Discussion Teenage Suicide vs Adult Suicide

[Achromatix]

I feel like most people stop caring that someone is suicidal as long as they're over 18 years old. I understand the kids dying is 100% a tragedy, but it also feels cold that most programs are only willing to help suicidal people up to a certain age. I've seen many programs/places that offer help to anyone under 24 only.

Then it begs the question of how old should someone be before attempting suicide? Like, I get that that number isn't practical when you add in health factors, trauma, and life experience. Someone in their late teens may be seen as judging life top early since their young, but maybe they're terminally ill.

I feel like most suicide prevention is for teens rather than people on general. Is that wrong to think? Sometimes I wonder when contemplating getting help if people are more annoyed someone in their mid to late twenties is whining. Like old enough suicidal people are just numbers now. Idk where I'm going with this, I just wanted thoughts and opinions about it ig.

 

[Doll Steak]

Yeah I've thought about that too, I think people kind of stop caring around 19-21 though probably because by that time your likely done with high school and in the middle of or at the end of college (if you decide to go) and you are truly out in the "real world", so if you don't like it at that point, then not much can be helped.

Compare that to someone who's 13-18, emotions, hormones, impulsivity, all cranked up to a 100% and on top of all of it you have to stress about high school/middle school and trying to find yourself and be comfortable with who you are. This is likely why there is more pity for adolescents, since they are going through the shit with puberty and big changes in life and transitions from middle to high school and high school to college, blah blah. Idk if this even makes sense cause It's late and I'm tired.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've found this with non suicidal help- just life in general. Changing career directions seems harder. Apprenticeships for instance, aren't much interested in you over the age of 24. They expect you to have got your shit together by then I suppose. But, what if you haven't or, you feel like you want to change direction? Why assume someone slightly older won't still work hard or, be able to learn?

 

[ObsidianEnigma]

Then it begs the question of how old should someone be before attempting suicide?

I think it depends on the person. If CTB is done after serious deliberation and the exhaustion of all possible ways to make life better (or livable), is it really so difficult to understand at any age? I think someone killing themselves because of stupid parents (instead of eventually moving out) or right after a breakup (instead of trying to find a new relationship) is tragic. But someone who has struggled for many years, undergone therapy, tried to improve their lives, followed all the advice, and yet failed—what else can be expected of them?

 

[Dejected 55]

I identify with anyone who feels like suicide is their only answer. I feel sadder for anyone under 30 because there is still time in there to maybe find something that works for you even if the struggle is really hard. I feel the most sad for anyone under 20, and especially children.

All the "pro-life" people are full of shit when it comes to giving a damn about children once they are born. Kids don't even get the full set of "rights" and "freedoms" that adults do, and we don't get jack shit in some scenarios either unless we are rich and powerful... but kids get screwed over multiple ways and usually can't do shit about their situations even if they know what the problem is and know what help they need.

I wish no kid was ever depressed. I wish young adults didn't have to be sad sometimes. But after a point, life kind of weighs on you... and at 55 I get why anyone who lasts this long somehow would be looking for a way out.

 

[HopeToStay]

Youth suicide is usually seen as more an impulsive or irrational thing. Someone doesn't have the life experience to deal with setbacks and know the thing they are worried about won't matter long term and life can change for the better.

When an adult commits suicide it's probably more often felt rightly or wrongly that their situation had become intolerable.

All a generalisation of course.

 

[Donatello Lithite]

Interesting. I've had similar thoughts. When a teenager takes their own life, it's a tragedy. However, when someone, say, in their mid-50s takes their own life, society's reaction is "meh whatever".

Mind you, suicide is being publicly reported on less and less anyway as the police and media want to discourage "copycat suicide".

 

[black money boys]

people care less about you as you grow older

 

[NonEssential]

I've found this with non suicidal help- just life in general. Changing career directions seems harder. Apprenticeships for instance, aren't much interested in you over the age of 24. They expect you to have got your shit together by then I suppose. But, what if you haven't or, you feel like you want to change direction? Why assume someone slightly older won't still work hard or, be able to learn?

People say it's never too late, but I feel like I've fucked my life up for not doing much when I was younger.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

It's funny but i kinda feel like I already "missed the bus" with my suicide too. I'm only in my early twenties but i feel like I'm too old not to be harshly judged, which shouldn't matter much when I'm gone but I guess I still care

 

[Forever Sleep]

People say it's never too late, but I feel like I've fucked my life up for not doing much when I was younger.

It's true to some extent. I've changed direction in life a fair bit. I did a second degree in my late twenties/ early thirties to get me back on track. I think you do need determination in the moment though. Because in many ways, we're already at a disadvantage, being older. Sometimes it works in our favour though. Someone offering me a work experience opportunity at uni said they prefered mature students because they found them to be more reliable. I think as a group, we were maybe more serious at least. Ultimately though- all we can ever do is try. If we don't try, then things almost definitely won't change.

 

[Apathy79]

I think it's largely because many teenagers and young adults feel save-able but many 30+ people don't. Like it's very difficult for a 15 year old to have enough life experience to know that suicide is the right call. The odds that what they're going through is really temporary and salvageable is high by virtue of their age. That's not the case for a 35 year old, and it's definitely not the case for a 55 year old.

Obviously its a generalisation and there are exceptions the whole way along the age spectrum, but I think it's a reasonable one.

 

[abyss@fmPf1KVp6]

I think it has something to do with the expectations placed on adults, it's socially expected for adults to have everything figured out and get their shit together so their life and actions are totally up to them. They have agency and life experience enough to decide what's the right choice for them so suicide is often shrugged off as something that happened, it comes with a lack of consideration for circumstances as opposed to teen suicide which is generally seen as tragic and easier to sympathize with, there's always some reason behind it whether it was a failing of the parents, the school or any other third party

Now I don't think suicidal teens are treated any better than suicidal adults since mental health and suicide stigma is present at any age and suicidal teens generally grow to be suicidal adults due to lack of support but it's true that when you are an adult it feels like you have to "get over it" and if you kill yourself well that was your choice

 

[blacksand]

I've found this with non suicidal help- just life in general. Changing career directions seems harder. Apprenticeships for instance, aren't much interested in you over the age of 24. They expect you to have got your shit together by then I suppose. But, what if you haven't or, you feel like you want to change direction? Why assume someone slightly older won't still work hard or, be able to learn?

God ain't that the truth about apprenticeships. I made a good effort at 29-30 to get into one but it really is made clear you are too old at that point.

I think it's largely because many teenagers and young adults feel save-able but many 30+ people don't. Like it's very difficult for a 15 year old to have enough life experience to know that suicide is the right call. The odds that what they're going through is really temporary and salvageable is high by virtue of their age. That's not the case for a 35 year old, and it's definitely not the case for a 55 year old.

Obviously its a generalisation and there are exceptions the whole way along the age spectrum, but I think it's a reasonable one.

Yes exactly this. When you look at a lot of youth suicides the reasons get sillier and sillier all the way down to age 10. The type of deep meaningful existential peace that an adult feels when they truly know it's over and this is their salvation is a very different feeling to what someone under 17 is likely to feel.

 

[hippiedeath]

Teen suicide is a bit premature I think in many cases, because teens just haven't lived long enough to make that kind of call. I'm not saying kids don't suffer, or suffer less than adults. They just don't have the experience.

 

[Coffeandamug]

In a certain way I wish it was exactly like this. Teenage suicide, in my perspective, should be prevented because they still don't have an experienced view on life and their decision could be largely impulsive. But in adults, although it could also be like this sometimes, it should be assumed that they can make that decision on their own, given that adults SHOULD have autonomy over their own existence. But I get what you mean. You meant this in the sense that older lives don't matter as much and then, you don't have as much prevention/help. That's bad as well, people should be offered quality help inspite of their age. But yeah... "quality help" without paying a fortune that's kind of a myth in the US right ?

 

[RosebyAnyName]

It's true. Up until your early 20s, there are too many variables for how someone's life could turn out. They could still enter any number of careers (in theory), they could still form any number of life-long relationships, they could try any number of new things and have the flexibility to do so. However, when people hit their mid twenties to thirties, that's when you're really stuck with whatever life you have up to that point. It's possible things can still change, but it's a lot less likely. It's harder to change careers because you aren't a fresh, young person that can learn a new job quickly, and it's harder to form long-term relationships because all the "good ones" are usually taken by then.

I'm reminded of the statistic (sorry I don't remember the source) that most people with BPD, despite usually beginning to exhibit symptoms in their teenage years, have an average suicide age in their 30s. It's one thing when you're young and you feel hopeless but you can also feel yourself still changing and adapting in life, but it's another thing to realize as a proper adult that all the problems you had before aren't going away any time soon.