In what year you truly died inside?

[WornOutLife]

I've been suicidal since 2000 but I think I truly died inside in 2018!

 

[Sprite_Geist]

2009-mid 2010 was when the thoughts of unhappiness grew really strong; 2011 was the year that those thoughts killed me, and I truly died on the inside. At that point (and year) in time was when I had finally had enough, and the decision to commit suicide - some day - was set in stone.

 

[Maperer]

Felt first suicidal thoughts around 2015, but didnt start to to actively think about or plan anything it until 2019. Although I wrote a letter in 2018 which was basically a suicide note

 

[FatalSystemError591]

It is hard to pinpoint because a lot of my soul broke off in chunks at a time. June of this year was the most recent and final break.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

I actually lost everything last year. Spent my Christmas in the hospital losing my shit in 2019.

 

[Passersby]

2015.
The reality is now that there is NO more hope for me.

 

[kolski]

2010. The year everything went to shit.

 

[Weary Soul]

Most every year, but the one that jumps out at me is 1983 as the worst. I feel like I am dust crushed under the weight of life.

 

[Spitfire]

I think it might be tonight and starting tomorrow, so 2021

 

[Amumu]

Fell in love in 2017, and I haven't seen her since 2019
We weren't in a relationship anyway

Depressed since I was born though

 

[PDAnnie2610]

1997 - when I was 9.

 

[Élégie]

2008 (I was 16).

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

2005, I was 5 or 6 years old and realized I was fucked up from a traumatic event that I couldn't recall.

 

[Sherri]

2015...

 

[Symbiote]

In 2019, I never felt the same ever since my suicide attempt. I think I emotionally built a wall around me and closed myself off to my abuser while I hatched a plan to either attempt again or live alone by myself while enjoying what little I had in life.

 

[gtrfvr]

2020 though i bought a gun to blow my brains out a few years earlier. Half suspect the guy behind the counter knew too. Cant wait to exit.

 

[ARW3N]

I've had very realistic recurrent nightmares of being hanged as a heretic in the medieval ages.
I've had very realistic recurrent nightmares of being hanged as a heretic in the medieval ages.

 

[hoffnungstod]

in 2017 when my depression started (and a lot of other shit)

 

[262653]

To me it was 2003 but I feel like I was reborn about three years ago, and gradually gaining "something" that I would describe as a key characteristic of being alive. Not in a sense of a life worth experiencing, but a life of understanding, of having an idea about how the environment functions, and what do I want from life.

Is there a point in sending this message? There are so many of us. I'd assume that each additional message reduces the significance of all posted messages. It's like that thing in economy, about profit as a function of production costs, of items produced, competition, demand, and all that. I think that eventually it comes to a point where making a post doesn't bring any "profits" to the poster anymore....

Which reminds me of League of Legends. Is there a point playing it when the system decides that everyone should be held approximately at 1:1 win/loss rate? Is there a point to strive for victory? I don't see the point if losses bring just as much frustration as victories bring satisfaction or contentment. But not everyone is playing for the victory, and just as well not every post was made with the intention to win something in limited supply, something that we are competing for. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself. Whatever, here it comes.

 

[DPRSD]

2015 or so was when I truly felt like i died on the inside. Lost complete interest of anything and everything. But my life was already shitty when my anxiety and depression kicked in back in 2006.

 

[heraclitus]

1974, the year my Father died - although I never really ever felt alive. I have enjoyed perhaps 1 or 2 years of my life at most. For the rest I have worn a game face and dreamed of the sweet peace and release of death.

 

[Aloken]

I've been mildly mildly suicidal since about 2016-2017, but in 2020 it became increasingly serious. 2020 was the year I died inside. I hope 2021 is the year I'll make it official.

 

[Lupgevif]

By the last month of 2015.

 

[ready 2 go]

2016

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

First crack in 2005. Second crack in 2011. Third crack in 2014. I officially became numb to everything in 2016.

it wasnt until 2017 that I would become truly suicidal, but I've never really been able to recover since then.

 

[booray]

2015 was the pivotal year for me, but I didn't realize it at the time. That was when I officially became a drug addict, but I was too blind to see what I was doing to myself. I finally stopped using in 2019, but by then the catastrophic damage had already been done. There will be no full recovery for me because I cannot radically accept the diminished life that I've made for myself.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I died in March 1990 when l lost my first love and soulmate! Now l just drift through this timeline as a living ghost until my dog die's then l can do what needs to be done and join my 2 Staffie's over Rainbow Bridge and finally be happy!!!

 

[ERASED]

In what year you died spiritually? for me its was in 2014 when my grandfather and cousin died i was never the same after that

When i was born.

 

[Hurt]

I can't say a year but it was progressive. As days passed I started to fall deeper and deeper. And now I'm in the lowest point. I only think in ctb.

 

[lobster salad]

everything from my perspective started declining since about 2012. my soul pretty much died in 2020.

What would you relive?

the years before I was born.