ive made incredible self growth but my life hasnt grown. Infact quite the opposite.
Im only writing this here to get it off my chest. I hate feeling depressed its a ugly feeling and i hate being sober but being high is equally as lame. I feel helpless and alone.
