Random thoughts

[not_a_robot]

I will never forgive Chris Pratt for ruining every single episode of Parks and Rec with his horrible singing. Why must humans constantly fill the air with emotional musical noise? It disturbs me as much as if I walked into my bank and heard porn playing over the P.A. system. Emotional wailing and caterwauling as a constant soundtrack in every store and restaurant. Why? What is this creepy societal hypnosis that makes them all tolerate this incessant noise they call "music"? Yes, I understand and experience how it manipulates the brain; I just don't understand why people enjoy it so goddamned much. Mindless, self-pitying, destructive, noisy shit. Why must I hear it in the frozen food aisle while buying peas? What is the purpose of this?

At some point in the future, someone will think of you for the last time.

Not soon enough!

 

[k75]

Aww, he was one of my favorite things about that show.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I always think about saving somebody from dying aswell, like for example a child running out in the middle of the street because he/ she is chasing after their ball, it would damn well be more than my duty to get that ball and risk being hit by a car before they do, if parents aren't going to be responsible somebody has to...

 

[not_a_robot]

Aww, he was one of my favorite things about that show.

I can't hate him too much. I sing bad too.

 

[k75]

LOL I just don't sing!

 

[Going Home]

1.The nasty woman stalker who sat in seat 38 G on the way over last night.
2.The rich woman telling people she is sending me around to different cities get a job. I've been on disability for over a year now, LIAR.
4. The doctor, not of my choosing, comments about my breasts and vagina.
3. Trying to hold on to my faith in God, but losing it.

 

[lilyeehaw]

Nothing seems to motivate me anymore, Its Almost like death is the next logical step for me. I don't even know what to think anymore or do, I am not contributing anything to society just watching it go by as I get worse and worse.

 

[262653]

Whats the point of living if you have an IQ of a potato?

 

[irrelevant_string]

Whats the point of living if you have an IQ of a potato?

I don't know, but I doubt that having the IQ of a tomato would make life more meaningful.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I packed too much and now people are suspicious Told then I wanted to paint my walls and redecorate.

Guess I'm painting some walls this week.

 

[SinisterKid]

You know when something infuriates you to the point of you wanting to do some serious harm to it, but then afterwards, you kinda miss it when its no longer there?

 

[blanketyblk]

So today i went back to work from 2 weeks forced vacation. i survived nearly most of the day before having to pack it in. i just can't cope with it at the moment. i spoke to H.R and looks like i might get permission to work from home for 3 days a week. this is something that might work, while i work though my issues.

 

[262653]

I don't know, but I doubt that having the IQ of a tomato would make life more meaningful.

Hah! Thats a nice way of putting it. Although it does seem different from where I stand. But I'm afraid that you may be right I agree with you.

Guess I'm painting some walls this week.

How do I interpret it, pray tell?

You know when something infuriates you to the point of you wanting to do some serious harm to it, but then afterwards, you kinda miss it when its no longer there?

School bullies come to mind. I wish someone would said to me before that it's okay to turn my offender's face into a squash.

 

[not_a_robot]

Whats the point of living if you have an IQ of a potato?

well, I'm sure it's fine for a potato...

 

[sunny.sativa]

Addiction is fucked up, man.

You want to stop, and you know you can but you.. love it so much and it FEELS like you can't because you're not QUITE to the point of wanting to quit more than not.. but maybe you are and you're literally out of control?

They don't have AA classes that are worth a shit for this kind of addiction. The pain and fear of knowing you're repeating the cycle is unmatched.

"...Stop, you're hurting yourself. But it's so GOOD, but you.. seriously need to stop. One more? NO. EVOLVE OR REPEAT.

okay, seriously one more wont hurt."

But it did. And it does. It always does. It's that "one more" that makes the desire stronger. And I've lost again. I failed. But I can change... maybe tomorrow..

 

[262653]

well, I'm sure it's fine for a potato...

But what if potato realizes that not everyone is equal in mental prowess? And he thinks that if he were smarter, then he would make less dumb decisions and wouldn't end up in a crappy position he currently takes. But potato isn't very familiar with tomato group, or with their hardships, and is uncertain about whether he would be better off if he were to have cognitive power of a tomato. He can surely perform an independent research on intellect and its relations with subjective well-being/happiness/life satisfaction/what not, spot some patterns, make extrapolations... but he is troubled that he might never know how it's like to be a tomato, and it's a source of great distress to him.

 

[RM5998]

<Rant>
It's so frustrating to try and write code when you're using a connector with nearly useless documentation. I have to try and trap errors that are popping up for no visible reason, but I can't even enable the option to ignore errors. I don't even know what is going on anymore.
</Rant>

I wish I was better at what I'm supposed to do... I have nothing to show for the three years of computer science I've studied. The moment there's nobody there to help, I've stopped making stuff that works. I don't want to feel this useless.

 

[irrelevant_string]

I have nothing to show for the three years of computer science I've studied.

Same here... except it's two years. Tomorrow is my first day of internship and I'll probably just make a fool of myself and give up on my studies.

 

[RM5998]

Same here... except it's two years. Tomorrow is my first day of internship and I'll probably just make a fool of myself and give up on my studies.

I'm a month into my internship, and I've already done that... Thankfully I have the perfect excuse of incomprehensible error messages.

 

[OnlyMercy]

Suicide is incomprehensible and unfathomable to he who has not experienced incomprehensible and unfathomable pain.

 

[Morphinekiss]

How do I interpret it, pray tell?

Lol I'm actually painting them. I figure since I took everything off my walls and packed all my mementos away it would be the only believable excuse. I'd never leave my brains on a wall for someone to clean up

 

[irrelevant_string]

I'm a month into my internship, and I've already done that... Thankfully I haven't the perfect excuse of incomprehensible error messages.

I've come to associate Visual Studio with that. If not incomprehensible, they tend to be misleading. Although it's probably just me, my code is as messy as my sentences whenever I write more than a few lines.

 

[RM5998]

I've come to associate Visual Studio with that. If not incomprehensible, they tend to be misleading. Although it's probably just me, my code is as messy as my sentences whenever I write more than a few lines.

That's what my code is like as well... I'm coding in a mixture of Scala and Python right now, but I'm pretty sure this is going to expand soon because of random stuff coming up. I have the good fortune of working with a pair of powerful tools that refuse to communicate sensibly, making a task that should be simple extremely complicated. And on reflection, that last sentence sounds a lot like life in general.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

I have finally put something into words that is literally the work of years of pondering: People often tell me that I'm very "well-spoken" or "articulate" and communicate very well, and it has always frustrated me. Usually the response would be something like "thanks, but I'm really not." Now, however, it has finally clicked. There's so much in my head that I don't even have words to put to yet and whatever information I can put together takes a significant amount of effort. Maybe people feel they are understanding me but I feel I have barely scratched the surface of what I want to say. So, you may think that I'm articulate and effectively communicating, but how can you even make that determination if you don't know what is in my head to be communicated?

 

[262653]

I have finally put something into words that is literally the work of years of pondering: People often tell me that I'm very "well-spoken" or "articulate" and communicate very well, and it has always frustrated me. Usually the response would be something like "thanks, but I'm really not." Now, however, it has finally clicked. There's so much in my head that I don't even have words to put to yet and whatever information I can put together takes a significant amount of effort. Maybe people feel they are understanding me but I feel I have barely scratched the surface of what I want to say. So, you may think that I'm articulate and effectively communicating, but how can you even make that determination if you don't know what is in my head to be communicated?

Maybe by articulate they mean that you express thoughts more deep and profoundly than average person from their social circle? I get that often too, probably because of my exotic appearance.

 

[blanketyblk]

So work today told me i have 2 weeks to get my shit together or they want me to leave.. so going to be fun. got another week and a half off. so I'm going to go traveling/camping. and just try and clear my head..

 

[Donewith_]

i'm feeling very guilty. I am pretending, lying to a person who is very kind,generous to me. I have no choice
i have enough of my crap.. i am completely drowned in it.. if my mother and father had not taken care of me.. i would have gone before a long time.
if i shouldn't lie.. that means i have to live. I just want to get out of this, I'm terrible at making decisions.. I never made good decisions. never.
my decisions, choices .. made the people around me feel that they are completely drowned
My mom even thought of suicide because of me. this is me. i regret my life

 

[Life sucks]

I don't like the new subforum and the renaming of the original one. I understand some people want to discuss recovery but there is something wrong. If some people just make accounts for supporting fake recoveries and annoying the rest of subforums it would be very bad and toxic

 

[RM5998]

I'm drunk, and I'm with acquaintances from work... I already tried and failed to explain my asexuality, and was met with laughs... I hope I don't end up talking about this place... I'm trying hard to not talk about this forum...

Sorry in advance if I say something stupid...

 

[SinisterKid]

All I want to eat is cheese and crackers. I must have been a mouse in a former existence or insane or maybe both? Is there such a thing as a crazy mouse or does that just apply to frogs?