E
EphemeralDream
Member
- Mar 8, 2019
- 21
I hate myself so much. I'm so big fuck up. Makes lots of people sad. I just want to die.
As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
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How is that rude?The suicide hotline pops up when you google this place now. Rude. I wonder when they did that. Took google a long time to add that (for me at least). :/
Google thinks it knows bestHow is that rude?
A friend of mine says I want to die all the time but kind of in a joking way but I never know wether or not to take her seriouslyBeing casually suicidal has become mainstream among young people... It's so sad. I wonder how many who joke about wanting to be dead actually want to be :/
I don't think there's a reason, same reason people with diabetes lack the hormone insulinSo you see how depression has something to do with chemicals, why do some people have/lack hornones that make them feel so bad?
People with depression, not those who want to ctb due to life circumstances.
So you see how depression has something to do with chemicals, why do some people have/lack hornones that make them feel so bad?
People with depression, not those who want to ctb due to life circumstances.
How is that rude?
Your brain cant maintain sadness or hypervigalance or anger forever, it's gotta get tired and be numb to protect you or else you'd get an ulcer (you still can get the ulcer though...) Loose hypothesis from Self Harm and cptsd book I'm reading..Anyway....virtual hug if you want or desire it.I feel scared sometimes when thinking about ctb but other times I'm just like eh. Anybody else?
I don't think you're insane, I've known a few people who joined the military to dieWhat if instead of ctbing I join the YPG and die fighting ISIS and protecting local people? I'm totally insane lol.
It must have felt terribly lonely going through all that. I would just treat the girl as a social interaction, no more. Even tell yourself that she's concerned in some way. And if she has nastier intentions then don't do what I do and disappear and start a new life.I live in a hotel now. There are a small cafe where I often go to have meal and a grocery store where I buy booze every day. To be honest, sometimes I used to visit the cafe being noticeably drunk, lose important stuff like card, passport and keys. Broke them a showcase one day (I wasn't aggressive, just wanted to lean on something and fell down with the glass which wasn't mounted properly).
Today I went to the grocery store, bought only two bottles of wine for evening and suddenly met a girl who works in a cafe. She remembered me, said hello and asked if I still in a drinking bout. Bitch.
I tried to argue, said that I usually drink only if there USB a reason. This bitch answered that every time she works and meets me as a customer, she sees me drunk.
Fuck it! I was sure it's not noticeable!
Tried to make up with dad a couple of days ago, returned home. While he was sleeping at night, bought and drank a bottle of whiskey in my room. Shit, I passed out after that. At the morning he found me sleeping in my bad with an empty bottle, began insulting me and we argued even worse. So tired of people treating me like a shit
It must have felt terribly lonely going through all that. I would just treat the girl as a social interaction, no more. Even tell yourself that she's concerned in some way. And if she has nastier intentions then don't do what I do and disappear and start a new life.
Do you have anyone else you talk to?
Wish i'd never got a help.@Severnayasemiramida people don't get that some people actually need help, and that involves being positive. This world has forgotten how to care without being paid
If he faked who he is to that extent I'd get out of the situation, get away from him. His controlling is likely to get worse, and could become violent. It's not uncommonWish i'd never got a help.
Got acquainted with the guy in the internet, when he was facing the same shit I do. He was worse then me, tried to ctb because of his ex. We used to drink and have drunk conversations every evening till the moment he said he loves me.
Now he doesn't drink for a month, got a new job, made up with parents and friends. He has even called a ER for me. In a week we should finally meet each other in real life (we live in different countries). However, he had dramatically changed. We're always arguing, he wants me to stop drinking, solve all the problems and even find a job(!). If I begin selling burgers in McDonald's I will jump from the roof at my first fucking day at the work. His speeches remind me of motivational commercials, not a real human opinion.
If he faked who he is to that extent I'd get out of the situation, get away from him. His controlling is likely to get worse, and could become violent. It's not uncommon