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goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
Anyone feels this is really sad we all have to be anonymous to just express ourselves like we are not causing any harm to anyone.
 
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Inferdan

Inferdan

Meeting the first minor relapse after recovery
Nov 3, 2019
450
Some random thoughts...

It's fun seeing Cyanide liking every other posts (or even more posts than every other ones) XD

I follow people when I'm just curious about what they will post in the future. But I'm terrified when I see people following me. Not that they are doing anything wrong... I guess I just don't feel comfortable being seen or something.
You rather to be an observer, interested in the actions on an individual, learning what makes them them, their story, and their uniqueness is what enthralls you to see them. You like to see, but not be seen. A lurker watching the lives of others.

I do not mean to offend, that is not my intention, this is simply an interpretation. I apologize in advance for any pain that you feel from this, if you do
 
TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
767
I can not go on much longer suffering, I am near the end... I just can't take anymore.. Nothing is right and everything I wrong.. I feel I can't trust anyone anymore, and almost as if I can't express how I really feel... Thanks to everybody here who has been a support but I know in the end I knit have myself... I had posted previously about me cutting irl people out and at this stage I've a good mind to cut everybody out. How do I even know if most people I talk to are real and not some sick game my ex is playing... Ive said too much about myself to people... I push everyone away not because I want to but most people irl are trying to use me.... I just feel any privacy I've ever had is no longer private.... I hate myself and I hate existence so so much... Why can't anybody like me why can't I just have peace and be happy...i just don't know anymore
 
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G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
You rather to be an observer, interested in the actions on an individual, learning what makes them them, their story, and their uniqueness is what enthralls you to see them. You like to see, but not be seen. A lurker watching the lives of others.

I do not mean to offend, that is not my intention, this is simply an interpretation. I apologize in advance for any pain that you feel from this, if you do
that post is from Mar 2018 and that user last logged in oct 2018 I don't think you will get a reply from her. Sad part about SS.
 
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Inferdan

Inferdan

Meeting the first minor relapse after recovery
Nov 3, 2019
450
that post is from Mar 2018 and that user last logged in oct 2018 I don't think you will get a reply from her. Sad part about SS.
Ah, of course. Should have looked at the date. Thank you for pointing it out, I'll remember to check it from now on. Indeed it is sad, but there is a nice thought of them finally finding the peace they much needed.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
My body is deteriorated and less functional. Very anhedonic and low desire or libido. Can't do anything. Fuck this trap called life
 
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S

spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
Wanna be able to hide the recovery board. Just having to read those typical prolife titles is annoying.
 
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G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
had a chat with my mom it didn't go well ah what was I expecting :shrugs:
 
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S

silent staring void

Student
Jan 22, 2020
145
Guess who just lied to a doctor to get a meto prescription!!! :DDD Now I just need some antacid but that's gonna be easy.
 
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Woodnote

Woodnote

Goodbye
Oct 23, 2019
277
Locking people up when they're suicidal only makes them feel worse. Just got out of a mental hospital. Spent almost 2 weeks in there.
 
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thatguyakira123

thatguyakira123

Experienced
Apr 10, 2018
217
I hate how forieners glorify the caribbean as some sort of paradice. Every american show/movie always have it being about huts and sipping a drink by the beach. In reality it's shit. Homophobia, more relegious than a bible belt country, tax payers money being thrown into relegious institutions like *Insert relgious name here* school. Black people are racist towards Indians, Indians are racist towards Asians. Indians also like to start allot of infighting. Not to mention that if you're an introvert or don't follow either the black or indian culture(depending on which part you live), they ostrasize, bully and torture you to death. Hell if you're indian and an introvert they automatically assume you're racist and they treat you even more like crap for it. And don't get me started on how they treat people who are white or happen to sound american or british.

Not to mention the job market here is crap. The only options are; Food, Transport, Labouror, Office Work, Cashier Work, Sales and Pharmacy. Literally nothing for introverts, nothing for creative minds. We're in 2020 for fuck sakes, we should have new jobs with all the advancements in technology and the internet.

Everytime I see those stupid Caribbean Paradise in Film and TV it's like throwing salt in my wounds.

Locking people up when they're suicidal only makes them feel worse. Just got out of a mental hospital. Spent almost 2 weeks in there.

Sad to hear this happened to you.
 
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F

faraway_beach

Seawater and stardust
Dec 30, 2019
360
Nathan's Famous countdown clock read 180 days today. We are closer to the next Independence Day than the previous one. Summer is coming!
 
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GinaIsReady

GinaIsReady

Exit Strategist
Mar 29, 2019
995
Nathan's Famous countdown clock read 180 days today. We are closer to the next Independence Day than the previous one. Summer is coming!
omg I needed to hear that, even though I've seem my last summer. That saddens me. I love summer sooooooo much. Riding my motorcycle. Laying out in the sun. I love the sun. I would love another summer. But my time won't allow for it. I wanted to go on Jan 14th but there is a delay. Looking like end of February. omg how will I survive the time? What do other people do to pass the time? It's the weirdest feeling and not very comfortable, if I am to be honest. Maybe I'll create a thread to ask what people do to pass the time until their exit date. Eh, I never create threads. I bet it would get some good answers though.
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
You weren't supposed to leave my life that way, not yet.
 
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Thereisnothing

Thereisnothing

Enlightened
Jan 4, 2020
1,604
Why does it have to be such a beautiful sunny and atmospheric winters day here in the UK and yet my heart and soul ripped to shreds. I am torn, I just wish to stay in bed and shut everything out, but even then I cant shut out my pain and emptiness, its so raw. So maybe try and embrace this day best I can and do something productive despite feeling like being sucked under to the sea bed, bit by bit.......................I love the sea and I love nature..............I just wish to be with my loved ones in spirit world................am so alone here.
 
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G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
Every time I tell someone to think about their decision I feel like I am being a hypocrite.
 
M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
If I slipped away into the night would anyone notice or care?
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
I keep cutting myself, but I don't even understand why I'm doing it. It's like my emotions are completely unmoored from my environment.
I wish my life would do me a favor and either end abruptly for no particular reason or start making sense. Because I don't think I have the strength to change or end it.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
I don't want to see people suffer or hate and hurt each other. I won't bring any new human to this crazy wrong world and the cycle of endless suffering and hatred.
 
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Nemeshisu

Nemeshisu

Experienced
Dec 25, 2019
236
Pro-lifers are actually shortening my lifespan. If suicide was legal and easily available, I actually would try living as long as I want to (I would definitely want to die before I am 40 years old) because the fact that I could just leave this place at any moment I want would make me truly free. But I am instead forced to CTB as early as possible, because I am scared that someone would be able discover my supplies, i would get locked in psych-ward and that they would even make rather painless methods like SN illegal. So I want to CTB so early, because doing it in painless way might not be an option in future. Yes, Pro-lifers, you are very "helpful" by making me to live in constant fear and taking away the option of choosing when one wants to die.
 
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Roulette

Roulette

???
Aug 31, 2018
145
Lifes full of ups and downs, yet the downs suck big time. It never gets better or tolerable. I want off this ride
Too scared to buy rope because I feel like the cashier or people will suspect ctb intentions. Is it sus buying rope?
 
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E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
When David Gilmore sings "Forever and ever" and then the quitar solo starts in "High hopes"... I wish my entire existence could be suspended inside those few seconds.
 
G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
Pro-lifers are actually shortening my lifespan. If suicide was legal and easily available, I actually would try living as long as I want to (I would definitely want to die before I am 40 years old) because the fact that I could just leave this place at any moment I want would make me truly free. But I am instead forced to CTB as early as possible, because I am scared that someone would be able discover my supplies, i would get locked in psych-ward and that they would even make rather painless methods like SN illegal. So I want to CTB so early, because doing it in painless way might not be an option in future. Yes, Pro-lifers, you are very "helpful" by making me to live in constant fear and taking away the option of choosing when one wants to die.
Completely agree I regret I didn't bought my Mexican taco before.
 
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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
thanks for breaking me
 
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L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
Playing guitar is nice.
 
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S

silent staring void

Student
Jan 22, 2020
145
I finally picked up my SN today and honestly I feel nothing about it. I expected to feel relief or literally any emotion at all, but nope!
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
Playing guitar is nice.
I've been learning how to play for a while (okay, procrastinating on learning how to play for a while), and the learning part is stupidly strenuous. The simply strumming random shit part, though, has been strangely relaxing. My fingers don't hurt when I'm just playing somewhat randomly, for some reason.
 
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