Random thoughts

[Pilum Muralis]

I wasn't with my mother when she passed away, and it haunts me to this day.

 

[SinisterKid]

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting, always waiting. Soon. Then the waiting will be over. Enough already. Patience, patience. My head is aching, my soul is yearning for release. But wait, wait, wait, wait.

 

[RM5998]

Going down the runway now... I want my window to blow and kill me.

 

[ScarsAndStitches]

I wish that I hadn't taken my health for granted while I had it.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I love Eastern European accents, so naturally I want to bone my new dentist. He's bald too good to know I can't still get turned on.

 

[RM5998]

Finally, got to the place where I'm going to rot for the next six months. The good news is, I'm back on my laptop.

 

[Rukia]

I am going to the lawyer today, so scared ...I am going to talk about legal aspects of writing my memoir, there are so many questions...:( I am scared he will only reaffirm my worst thoughs and fears ...that I will have to change everything, every detail so on...because ppl can sue me...

 

[not_a_robot]

Sometimes I wish I could stand being around people because I still have all kinds of ideas for weird David Lynch-y films and photoshoots and I'm really good with cameras too, but they would require the participation of models and actors. So then I think, nah, I rather kill myself.

I love Eastern European accents, so naturally I want to bone my new dentist. He's bald too good to know I can't still get turned on.

Lol. most accents make me splash.

 

[RM5998]

Sometimes I wish I could stand being around people because I still have all kinds of ideas for weird David Lynch-y films and photoshoots and I'm really good with cameras too, but they would require the participation of models and actors. So then I think, nah, I rather kill myself.

I've directed shorts before, and trust me, you do not want to make stuff like that unless you are 100% sure you can either communicate with or dominate your crew. Being in a cooperative mood is NOT good enough. I tried to tell my team to at least keep the camera on lockdown for our shots because nobody was good at holding it steady, but the cinematographer thought he was way better than he actually was. Also, none of them could get the importance of staging a scene in a way where the camera can implicitly show power relations. I wanted to stage an interview scene in our lecture halls so that we could have the interviewers and the camera looking down on the character applying for a job, making him seem small, and they rejected it because their feeble minds couldn't get past the fact that it was unrealistic. I mean... come on! People these days lack imagination.

 

[Kuolema]

My new case manager is the nicest person ever. I feel terrible I'm going to ctb under his watch.

 

[Life+me=error]

I, like Harry potter, have a scar on my head only on the other side of the skull. That scar hurts rn :) I am trying to smile away my mental pain

 

[RM5998]

You know the end is near when devs use words like 'friendly' and 'cooperative' and 'learn' and 'grow' more than management.

 

[throwaway123]

I wish there was something I could do that isn't CTB. I can't do anything but wait now. I am trapped in a cage.

 

[Kuolema]

I wish I knew how to debate without the conversation inevitably turning into an argument.

 

[RM5998]

I wish I knew how to debate without the conversation inevitably turning into an argument.

This statement becomes especially confusing when you remember that statements used in rational discourse are technically called arguments.

 

[inconsequential]

I want my uterus cut out. I have no need, want, or use for this thing.

 

[omoidarui]

i've just been reading about how Kakabushi's family have seen two Luna moths since her passing, one at home and the other on the day of her funeral...

i wonder if that's a sign or if Luna moths just aren't as rare as i thought

 

[Morphinekiss]

You know what I love? When my back goes out 10 minutes into a trip to the store and they have to get a wheelchair to get me to the car. yaaaayyy

 

[ReverendGreen]

I don't understand how anybody gets anything done

 

[throwaway123]

The worst is when your life is full of suffering and you can't do anything about it. You're just doomed to live a life full of endless pointless suffering.

I used to deny stuff like destiny and shit but the older I get the more I realize that we don't ever have any real control over our lives. Our fate is already written. It's like watching a horror movie. No matter how much you want the characters to survive, deep down you know they won't but you still hope for it.

Sometimes that hope is still in me, sometimes it's not and when it's not I come here and write about it.
I've come to believe that we don't even have control over CTB. Very few people who are suicidal actually go trough with it. I've had 2 attempts and that was it for me.

 

[Orin]

Our fate is already written. It's like watching a horror movie.

I feel the same way. No matter my best efforts, i always seem to fuck up. It's like i'm playing D&D and the dungeon master just gives me the illusion of freedom of choice, but in the end i end up on the path he has already set.

 

[Donewith_]

Feeling a bit guilty.. I am not fulfilling my responsibilities.
I have taken many things from people, I am a bit selfish. but, people are unable to notice because they got blind with the love they have on me.
I have always been different.. I noticed that. Like.. actively searching for something and was never at peace with myself.
And today.. here I am sapping my family comfortably .. and I don't know how to fix some things. I destroyed many things.. i know that.
I think i shouldn't have been here in the first place.
confused. This should have been a bit easier.. or I could have got some help.

 

[262653]

Talking about exercise, does the statement "make X reps of <this>" means "make <this> X times", or "make <this> 1+X times" since you have to make a first one and then repeat it?

 

[JoeFailure]

I don't understand how anybody gets anything done

It's hard to see how much people really do accomplish. I met a single mom raising 2 kids with an absentee father and no child support that busted her ass to get a Masters and she's going to become a social worker and takes care of her house and finds time to do things with friends and family.

It's amazing. I can hardly take care of myself. This woman is like my hero, I honestly can't fathom being able to do all that. It takes some kind of brainpower that I don't have.

 

[Halo13]

I wondered when my mind would snap again and I'd disassociate. It's nearly impossible to describe but I welcome the numbness. The last few weeks went by so fast.

 

[ReverendGreen]

Talking about exercise, does the statement "make X reps of <this>" means "make <this> X times", or "make <this> 1+X times" since you have to make a first one and then repeat it?

Assuming I understand you correctly, 'make <this> X times'.
Like if you were going to do 3 sets of 10 reps on the bench press you would lower the bar to your chest and push it up 10 times every set, for a total of 30 reps.

 

[262653]

Assuming I understand you correctly, 'make <this> X times'.
Like if you were going to do 3 sets of 10 reps on the bench press you would lower the bar to your chest and push it up 10 times every set, for a total of 30 reps.

Reps stand for repeats, right? Before you make your first repeat, you have to perform "prototype" push, so is it prototype + whatever amount of reps?
I wish I could explain it better... Oh well, more fun along the way.

 

[ReverendGreen]

Reps stand for repeats, right? Before you make your first repeat, you have to perform "prototype" push, so is it prototype + whatever amount of reps?
I wish I could explain it better... Oh well, more fun along the way.

Reps stands for repetitions. A repetition is the entire movement.
In this video the guy does 6 repetitions then re-racks the weight. By 'prototype push' do you mean lifting the weight off of the rack? Yeah, you don't count getting the weight into position. You only count reps when you complete an entire movement, down and up.

 

[262653]

Reps stands for repetitions.

Oh... that dispels the confusion. I was wondering if 6 repeats means 7 actions, or push-ups, in this case. So that you make one push, and then 6 repetitions of that first push -- 7 total.

 

[15dec]

I don't think I'm supposed to be happy. No matter what I do, I always end up miserable or make others miserable. I don't know what I'm holding on for.