In what year you truly died inside?

[wait.what]

I started having problems around the time I started school, in September of 1977. The event that finally wrecked me was April 20, 1981, when I learned a neighborhood boy in my grade had been hit by a car and killed over the weekend. I didn't witness it, but a friend's brother did, and I got way too graphic a description of the scene from my friend. I heard about it on the bus on the way to school, and by midday I was already descending into my first real clinical depression. I've been mentally ill pretty much ever since.

Obviously, I had more going against me before and since the neighbor boy died, but it's sort of interesting I can name the exact day. It'll be 40 years ago this April. I should celebrate. I could have a depressiversary party, and invite no one.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've been suicidal since 2000 but I think I truly died inside in 2018!

Update:

I actually died (mentally) this year but was "revived" recently.

 

[life-eternal]

2009

 

[bleakhouse]

2021. My ex/'platonic life partner' who I was codependent on, is finally moving on to the next chapter of his life. I have no one else in the world whatsoever. With that, I felt my soul die.

2020 - when I sustained my nerve injury which has already cost me so much.

 

[Yiyo123]

For me it was 2017... don't remember exactly the date. But, I was always bullied ... I think in the workplace is called mobbing. I was constantly harrased by my manager and then supervisor when she was demoted. She always treated me like a fool, a liar and dishonest person. Mu cowekers no were a nice either. I was overworked. A lot of people called me names in front of customer and co-workers. This continued for years. I filed multiple complaints and nothing. it really mess me up. I'm autistic and rhis was very hard dor me and my family (wife and
stepdaughters). I was never the same after my 1st attemp. I've been suicidal for years. My major depression. high anxiety, pychosis and paranoia really take a toll on me. I finally resign in 8/2019 for
medical reasons. But i can't me wr forget even when i try. It's really hard to live when you lose all hope. I considered my life meaningless. So what's the purpose of living a hopeless and meaningless life: But i can't CTB right now. Have to take
care of a few thimgs 1st.

 

[Green Destiny]

2013 when I graduated Highschool.

 

[Adamsnolife]

2011 when I was 23. Things went badly wrong from there

 

[lost_soul83]

For me, things had been bad for a while, but when my brother died on October 7th, 2018, that was it for me. I joined this site and started seriously planning my ctb.

 

[Trisolaris]

2020

 

[inthemoonblue]

End of 2017

 

[FriendofDeath]

2013 with the loss of my young son. Was in shock the first few years. Now I am numb.

 

[Chronicillness]

2011

 

[Yerina]

For me was 2010. when i had to move to another town and change schools and buddies. From then i changed somewhat mentaly because i couldnt open up to any new kid or truly befriend somebody, so in the new school i was the puzzle that couldnt fit. From then i began to overthink everything and eventualy fighting with my own self till today. Its stupid all is stupid.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Died between 2015 and 2019. A slow death.

 

[nurplexkid]

2006

 

[Shadowrider]

Living dead since 2003. Time stands still.
Received my death sentence in 2005. No clemency granted, still on the mental Death Row.

 

[HopelessCookie]

I'd say 2018 ish was the start of a gradual decline, after trying to deal with problem after problem. 2020 broke me and I got really depressed. 2021 aka last week was the last straw and whilst i'm here physically, mentally I don't feel part of this world anymore (such a strange feeling).

 

[fred farkle]

For me, things had been bad for a while, but when my brother died on October 7th, 2018, that was it for me. I joined this site and started seriously planning my ctb.

When my partner died Feb 10,2019.

 

[Natty]

2018, the day my i moved in with my wife

 

[fred farkle]

2013 with the loss of my young son. Was in shock the first few years. Now I am numb.

I am very sorry.

 

[raindrops]

ironically it was 2020. not because of the virus.
if i truly think about it though, it was probably 2008 when my mother passed, but things sort of got easier until 2020.

ah man if i had the courage or simple way out, i'd be gone.

2018, the day my i moved in with my wife

not my business i know. you just made me curious.
i think i might of been "that wife" and thats the reason i feel shit.