I think having a majority male friend group has made my health worse.

[SpinandPainr]

So I say this knowing that it could be seen as controversial. But I do feel that having a majority male friend group has been a detriment to mental health. I'm a younger woman, I come from a male domain industry. There just aren't many women in my field to speak to. I can count on one hand the amount that I've met in the past five years. Now that established I feel like due to socialization on average the women I know are better listeners. They make me feel more understood or listened to, like my thoughts are valued. These aren't always the most productive conversations admittedly but they are a great source of emotional release for me. In contrast the men that I'm friends with tend to be much more focused on problem-solving. There's a general attitude of don't cry just get it done. Well I like to say that I cry and get it done. But last night I called someone I trusted and he said to suck it up and deal with it because that's what men do. And all I could think to myself because I've spent so much of my life providing empathy and love to men who were struggling, how dare you? I can't be honest with any of these guys about the fact that I'm thinking about kicking the bucket. Some of them I'm close to and it would scare them. I'm scared of being seen as attention seeking. He sent me information on FMLA earlier. I don't qualify for FMLA I've looked into all that. I don't qualify for anything I don't have short-term disability I don't qualify for SSI I don't qualify for anything. I make too much money for Ebt still despite making $24,000 a year. I live out of my car most of the time. They're great when I need to build or schedule something and bad with emotional support. I wish I had emotional support but maybe I'm unfair. IK therapists exist but I can't afford them.

 

[lionetta12]

So I say this knowing that it could be seen as controversial. But I do feel that having a majority male friend group has been a detriment to mental health. I'm a younger woman, I come from a male domain industry. There just aren't many women in my field to speak to. I can count on one hand the amount that I've met in the past five years. Now that established I feel like due to socialization on average the women I know are better listeners. They make me feel more understood or listened to, like my thoughts are valued. These aren't always the most productive conversations admittedly but they are a great source of emotional release for me. In contrast the men that I'm friends with tend to be much more focused on problem-solving. There's a general attitude of don't cry just get it done. Well I like to say that I cry and get it done. But last night I called someone I trusted and he said to suck it up and deal with it because that's what men do. And all I could think to myself because I've spent so much of my life providing empathy and love to men who were struggling, how dare you? I can't be honest with any of these guys about the fact that I'm thinking about kicking the bucket. Some of them I'm close to and it would scare them. I'm scared of being seen as attention seeking. He sent me information on FMLA earlier. I don't qualify for FMLA I've looked into all that. I don't qualify for anything I don't have short-term disability I don't qualify for SSI I don't qualify for anything. I make too much money for Ebt still despite making $24,000 a year. I live out of my car most of the time. They're great when I need to build or schedule something and bad with emotional support. I wish I had emotional support but maybe I'm unfair. IK therapists exist but I can't afford them.

I haven't had much experience with men telling me to just "suck it up", but I worked in tech and all my colleagues were mostly men and the main problem I ran into was how they tried to confine in me, which was fine by me until they then randomly hit on me when I was not interested in being with anyone that I work with since it goes against my values and beliefs. However, regarding your situation, a thing that is thought to be maybe the case regarding males is that they may be more sensitive/less resilient than women in some aspects. I don't know if I believe in that personally, it might just depend on the person's personality, their experiences, backround and them rather than the gender, but maybe the people you work with are a little less resilient than the women you knew regarding talking about emotional stuff and such? If someone shuts down a difficult topic or "minimize" it, they might feel vulnerable and more sensitive to it and overall uncomfortable.

 

[SpinandPainr]

I haven't had much experience with men telling me to just "suck it up", but I worked in tech and all my colleagues were mostly men and the main problem I ran into was how they tried to confine in me, which was fine by me until they then randomly hit on me when I was not interested in being with anyone that I work with since it goes against my values and beliefs. However, regarding your situation, a thing that is thought to be maybe the case regarding males is that they may be more sensitive/less resilient than women in some aspects. I don't know if I believe in that personally, it might just depend on the person's personality, their experiences, backround and them rather than the gender, but maybe the people you work with are a little less resilient than the women you knew regarding talking about emotional stuff and such? If someone shuts down a difficult topic or "minimize" it, they might feel vulnerable and more sensitive to it and overall uncomfortable.

That'a a fair perspective and one I had not thought of. There have definitely been times I didn't realize how I came off.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

From my own experience: people in general are either unable to listen to the issues of others because they are either struggling with their own problems, or they simply do not care. The apathetic men who I have met tended to brush off the pain of others while maintaining a less-than-emotional exterior; whereas the apathetic woman who I have met tended to push away a pained person with a much more visceral reaction - they were outwardly disgusted.