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puffyclouds

Member
Feb 15, 2024
40
The world is so beautiful. My cat is breathing softly next to me. Is she trying to stop me from catching the bus? She's sleeping on my blankets, like she knows what they're going to be used for. I wish this wasn't the end. In another life, I'll meet you all, and I'll invite everyone over for tea. We can bake together.
 
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puffyclouds

Member
Feb 15, 2024
40
I'm going to send him that letter, now. Can you guys please encourage me?
I just sent him that letter. I don't think I'll ever get an answer. But I sent it.
 
Last edited:
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heliophobic

heliophobic

Memento Mori
Jan 29, 2024
51
The world is so beautiful. My cat is breathing softly next to me. Is she trying to stop me from catching the bus? She's sleeping on my blankets, like she knows what they're going to be used for. I wish this wasn't the end. In another life, I'll meet you all, and I'll invite everyone over for tea. We can bake together.
What if she *is* trying to tell you that?
 
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kawaiiphantom

kawaiiphantom

I gently open the door
Feb 1, 2024
303
i really want to cry right now. I love you. I will never forget you. I hope it's painless, im so happy to have been able to talk to you even if it was just for a bit. Goodbye Yūnus. You are such a beautiful soul
IMG 5801
 
pepe_felipe

pepe_felipe

Member
Jan 15, 2024
32
I'm going to send him that letter, now. Can you guys please encourage me?
I just sent him that letter. I don't think I'll ever get an answer. But I sent it.
i just want to say i found this about 20 minutes ago, my typical hours for perusing this site. I really commend you for you bravery, you've definitely been through a lot and I see no shame in all you've done up to this point. whatever happens in the next 20 minutes is completely rational imo, your cat will be taken care of and you've sent your final thoughts to those who deserve to hear from you. I really do wish you the best, know that you will be in our thoughts as well. your story hits close to home, so I especially wish you peace you deserve to rest easy man. i wish you had a better time here but at least you wouldn't have to worry about that soon enough. safe travels man, i truly hope you find what you're looking for.
 
kawaiiphantom

kawaiiphantom

I gently open the door
Feb 1, 2024
303
I'm right here with you you're not alone ♡ if you change your mind and don't do it, it's okay. I know it's very scary, but I'll be by your side no matter what
 
heliophobic

heliophobic

Memento Mori
Jan 29, 2024
51
You didn't. Please don't blame yourself. This is scary.
Because you're at the threshold of making the most important decision of your life. That power is terrifying. The reality of everything being over is TERRIFYING. 😞
 
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whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,581
It isn't too late. I understand you made your preparations. You definitely have friends here, I promise. Ha! I'm even crying while writing this! Cats are the best. They really want to bring us calm. I lost my soulcat Paddy in 2022, but his ghost is definitely still in my apartment and plays with my new cat. You can start over. Maybe that's what you need. You made at least two friends out of this. Two friends that know all about depression and wanting to die.
You are a wonderful human being, just so ultra wonderful.

Also, I pray and hope that she reconsiders at least for now and really think it through. I am 100% pro-choice, it is just the fact of 1and done in my book.

Walter
 
Guy_Smiley

Guy_Smiley

Just another lost soul
Jan 4, 2024
353
My heart is beating so fast right now and my eyes are tearing up (I haven't cried in years). I just want you to be at peace, Yūnus. I can only imagine how scared you must be right now :heart:
 
pepe_felipe

pepe_felipe

Member
Jan 15, 2024
32
ive never felt more invested for one's ending except for you man solely based on your story, i dont mean to deter what you feel is right to do. im glad you received some closure throught this thread, you bet your ass those who have wronged you will contemplate how they once acted. i hate to wish harm on such a pure soul, however your resolve is absolute and i am of the belief you are allowed to control your story.
 
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puffyclouds

Member
Feb 15, 2024
40
Because you're at the threshold of making the most important decision of your life. That power is terrifying. The reality of everything being over is TERRIFYING. 😞
My heart is beating so fast. I'm scared of the police coming pounding at the door.
I love you all. I feel so lucky. My cat is on my blankets. I'll miss everyone. I'm terrified. I don't want to die terrified. I wish he never left me. I wish things didn't end this way. The world is a beautiful place.
 
kawaiiphantom

kawaiiphantom

I gently open the door
Feb 1, 2024
303
I'm sorry it's just really hard. I love you deeply too. I'm still here Yūnus. I'm going to cry. If you need more time to think it through please take it. Is there a way to unsend the message to him? I'm so sorry you feel so scared right now. There's many people here for you, no matter what your decision ends up being, you're in control of your story 💜 im sending you so many hugs
 
heliophobic

heliophobic

Memento Mori
Jan 29, 2024
51
You are a wonderful human being, just so ultra wonderful.

Also, I pray and hope that she reconsiders at least for now and really think it through. I am 100% pro-choice, it is just the fact of 1and done in my book.

Walter
Thank you. Really. Thinking of someone young enough to be my daughter going out this way for this reason is seriously tearing me apart and I can't do anything about it. Everyone has their own unique experience in life, there are just so many things I can relate to and so many stories of survival I could share but can't. I'm pro-choice too, but young ctb breaks my heart. Ctb from heartbreak crushes me.
 
heliophobic

heliophobic

Memento Mori
Jan 29, 2024
51
My heart is beating so fast. I'm scared of the police coming pounding at the door.
I love you all. I feel so lucky. My cat is on my blankets. I'll miss everyone. I'm terrified. I don't want to die terrified. I wish he never left me. I wish things didn't end this way. The world is a beautiful place.
IT ISN'T MIDNIGHT YET. STAY.
 
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puffyclouds

Member
Feb 15, 2024
40
I'm sorry it's just really hard. I love you deeply too. I'm still here Yūnus. I'm going to cry. If you need more time to think it through please take it. Is there a way to unsend the message to him? I'm so sorry you feel so scared right now. There's many people here for you, no matter what your decision ends up being, you're in control of your story 💜 im sending you so many hugs
I deleted the messages. It's for the best. It was through discord. I'm shaking.

I feel a bit calmer now. I think I'm going to calm down a bit before I CTB. I wish he never left me.
 
kawaiiphantom

kawaiiphantom

I gently open the door
Feb 1, 2024
303
I deleted the messages. It's for the best. It was through discord. I'm shaking.

I feel a bit calmer now. I think I'm going to calm down a bit before I CTB. I wish he never left me.
I'll have this thread open to be here for you I promise ♡ maybe put on some nice music to calm down? I saw that you were listening to spirited away music before, maybe put on the soundtrack? ❤️ Also maybe cuddling with mocha will help?
 
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pepe_felipe

pepe_felipe

Member
Jan 15, 2024
32
from experience i can definitely understand as to how scary it is having a fully loaded fire arm within arms reach. im sorry the suffering has to continue
 
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puffyclouds

Member
Feb 15, 2024
40
Okay. I can't believe this is the end. I didn't expect to be so scared. I've been calm all day. But now the time has come, I'm gripped with fear.
My heart is beating so fast right now and my eyes are tearing up (I haven't cried in years). I just want you to be at peace, Yūnus. I can only imagine how scared you must be right now :heart:
I wish I could hug you. I wish I could hug everyone.
 
pepe_felipe

pepe_felipe

Member
Jan 15, 2024
32
it definitely takes a strong decision to ctb, the only solace i can imagine is that once the split second decision is made you no longer have to worry and you'd be freed. please accept my apology if this is out of turn.
 

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