I haven't worked out in a while but my favourites included:
Any EDM songs hmmmmmm
Linkin park is a classic, great tune
Thanks for sharing, I want to check this out. I spend some time on the road for work and am often looking for things to listen to.
@ConfusedClouds is there a particulat episode you'd recomend given what's discussed on this thread for recovery? Either personally, or personlised?
It's a good thing that you were there! Where/how did you learn medical training?
Let's say I am not a health professional here but I have a massive student loan and used to work in a hospital
Currently working as a bartender, life is much more peaceful
When I tried snowboarding, I spent the entire day eating shit down the mountain and vowed never to return
Reassureres me wasn't just me falling. I will return again
Was supposed to go back today but then one of the boys in the group broke their leg and went to hosptial. and needs surgery .. how inconsiderate of him! (sarcasm)
And then saw the van crash in front of me
I swear my days are normally much less chaotic
I had a rough day today. I usually have a tough time on therapy days. I had been doing ok recently but redeveloped my plan, timing, rationale for ctb. I am travelling to visit family at the end of the month - my brother is getting married - and I will have an opportunity to see a lot of family at once if I want to say goodbye. I am hoping that some time off of work, a break from people and a change of scenery may shift things around in my head. I suppose it could make things worse, but I guess we'll see
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Wow this is a lot
Thank you for sharing.
Would you mind if I ask a few pointed questions of what's going on?
The snowboarding trip was about also seeing my friends and saying bye... but now I'm under public mental health service so.... idk, just yeah I get where you're coming from.
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impressed with the effect of voice therapy
am I just out of the loop?
what's voice therapy and what is it for ?
And this time it only took maybe 2 or 3 hours for the pain to completely subside whereas last week it was not only a lot worse, but lasted the whole next day
is it like physical therapy? I hope its working for you
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I can't get into your head, but it must be tiring. Like... You're supposed to feel something, and yet you can't just touch it. I feel for you, bro. But at least some part of you experienced something good. And, to think about it, it's a nice thing. Right?
yeah was talking to my friends about it
it's not got, just very muted/blunted and I want to make those emotions come back
By the way, it's day 54 of my self-imposed torture diet. Lost about 39,6 pounds (18 kilos) since day 1.
wow tha'ts a lot of weight to loose
Where you on the bigger side of things?
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It's indoor climbing. I prefer outdoor climbing
have you tried bouldering? or just climbing
my friends climb, popular these days isn't it
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100% you are trying. You've had a mad week with such HUGE steps you've made, speaking with your friends and them being so supportive and also gaining access to the mental health team you need. And them being genuine and not locking you up. Given our mental states, that relief could be enough of a headwreck in itself - things going 'well'!!! Take it easy on your self. You're doing awesome and it is so reassuring to hear that the chat in society of 'help is out there' could have glimmers of truth in the hope.
Thank you, you're very kind confused clouds
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I'd rather be a homeless junkie it'd be easier than trying to live in the REAL WORLD
I'm. not trying to minimise or detract from you sharing your inner world
made me chuckle a little
i remember walking down sydney cbd last year, and noticed this homeless dude just chilling out on a matress, minding his own business, peaceful
few days later, same track, i notice he has a girlfriend
I just had to have a moment and think, wow, this homelss junkie can find love and I can't, what does that mean about the life i live
*unmotivated, not lazy, maybe if I could suggest a substitute term
at least from my perspective, you don't sound lazy, and unmotivated might be a better fitting word
would you like some peer support resources I know of thst don't risk assess?
yes please share
That we feel like we have to lie… cuz if we tell the truth we will be cohered… I don't like this "I'm doing this for your own good" stuff. It's force people to live at all costs stuff. Quantity over quality. Sanctity of life over bodily autonomy. Ugh.
wdym we have to lie? curious what your perspective is here
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I hope to be able to respond more directly soon. I'm happy to see positive changes.
looking forward to read your replies soon
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It's a positive surprise that you could be open about your ctb plans without being locked up.
I think i'd be locked up if I started lying to them and they could tell
So far, so good haha
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Ooh, I found my polar opposite. I never cook for myself. Only for others. Of course I had to tone down my experiments with spices, but it felt like I was doing something meaningful.
If you ever feel like cooking for me, let me know, cheers
- feeling hungry
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Have you had to specify to them explicitly 'I want to get better and 100% fully recover' or more 'I'm stuck and confused and probably not in a good place' and they have taken the lead from there?
I haven't told them I want to get better. I told them I'm quite ambivlent, 50/50 about wanting to recovery and to kill myself
Explcitly, they have been emailed this most recently (doubling up I know)
"i dont think/feel there is a future worth living, and i dont think that will change in the future for hence why i want to order straps, order sn and make preperations to kill myself (along side participating in recovery)
i have not ordered anything
i think what stops me is i think if i kill myself this week my friends will be sad
but if i wait a few months or so they will be less sad"
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Have they taken the lead from there?
No it's not me taking the lead
Or them being paternalistically and them taking control
I am an adult
I am also not severely dysregulated (think crazy person going off in mcdonalds)
We co-created and agreed on a management plan
right now that agreement has been
0) Write up and follow my own "Safety" plan
1) daily check ins
2) increase my lihtium dose and weekly blood test monitoring
3) weekly/as needed follow up with the public pscyhiatrist
4) I don't order any SN/rope/straps
5) but if I do order them, I let them know within a reasonable time frame (I had to push for this one, cause they didn't want me to order any fullstop, and I said I might still order I'll just communicate it)
6) in an emrgency, I call 111
Not just be triggered into panic 'lock up' mode the moment you started detailing anything other than vague passive ideation.
Explicityl I talked about the procurment/practice phase and they intervened me there
e.g. don't pick up those straps, how do we beleive you
A lot of this is hinging on them beleiving my word but that's important to me to be honest
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Maybe its a scenario where our desensitisations actually ironically become a help towards seeking help because it has given you the awareness to 'approach with caution' and talk to them in their own language and setting your own boundaries for them. Keep going!
Thank you! That's actually a golden nugget of an insight
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I'm about to head into work but today has already felt less lonely and a lot lighter.
hopefully you can share your stores too if you feel comfortable
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Australian system equally helpful, or was that simply different due to the acute nature of it all
australia was helpful but my goal was to escape the psych ward not to neccisarily get better
just look better on the outside so i can return to regular life
god hospitals i sweat make us suicidal people feel more sick long term yuck
I'm British, so UPFs are not quite SO bad than across the pond, but there's definitely a notable decline in true simple healthy food options in favour of corporate processed 'perfect balanced' convenience foods.
wha'ts you recomendation for a balanced meal
oats for breakfast/baked beans/pasta
curious what your healthy diet is
harms from essentially spreading disinformation
if gues it's sharing their personal subjective experience (often disproprotialtiy negative) as the only experience you'll have on it
I actually really want to create a "how to take meds and not get locked up in a psch ward" resource post, maybe co-create it
to complement the how to do therapy resoruce, (sactually so helpful)
the first part being talking about therapeutic relationship e.g. having a good relactionship with your doctor/mental health team where oyu feel safe and can communicate and you trust them
and then maybe a meds section ? idk it's quite subjective and we ahve to be careful cause different countries, different tuens
let me know if your keen, or anyone else is keen to create this, just an idea
it hurts my heart a little bit seeing some of the vulnerable posts on the recovery about meds on here and disinformation that spreads
I'm trying to balance not being too autheorititive i am just some dude and this is the internet
but it does hurt seeing disinoformation here :/
