Random thoughts

[AhG]

Last night, I went to sleep with a calm mind.
I woke at 4 am with an aching ribcage from the multiple times I tried to rip my own heart out of my chest last night.
I feel the cracks in my bones tremble and the broken pieces pierce my lungs everytime I try to breathe.
I honestly don't know what to do, I always said I wouldn't be able to breathe without you, and it's true.

 

[Jodes]

Last night, I went to sleep with a calm mind.
I woke at 4 am with an aching ribcage from the multiple times I tried to rip my own heart out of my chest last night.
I feel the cracks in my bones tremble and the broken pieces pierce my lungs everytime I try to breathe.
I honestly don't know what to do, I always said I wouldn't be able to breathe without you, and it's true.

Omg :(

 

[salvation]

too lazy to eat

 

[throwaway123]

I'm a loser. Being succesful in life depends on so many factors:
Environment,Genetics,luck..........
the list goes on. I feel like life is like a random game. Some people have great lives others have shit lives. It all comes down to chance.

Not everyone can be a super succesful person. No matter how hard you work you can't change genetics, you can't change how intelligent you are. No amount of willpower can overcome that. Not to mention the environment. It has a huge effect on you and you can't chose where you are born.

Life isn't fair , not everyone has had time nor the opportunity to study .

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I feel scared sometimes when thinking about ctb but other times I'm just like eh. Anybody else?

Me too.

 

[Circles]

Laying in bed right now wondering how we basically slept through over 13.7 billion years or maybe well over an innumerable amount of time. It's just weird how it feels like it zoomed instantly to where we are now. Words just cannot describe or amplify the weirdness of this existence. Like why anything and why are we here especially at this point in time? Every question just leads to another with no answers. And it could be all for no reason at all like that even makes sense or is good enough either. People say 'it just is' but that doesn't help explain anything or why everything is as it is but not in another way or why isn't nothingness the default setting. And whatever that something is (multiverse, God(s) or whatever) has been here basically forever and it's just so hard to understand it. Any answer will not satisfy me cause you can always ask well what came before that and it's just another wall that we'll never begin to comprehend. Everything is so fucking overwhelming.

 

[Alecsa]

I'm so fucking mental it's hard convincing myself I have some sense left in me. Idk if I'm actually doing things for the good of people, or just cause it would benefit me more.

 

[brighter]

lol I never used to get the suicide hotline come up when I searched up SS but now it's the first search result



EDIT: I'm not sure if I posted this in the right place, it's just a random irrelevant thing I noticed this morning.

 

[sadsoul]

lol I never used to get the suicide hotline come up when I searched up SS but now it's the first search result

View attachment 9190

EDIT: I'm not sure if I posted this in the right place, it's just a random irrelevant thing I noticed this morning.

It's the same for me

 

[salvation]

lol I never used to get the suicide hotline come up when I searched up SS but now it's the first search result

View attachment 9190

EDIT: I'm not sure if I posted this in the right place, it's just a random irrelevant thing I noticed this morning.

It's the same for me
View attachment 9192

I like the virtue signaling google does by putting some hotline that does jack shit to make it seem they care about the mentally ill

 

[AhG]

Wishing you were here because I'm so empty without you, so I texted three words to you and all I got was silence.

 

[Roberto]

each day I am getting closer to doing it.
I can feel it. I should've done it years ago. I've been living a lie. It's time to end it.

When I was on sertraline ten years ago, I saw what you say, crystal clear. I thought I was living a lie, and that I always wanted to ctb, but somehow I kept the idea deep inside my mind until then.

 

[salvation]

10 years ago? i was on sertraline at 10 years old

 

[Hopeless_soul]

You were my life, and now I'm missing you so much. Where are you, my soul? I'm sorry about being myself... I have to disappear soon.

 

[Roberto]

10 years ago? i was on sertraline at 10 years old

I was 30 years old then

 

[salvation]

I was 30 years old then

wow, it helped at first but when i grew up it stopped working even at maximum dosage. did/does it help you?

 

[Roberto]

I like to hear breathing the cat while he sleeps. I like to think that the cat find peace around me, despite my mind troubles.

wow, it helped at first but when i grew up it stopped working even at maximum dosage. did/does it help you?

I had the maximum dosage too. It was the first antidepressant I took. At the beginning the change was so lovely. I brought flowers to my doctor. I was so happy. But I got used to it. And lost the initial feeling. The 'bad' thing is that I had a crisis and wanted to ctb. After 10 years I'm now again with sertraline. Half de maximum dose, 100mg. Again, at the beginning i was quite happy. But now I'm many days with melancholy. But I don't get very well with my psychiatrist and don't want to ask her to change my medication. My last 2 medications were horrible for me.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Everything goes to waste. I've been a waste for too long... I'm food for the crows...

 

[Pentobartbital]

10 years ago? i was on sertraline at 10 years old

This makes me both angry and very depressed.

The only drug that is approved to be administered to youths is Prozac, and even that has issues. I do not understand why child psychiatrists use anything else.

 

[Alecsa]

Why is sleep so temporary

 

[sadsoul]

Maybe if we call it 'the war on sentience' they will legalize euthanasia (since they love declaring war on literally everything)

 

[throwaway123]

Now that I am almost ready to go I caught a cold. Fml

 

[OnlyMercy]

When all attempts to mitigate pain in life fail, suicide becomes an act of defiance.

It becomes the blatant refusal to subject oneself to a lifetime of senseless suffering.

 

[Roberto]

If the universe was without the humanity. Who would feel it? What would be the purpose of itself?

 

[sadsoul]

Very rarely I suddenly get dopamine bursts for no reason, they don't last long but I fucking love it. Like right now, I feel so incredibly happy ahhHhhhhh

Edit: listening to music is heaven, I can't describe how fucking good I feel

 

[waived]

I am ecstatic when I look at my phone that I've left in a dark drawer somewhere for days, and there's nothing.

 

[salvation]

My wifi went out

 

[Life sucks]

Humans are toxic

 

[sadsoul]

Is it just me or has there been an increase in anime avis?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

We have some sort of a depression awareness class today, i think I'm gonna start straight up crying because I feel utterly terrible today.