Random thoughts

[mattwitt]

2020 Sucks !

 

[goomsoom]

2020 Sucks !

Cannot believe its already Feb

 

[throwaway123]

trying to find the courage to end this bullshit. Not sure where to find it. I just want this crap to end.

 

[Nemeshisu]

2020 Sucks !

Yeah, I never thought I would live that long in first place.

 

[Midnight]

I should have been dead ages ago. Is living another week/month or year even considered "fighting"? Am i just existing because i don't have something to push me over the edge? I used to like at least some things in life. Now i only still enjoy one unobtainable thing. It's not worth going on like this. Please let me die tonight.

 

[Lefty]

I've been learning how to play for a while (okay, procrastinating on learning how to play for a while), and the learning part is stupidly strenuous. The simply strumming random shit part, though, has been strangely relaxing. My fingers don't hurt when I'm just playing somewhat randomly, for some reason.

Playing guitar can be a relaxing thing. While starting out your fingers might hurt while playing but after time you'll be able to play for longer without your fingers hurting.

 

[faraway_beach]

I just wanted to watch some football. Why did Google have to run an ad that made me feel so miserable?

 

[BlueWidow]

 

[faraway_beach]

I cannot cope with this! Just when you're feeling lousy to begin with, they throw more things at you!

 

[Life sucks]

I fell in love with some anime characters. Way better than real humans. I wish I'm in anime world.

 

[ReverendGreen]

Today I found out that everyone I knew from high school had to write a couple essays for their college applications. I've never written one because the only college I applied to didn't require it. Also turns out they all applied for college their Junior years whereas I waited until after graduation to apply.
I know it doesn't really matter but it made me feel dumb.

 

[departing]

Lemon Oreo cookies are good.

 

[Carrotcake]

I'm very stressed out. The boyfriend called my doctor and now I have to go to the crises unit. But those people can't do anything for me so it's a waste of their time and my energy. I don't want to go through this. The last time I was there, few years back, I only ended up feeling like they were making fun of me.

 

[Midnight]

What state am i actually in i don't have a clue anymore ... Severe depression for nearly 2 decades but i never in all those years stopped "functioning" i hardly ever miss day's at work yet every single day i think about dying. I've come to hate life so vigorously yet everyday lo and behold this idiot goes to work. I go home to nothing anymore.. i used to have a hobby that kept the worst feelings at bay at least some of the times. I'm as good as broke. Now i can't be bothered by anything anymore. Life has gone from pointless to almost going backwards. It has been a steady decline every single year. I hate the "norm" of society and how you're left to wither away if you're not in it. Everyone knows deep inside i've been unhappy for years and years but don't at all applaud me for actually still functioning in this shithole. Also my depression has it's causes .. i wasn't born with wanting to die. Life has made me this way.

That must be it .. my state is "i function" like a machine doing it's job. Doesn't matter if i want to die while functioning ... As long as i keep working.

Eh fuck it ... I really really need to end this.

 

[Broken Chimera]

My insomnia keeps me from sleeping, I wake up too early and let them tell it I still sleep too much. I just can't win.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I'm miles from where you are
I lay down on the cold ground
And I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

 

[Carrotcake]

Told the crisis unit about SN as my method.. I feel like a snitch now, as if I spilled "our" (this forums) secret.

But they never heard of it before and when they asked what it was for the only thing that came to my mind was "making sausages" and they were like ?? Ok.

 

[vonvonwantpeace]

I don't belong in this world anywhere nor do I feel I belong in this life..........

 

[faraway_beach]

Money is broken. Its distribution bears no relation to a person's contributions to society. People die from a lack of this purely arbitrary stuff.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I won't survive the fallout

 

[BlueWidow]

Another post closer to 2,000!
Another post closer to pink!

 

[Carina]

Sometimes there's not enough alcohol.... or time... not enough one.

 

[BlueWidow]

I think I played all the games now and I posted on Stan's thread and the random thoughts thread.

 

[UninformedLover]

My mother just woke me up to do something she could of easily done. I am livid! This was the first time in a while where I was actually having a great sleep too. The way she called my name I thought I was in trouble and mini-panicked. I'm at a loss for words.

 

[silent staring void]

I'm gonna die Next Friday If things go according to plan...

 

[RM5998]

For some reason, I'm scared of partial suspension now. I just bought a rope (it's nylon, so the knot doesn't really stay in place, but I want to get used to the idea again). I guess I'm losing whatever spine I had left faster than I thought.

 

[sadgirl2002]

You're over 4000 miles away from me but you're the only one who's the closest to my heart and the only one I've been thinking about. I'm always wondering how you are and I'm worried you're still hurting. I wish I could be there for you but I can only do that if you let me in. I wonder if you're thinking of me like I'm thinking of you. All I can do is daydream and smile, visioning us together. Please come back to me one day.

 

[mesohappy]

If I took off walking across the country with nothing but the clothes on my back I wonder if I could make it all the way.If not, whats the worse that could happen? I would suffer and die? If I did make it, then what would I do?Would anyone even notice or care? Would I even want them too? Would I even care?

 

[Life sucks]

Everyone is a victim of existence

 

[StillWaiting]

Another day waking up and pretending everything will be fine.