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DiscussionIf you had unlimited access to anything, what would be your dream CTB method ?
Thread starterVoidGirl
Start date
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First of all I'd like to spend a few days in nature, appreciating the beauty that mother nature provides us with unconditionally. So that means finding a beautiful part of my country (which isn't hard). Then once I've had my fill, I'd like to take N and just drift off into nothingness. That seems like a lovely way to pass.
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BeansOfRequirement, lost_soul83 and Bazzinga
Two things springs to mind with this question, a relatively 'realistic' option and a ridiculous way which honestly sounds up my alley.
'Realistic' I'd probably say on a nice beach at night. Light one last campfire to watch for a bit, enjoy my last night. Then probably sn or exit bag method and just relax.
Ridiculous, I'd have the euthanasia roller-coaster idea built irl. Don't know if you guys know it but it's a series of loops that gradually get smaller and kill you via the g forces. Have some speakers or something blasting heavy metal and off I go.
First I'd get really high off of nitrous oxide (same kind I used to receive at my pediatric dentist's office) and then I'd take N from A. I'd have unlimited bottles of N so I could practice beforehand and habituate myself to the unique feeling of 'going under' from the drug before actually utilizing it to die.
I really love how large doses of ketamine putting me in a k-hole feel. I think whatever method I would want to be on some very strong psychedelics with someone i trusted and felt extremely safe with there holding me and whatever drug would do the deed while i was in that state.
Gunshot. If i could have anything i wanted i'd have a gun and perfect aim.
........
Guns are so hard to obtain here.... my neighbour down the street has some, legal, and i keep wanting to ask if i can borrow one for a night or two. Give some dumb excuse like i need protection- one of my abusive exes has been seen in this end of town or something.
Would he go for it? Who knows. It might be worth it to ask... or he might catch on too quickly. It's the thought of being caught out as suicidal that stops me from asking.
But once i had my gun i'd drive out-way out in the night to where i can see all the stars in the sky- and ctb in the darkness under their light. I love the starscape....
I would run a long plastic hose from the garage to my room. And connect a large nitrogen tank. And I'd hire someone to come by on a random night and turn it on while I'm sleeping. I wouldn't hear the sound of air coming from the tank so I wouldn't wake up. And if I knew it was gonna happen tonight I'd be all emotional and possibly back out. But if it was to happen at random I'd be more ok with it. Atleast that's my Current mindset towards it
I'd like to first travel the world and spend time out in various parts of nature. Mountains, desert, beach, all of it. Then I'd like to take some MDMA and possibly a psychedelic and whatever else makes one feel so good that it eliminates all fear, so I can jump from the tallest cliff one could possibly jump comfortably from and feel like I'm flying to my instant death on impact.
Or do the same, but just take some N and fall asleep in a cabin out in the wilderness instead.. or maybe while lying on the beach at night, looking at the stars with the waves brushing up against me.
Assisted euthanasia in Switzerland or something. The money could go towards travel expenses, food etc in the meantime and the "funeral" after, somewhere to bury me and stuff like that.
Explosives. The potent, far-reaching stuff. I could settle for the atomic bomb. I had one exploded in my dream, and that was one of the most peaceful, heartwarming dreams I've ever had.
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WhatDoesTheFoxSay?, Makko and BeansOfRequirement
If it was guaranteed to work I would go back to my original idea to use CO in a tent somewhere in the forest. Before that I would take a bunch of Xanax to be relaxed af.
I'd like to first travel the world and spend time out in various parts of nature. Mountains, desert, beach, all of it. Then I'd like to take some MDMA and possibly a psychedelic and whatever else makes one feel so good that it eliminates all fear, so I can jump from the tallest cliff one could possibly jump comfortably from and feel like I'm flying to my instant death on impact.
MDMA is Ecstasy. That's a social drug. It makes you crave human contact, both physical and emotional. You'll want hugs and conversations, and most fellow Ecstasy users will oblige. Taking it by yourself, even in the most beautiful landscape imaginable, will make you more depressed than before, which is not a good way to go. You want to use something that does NOT spike your oxytocin (a bonding hormone) levels. Supposedly, marijuana/THC is good in that regard, but I never tried it.
If I were to take Esctasy, I'd probably rush headstrong into the most crowded bar I can find, and dance with the first friendly lady I meet (I'm male, straight). That's what happened when me and my conservative friends took a road trip into the next state back in May 2020, although the only drug we used was alcohol. Of course, with the current pLandemic, I'd need to get out to conservative areas, if not across state lines, where people don't fall for the Covid fearmongering, and hope to find a bar there.
So on that note, my dream method would be this. I'm in the midst of a packed, crowded bar, dancing with some ladies (I don't care if it's platonic or sexy dancing). Then I take a short beer break, and get back to dancing. Music plays. Lights flash. Alcohol is sloshing around in my brain. I'm surrounded by friendly people. I feel as one with the room and everyone in it, like the Covid lockdowns don't exist. Then magically, everything fades to black. Next day, a funeral director gives a eulogy, saying I died instantly as a happy man.
MDMA is Ecstasy. That's a social drug. It makes you crave human contact, both physical and emotional. You'll want hugs and conversations, and most fellow Ecstasy users will oblige. Taking it by yourself, even in the most beautiful landscape imaginable, will make you more depressed than before, which is not a good way to go. You want to use something that does NOT spike your oxytocin (a bonding hormone) levels. Supposedly, marijuana/THC is good in that regard, but I never tried it.
If I were to take Esctasy, I'd probably rush headstrong into the most crowded bar I can find, and dance with the first friendly lady I meet (I'm male, straight). That's what happened when me and my conservative friends took a road trip into the next state back in May 2020, although the only drug we used was alcohol. Of course, with the current pLandemic, I'd need to get out to conservative areas, if not across state lines, where people don't fall for the Covid fearmongering, and hope to find a bar there.
I've done MDMA before. I'll know how I'll feel. I remember last time doing it thinking someone could put a gun to my head and I wouldn't even care. Also, I always thought partying and being social actually took away from the high, for me anyway. I preferred to just lie down and listen to music or half dance by myself. If there is someone there to touch me, that's awesome. If there is not, it's still awesome. I was left alone once for about two-ish hours and it was still heaven. I forgot they were even coming back.. Sure, taking it with someone or a group of friends is a great experience and in any other situation, I'd prefer a small group of friends, but it's not necessary.. for me anyway. I guess we're all different.
I've done MDMA before. I'll know how I'll feel. I remember last time doing it thinking someone could put a gun to my head and I wouldn't even care. Also, I always thought partying and being social actually took away from the high, for me anyway. I preferred to just lie down and listen to music or half dance by myself. If there is someone there to touch me, that's awesome. If there is not, it's still awesome. I was left alone once for about two-ish hours and it was still heaven. I forgot they were even coming back.. Sure, taking it with someone or a group of friends is a great experience and in any other situation, I'd prefer a small group of friends, but it's not necessary.. for me anyway. I guess we're all different.
I admit: I never tried MDMA first-hand, so I'm speaking from testimonials and observations. That being said, I did experience an MDMA-like effect from mixing Effexor, vodka, and Red Bull. I took my Effexor before going out, then ordered a Red Bull and vodka when I got to the bar. I danced with a woman in the group I came with. It was your usual partner dancing, nothing weird, but with the drug cocktail I took, I was on cloud nine. (That was in 2019, when crowded bars still existed.)
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