Story My final words

[Malaria]

I've been lurking on this website for several months now, but when I read your post yesterday, it made me cry genuinely. I almost never cry because of forum posts, but the tears wouldn't stop coming out. I am a survivor of SA too, and there were so many aspects of your story that really hit close to home for me. I am so so sorry about what you went through, my heart really goes out to you. I hope you find peace, however that looks like to you.

 

[heisenberg]

i've never read a post that made me cry this much. you are such a beautiful person that was failed by so many people. i hope you woke up this morning with a little bit more hope than yesterday. regardless of what you choose to do, we are all thinking of you.

 

[heliophobic]

Just because. CAT BUS.

 

[Defenestration]

hello I stayed by private message yesterday with her until midnight to 4 a.m. (time in my country at night)... I didn't know this thread existed
I looked when I woke up this morning and saw it connected then in the afternoon then now... can someone summarize for me?

 

[Guy_Smiley]

hello I stayed by private message yesterday with her until midnight to 4 a.m. (time in my country at night)... I didn't know this thread existed
I looked when I woke up this morning and saw it connected then in the afternoon then now... can someone summarize for me?

I couldn't write a good summary because there is so much to her story, and I wouldn't know what to include and what to leave out. Perhaps English isn't your first language(?) and thus reading through her posts in the thread might take longer for you than a native English speaker, but I would encourage you to do so anyway. You stayed with her by PM for several hours last night (which was very kind of you), so you obviously care and I understand why you want to know more. But I think the best way for you to do that is to simply go through her posts and read her story in her own words.

 

[Defenestration]

I couldn't write a good summary because there is so much to her story, and I wouldn't know what to include and what to leave out. Perhaps English isn't your first language(?) and thus reading through her posts in the thread might take longer for you than a native English speaker, but I would encourage you to do so anyway. You stayed with her by PM for several hours last night (which was very kind of you), so you obviously care and I understand why you want to know more. But I think the best way for you to do that is to simply go through her posts and read her story in her own words.

I did it very emotionnal

 

[Linda]

puffyclouds has gone. She asked me to thank all of you on this thread for your concern and your support.

 

[Defenestration]

Puffy Clouds has gone. She asked me to thank all of you on this thread for your concern and your support.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

puffyclouds has gone. She asked me to thank all of you on this thread for your concern and your support.

May she be at peace now.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

puffyclouds has gone. She asked me to thank all of you on this thread for your concern and your support.

Huh??? Like gone off forum or ctb??

 

[ObssessedEirika]

I know I'm late to this and I know that you've probably gone through with your plan (which if you have, I hope it went as well as you hoped it would). I just wanna let you know if you're still there that I wish you find peace with your decision. If you still want to do something to pass the time if you're still here then I'd say (if you have the money or ability to do so) play persona 5 royal. It's a really good game if you're into games.

 

[letsgetittogo]

Her story moved me so so much. Goodbye threads are always really hard, but hers really stuck with me for some reason. She seemed like genuinely a very sweet individual, I admire how much she loved life and how much beauty she found in the world, until the very end :,)
I only knew about her since her first post a few days ago, but my heart still hurts a bit. I think a little bit of kindness and good left the world today. I hope she found peace, I hope she wasn't afraid. I hope she found her last thread here comforting.
Rest in peace, you deserved better, but I'm glad that you were able to go on your own terms.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I cant believe this. Im so sorry Yūnus. Why is this world so cruel. Im going to miss you so much. Fuck....

 

[Myforevercharlie]

She told me to post this


if you dont hear from me after three hours, please post this:

"Thank you, everyone. I couldn't bear to post this myself, because all you wonderful people would have swayed me again. Please don't blame yourselves. Thank you for making me so happy and cared for. I died surrounded by those that understood.

Today, I took a walk and appreciated the sun. My selfish and hypocritical final request is that you all love this world for my sake, and I dearly hope none of you chose this fate for your own selves. But if you do, I'll be on the other side, waiting for you, comforting you, so you won't be as scared as I was. It's scary, to pass this way. But this is what I've chosen. Just because I chose this, doesn't mean that all your words and kindness didn't matter. Every ounce of kindness matters in this unfair, yet beautiful world.

Goodbye, and goodnight. Nothing in this world is in vain. There is no such thing as a useless effort."

 

[selfeater]

There's no way. I find it hard to believe someone who had so confidence going into their plan and changed their mind at the end would regain confidence so quickly. Maybe she got a welfare check… There's no way she's gone… Please someone tell me it's not true…

 

[kawaiiphantom]

There's no way. I find it hard to believe someone who had so confidence going into their plan and changed their mind at the end would regain confidence so quickly. Maybe she got a welfare check… There's no way she's gone… Please someone tell me it's not true…

I feel the exact same way....i feel devastated. Im so sorry youre feeling this way too. I really hope it was welfare check
I know i should respect her decision and i really hope she found peace. She was such an amazing person. Its just really hard to see her go

 

[rozeske]

When I woke up this morning, I so was not expecting to see this news.

May she rest in ethernal peace 🕊

 

[Guy_Smiley]

I'm very sad that her life led her to this point and that she didn't find relief from her pain and suffering in ways that don't involve death, but if she really did go through with it, then I take solace in knowing that she's no longer suffering and will never have to ever again.

 

[BlockHammer]

Im sorry for what happened, i hope your decision will bring you a peace

 

[letsgetittogo]

I might've cried a few tears to the news. Selfishly i want it to be a welfare check. I am always pro choice and I am always going to respect her right to choose to end her life on her own terms

But I just know she deserved so much love and care. Her story has genuinely moved me so much. Fuck, this one was hard.

 

[Linda]

Huh??? Like gone off forum or ctb??

ctb

I know I'm late to this and I know that you've probably gone through with your plan (which if you have, I hope it went as well as you hoped it would). I just wanna let you know if you're still there that I wish you find peace with your decision. If you still want to do something to pass the time if you're still here then I'd say (if you have the money or ability to do so) play persona 5 royal. It's a really good game if you're into games.

That's thoughtful of you, but she won't be playing any more games.

There's no way. I find it hard to believe someone who had so confidence going into their plan and changed their mind at the end would regain confidence so quickly. Maybe she got a welfare check… There's no way she's gone… Please someone tell me it's not true…

I was with her for her last half hour last night (my time zone), and for many hours the night before, by phone. The first night she clearly intended to ctb, but was very nervous and ultimately wasn't able to. When her deadline for catching the bus had passed, and another 2 and a quarter hours had gone by I told her "I don't think you're ready to catch the bus". I suppose you could say I talked her out of it. She put the gun down immediately, and went to bed soon after. She phoned me last night and asked me to be with her again, and this time I could tell, from the tone of her voice, that she would do it. I talked to her, and tried to make her last moments on earth as pleasant and peaceful as I could. I heard the gunshot. Then there was nothing.

She has made arrangements for Mocha. Mocha will be OK.

She was a lovely girl, and I got to know her a bit over those two nights. She told me a lot about herself. I won't reveal any of her personal information except to point out that her real name, Yūnus (which has already been mentioned on this thread or I wouldn't mention it now), means "a dove" in the language of the country she came from (which is not the country she moved to some years ago). It's a beautiful name.

I'm torn to pieces emotionally. That will pass, but I will never be quite the same person I was. I will always remember her.

 

[letsgetittogo]

ctb

That's thoughtful of you, but she won't be playing any more games.

I was with her for her last half hour last night (my time zone), and for many hours the night before, by phone. The first night she clearly intended to ctb, but was very nervous and ultimately wasn't able to. When her deadline for catching the bus had passed, and another 2 and a quarter hours had gone by I told her "I don't think you're ready to catch the bus". I suppose you could say I talked her out of it. She put the gun down immediately, and went to bed soon after. She phoned me last night and asked me to be with her again, and this time I could tell, from the tone of her voice, that she would do it. I talked to her, and tried to make her last moments on earth as pleasant and peaceful as I could. I heard the gunshot. Then there was nothing,

She has made arrangements for Mocha. Mocha will be OK.

She was a lovely girl, and I got to know her a bit over those two nights. She told me a lot about herself. I won't reveal any of her personal information except to point out that her real name, Yūnus (which has already been mentioned on this thread or I wouldn't mention it now), means "a dove" in the language of the country she came from (which is not the country she moved to some years ago). It's a beautiful name.

I'm torn to pieces emotionally. That will pass, but I will never be quite the same person I was. I will always remember her.

Fuck this is heartbreaking. I'm crying again.

 

[Linda]

Good-night; ensured release,
Imperishable peace,
Have these for yours,
While sea abides, and land,
And earth's foundations stand,
And heaven endures.

When earth's foundations flee,
Nor sky nor land nor sea
At all is found,
Content you, let them burn:
It is not your concern;
Sleep on, sleep sound.

 

[CoffeeN]

I think I am late here I left reading after she didn't attempted it for first time, re read it ,I hope she got whatever she wanted and also best wishes for her pet cat.i hope she helps me in cheating on my exams ,amen.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

ctb

That's thoughtful of you, but she won't be playing any more games.

I was with her for her last half hour last night (my time zone), and for many hours the night before, by phone. The first night she clearly intended to ctb, but was very nervous and ultimately wasn't able to. When her deadline for catching the bus had passed, and another 2 and a quarter hours had gone by I told her "I don't think you're ready to catch the bus". I suppose you could say I talked her out of it. She put the gun down immediately, and went to bed soon after. She phoned me last night and asked me to be with her again, and this time I could tell, from the tone of her voice, that she would do it. I talked to her, and tried to make her last moments on earth as pleasant and peaceful as I could. I heard the gunshot. Then there was nothing.

She has made arrangements for Mocha. Mocha will be OK.

She was a lovely girl, and I got to know her a bit over those two nights. She told me a lot about herself. I won't reveal any of her personal information except to point out that her real name, Yūnus (which has already been mentioned on this thread or I wouldn't mention it now), means "a dove" in the language of the country she came from (which is not the country she moved to some years ago). It's a beautiful name.

I'm torn to pieces emotionally. That will pass, but I will never be quite the same person I was. I will always remember her.

Thank you so much for being there for her in her final moments, thank you from the bottom of my heart for looking after her and making sure her last moments were peaceful. It's honestly been tearing me up inside since you brought the news, I only just now got the strength to look back at this thread. I won't quite be the same person as before either. I've been trying to distract myself as much as possible, and even though I know she ultimately got the ending she wanted and went out on her own terms it's extremely heartbreaking. Selfishly I was hoping we could be friends and that she wouldn't ctb, and that we could actually have a movie night someday.

You're an amazing person Linda and thank you for sharing this with us as it brings a little bit of closure, and thank you for being there for her for hours despite it possibly sacrificing some of your mental health, it means so much. I will always remember her too, she had such a beautiful and caring soul. I hope I can join her soon. I usually don't reply to goodbye threads but I couldn't help myself this time. I don't know how to move past this. I feel so heartbroken, even though I didn't know her for very long, she was the kind of person that is very easy to love. I hope you have found peace wherever you are Yūnus, I hope you know people loved you and you will stay in the memory of so many people. Despite everyone turning against you in your life, I'm glad we could at least be here for you in your final days

 

[Malaria]

RIP Yūnus, I'm so sorry for everything you went through, you didn't deserve this, you were valid and deserved so much better. I don't believe in God or afterlife, but if such things do exist, you deserve to be in heaven.

 

[itsover090]

May the clouds be in a better place and at peace, without suffering!

I so wanted someone to talk to me while I CTB just like @Linda did with the fluffy clouds, I went through so much child/adolescent abuse alone, cancer for 3 years, all practically without support, I didn't want to go alone either, but I don't talk English, sorry to vent this in this post :(

 

[heisenberg]

this one hurt. im glad she was able to spend her final moments talking on the phone with someone who could give her peace, Linda. she was such a beautiful person. i hope she found all the peace she wanted and more. i hope she was able to run to mocha in spirit and give her a hug. rest in peace, Yunūs.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

I've never read a thread before that so thoroughly destroyed me emotionally. I've never cried this hard for someone I've never known. She seemed like a warm and kind person surrounded by and wronged so much by cruelty, but even in her final moments--saw a beauty amongst the muddiness in life. The cruelty in the world can't hurt her anymore and she is hopefully at peace and remembered with all the kind things said in this thread.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i read the entire thread. still can't believe it happened. ok so the guy wants to break up. that's something that happens all the time. why did he just start spreading all those lies? just so completely unnecessary! i feel so bad for her. she was brave as hell though.