Random thoughts

[sadbunny]

my suffering is relentless
useless

 

[Lennox]

I'm drunk, and I'm with acquaintances from work... I already tried and failed to explain my asexuality, and was met with laughs... I hope I don't end up talking about this place... I'm trying hard to not talk about this forum...

Sorry in advance if I say something stupid...

I'm tipsy too. But I work alone. I have a repair shop, I fix electronics. And just now someone brought me more work (it's already night here). But it's fine, keeps my mind off things.

 

[lilyeehaw]

Started cutting again after a few months free, I wanna go deeper so bad and just end it but i keep chickening out.

 

[Kjo]

Started cutting again after a few months free, I wanna go deeper so bad and just end it but i keep chickening out.

I can relate so much. I had been clean for three years and then relapsed right back to cutting... It feels like no matter what my cuts "don't count" if that makes sense. Much love and hopes for peace for you.

 

[ReverendGreen]

I'm going to shave my head just like how I've always wanted to when I was younger.

 

[Life sucks]

Avoid any assholes who talks about family bullshit as an argument. Family values and traditions my ass. Also no its not sacred. Fuck you and fuck your bullshit.

 

[blanketyblk]

All packed and about to head off on a road trip to clear my mind. going to the near center of Australia..

 

[Voy]

was getting depressed and desperate with life, wanted to go on here to vent but then I read posts of people who actually suffer and just lose the need to say anything. well life gotta life. due to my unique issue I can't talk about it even to the people on here, feel kinda lonely.

 

[AngelGirl]

i wanna reincarnate as a cute east asian girl

Why??? Just curious.... I'm an East Asian girl myself although I'm not cute... I have so many easy Asian girl friends who are so cute and adorable but suicidal.

 

[Kjo]

was getting depressed and desperate with life, wanted to go on here to vent but then I read posts of people who actually suffer and just lose the need to say anything. well life gotta life. due to my unique issue I can't talk about it even to the people on here, feel kinda lonely.

Unique issues lend more reason to educate everyone. Feel free to share and I hope you feel less lonely. Much love.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I hate those moments when I'm on SS and can't think of anything wise or just coherent and meaningful to post. It seems so easy and natural for other people to do that and gain a ton of likes.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I regret to have transmitted life.

 

[Pentobartbital]

This morning I had a brief reprieve from the suffering and chaos in my personal world. My oasis had been in the unlikely location of my back yard.

What made it so different, you may ask? I got a tobacco pipe recently. Cheap Italian briar with a bent stem. This was my third session ever since purchase, and I've been getting batter at packing, lighting and sipping on the stem. Tasting the aromatic blend like a sommelier does his wine. I watched the sun lazily ascend and warm my thick, soft flesh through my black clothes as I gazed at the glacially slow renewal of the grass' length.

Do we really have it better today? I'm not one to romanticise former eras, but to have been here sixty years ago, enjoying a good bowl in a hardy truck on the way to work. Letting the smiles of neighbours and fresh, wet summer air pass me by. Packing and lighting my pipes in firm rotation, rarely seen without one.

I've smoked a pipe plenty before in university, but now I can appreciate it. When I look into the abyssal coal void inside of the carbonised bowl, it's as if I'm being partially reconnected to a holy place shared by numerous ancestors.

Like cacao and cannabis, tobacco is very truly a divine gift meant for all mankind to savour.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

If I kill myself, all the efforts I did in my life to study, to improve at work, all the time my family spent for me and society invested in my education at school, all the interesting or just beautiful things I learnt or experienced, will disappear.

Whatever happens, it will be obliterated within a few decades. So what's the point?

 

[SinisterKid]

Why oh why the fuck can I not have more than one decent day at a time?

 

[RM5998]

Well, I guess the crash was bound to come... And it has. I hope these guys go out for dinner tonight, I need some ridiculous people to absorb my attention and take my mind off this shit.

 

[throwaway123]

so close to ending it so close

sometimes there are these moments when I could just pull the trigger, if only there was one. You americans have it so easy.

 

[Morphinekiss]

What good is having an oncologist if you can't get anyone to answer the damn phone so I can make a fucking appointment!

 

[mattwitt]

I really hate it when people get my humility confused with stupidity or weakness.

 

[「 」]

i hope i dont panic too much when i attempt to CTB with SN next week

 

[waived]

<3 not being able to manage new social interactions and not 'I think it's bad' when it's actually okay'. It's just bad. Especially when trapped within the situation that drags out for hours and sometimes turns into forever.

 

[waived]

It isn't really even an anxiety, it's a cognitive wall with a rapid bleeding of energy.

 

[ScarsAndStitches]

I wonder how the world will be like in one hundred years.

 

[Donewith_]

This is why i started imagining things.
Abuse
Why did i get a life
I feel sick to my stomach
did atleast one positive happen because of my life
I had faced abuse all of my shitty life
I despise myself
Atleast i am a grown up now.. not as helpless when i was a kid.
Atleast my life is better than some prostitutes being forced into prostitution.

 

[262653]

If I kill myself, all the efforts I did in my life to study, to improve at work, all the time my family spent for me and society invested in my education at school, all the interesting or just beautiful things I learnt or experienced, will disappear.

Whatever happens, it will be obliterated within a few decades. So what's the point?

Enjoy the ride, I guess. I think about Doom game right now. What's the point of even playing if you're only concerned about completing the game and not enjoying the process of flooding UAC complexes with demonic blood? Or beating the crap out of the lost souls with a double barrel shotgun, slicing down zombies with a chainsaw while laughing hysterically...

 

[namelessX8]

Why??? Just curious.... I'm an East Asian girl myself although I'm not cute... I have so many easy Asian girl friends who are so cute and adorable but suicidal.

I guess I have severe body + gender dysmorphia. I just think east asians are cute, sexy and smart. I've always thought that east asians are genetically superior for the aforementioned reasons. In the past I contemplated getting plastic surgery on my eyes to make them looking more mongoloid, but I realised it is unlikely to work well + its very expensive even to attempt to have it done properly. Even now, I don't go out without straightening my hair. East asians have all the facial/body features that I will never have in this life.

 

[Can'tStandAnymore]

Anybody know what happened to the user @IronTusk ? He didn't post any good-bye post, yet his account is deleted.

 

[tony.end]

I like reading this poem by Edgar Allan Poe with the song Daydreaming by Radiohead in the background. So i'll also link to that:

Poem's called Dream, and it's about being haunted by a waking dream/daydream, figment of the author's mind probably as a mean to escape the painful reality which is too much to bear, the world chiding.
So here it goes:

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed—
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream—that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar—
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?

Anybody know what happened to the user @IronTusk ? He didn't post any good-bye post, yet his account is deleted.

I have no idea sorry.

 

[blanketyblk]

Staying a a resort atm. my camping trip was a bit of a bust. been raining constantly and was freezing at night, way to cold to stay in a tent with a sleeping bag. the good news is. my head is slowly clearing and starting to think more positive thoughts..

 

[Donewith_]

I want to spend a part of my life without emotional manipulations, toxic things, toxic people.. when your own own parents are a bit problematic ..its a bit hard.
I feel like i got over this.. but no. A part of me still is getting hurt.
I don't want to face this again. This is why i am afraid of becoming a parent.. i am afraid i'll hurt.

Anybody know what happened to the user @IronTusk ? He didn't post any good-bye post, yet his account is deleted.

I saw that @IronTusk told that they'll self-ban. They did the same a while later. I know only that.