UsagiDrop
“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
- Apr 27, 2023
- 299
I can kind of get this, I think. People have actually told me that they perceive me to be exactly like this, but I don't really see myself this way so I don't really know. But I do know that seeing the blind spots others don't see is an alienating feeling, especially when you can't quite say what those things are within the groups you're supposed to be able to relate to. It makes it so that you feel disconnected even when you're at the center of something, like a ghost just watching other people relate to one another.Maybe I'm just confrontational at heart? Or try to nitpick, having high standards? There seems to be a blind spot in everyone I read.
I'm sorry for taking everything so literally hahaha. But I understand this now! If it helps at all, I don't really think those desires are cringe even as an open misandrist in recovery lol. You are only human after all. If I may take another thing literally, even the outcome that's "in the cards" can be changed with some work, and I was never of the belief that there's a definitive future. But since we're not being literal, then certainly, if you're going to settle into the hikki/monk lifestyle, these things really won't be for you. The focus should then be finding ways to go without, which will probably end up taking you down the philosophical or spiritual route anyway, honestly.By that I mean just being content with my hikkikomori style, I don't mean actual monastic orders, haha. I already knew that my strivings to handholding / headpats / sex (choose the more offensive option) were cringe, as it's clearly not "in the cards".
This is a really good way to think of it. But I think it's also worth asking if the "whining" really was fake, or if there may be a part of your nature that you haven't recognized yet.After all, it's all in my head. I can perceive it any way I'd like to.
I wish I was possessed by a cleaning bug. Sometimes I pray for mania so I can just get things done. I'm still going to be cleaning up today, sadly.
I would say that this probably isn't your place, too. It would probably be the place of a family member or closer friend to announce if she's really passed away.P.S. Today a Twitch streamer watcher has mentioned her name for the first time in passing (just in jest). Oh no, magic. I mean, I could tell someone in a month if she never comes back? Although even my autistic self is sure it could be highly impolite, to put it mildly.
Same, and this is also coming from someone who worked a healthcare/psych adjacent job. But you're right, that space can coexist with this one, and while it's frustrating and just plain annoying sometimes to see certain mindsets, I treat it like how I treat work. People are suffering and they want to be heard instead of challenged; this is a place that allows that and I would much rather us have this than nothing. I only worry about people who are easily influenced by this kind of thing. I think if I had found this place when I was younger and going through the worst period of my life (so far lol) in 2018 or 2019, I would have been a sasu doomer too. To normal people though I am already a doomer.i find a lot of the suicide discussion threads to be doomer-dense and its less actual discussion and more just circle jerking traumas and personal opinions against medical facts.
I am happy for this thread, too. I think the conversations that we've had here have been constructive and hopefully helpful!
@kawaiiphantom I just realized I usually try to ask people questions to get them in on the conversation and I forgot something that I wanted to ask you! I know you said you're suicidal, but I saw you hanging out in the recovery section a lot. Do you want to recover, or are you undecided on that?