mylittlesponge
Grand cottonball supreme
- Aug 14, 2026
- 6
Since my "friend" turned out to be someone rather emotionally abusive and exploitative, they have come back 5 times to bother me and my friends, but especially me I think. I just kinda sat through it while my spouse would chew him out and tell him that if he didn't stop, they'd get him locked up just so I can get some peace. Someone was asking what happened to said friend, why he just "disappeared" from everything, and it's someone my friend group, including him, doesn't like. But I'm still friends with them because I just don't see the point in constantly fighting over how you're perceived and trying to constantly police how liked you are. This person was also a victim in a way, because they and their younger sibling were constantly being harassed and talked about by this "friend" even when nothing had happened. So I told them what happened to him, and explicitly stated: "Nobody knew about this except in the way that my spouse was suspicious and kept warning me to disengage. It's not anybody's fault but [Friend]'s. Nobody involved was on his side when he was catfishing." And they understood.
And yet, when I checked my phone in class today, the groupchat was talking about them. Complaining and asking "who told them?" They were all so angry because they all thought what happened would be used as "fodder" against them. And I couldn't tell if they knew I was the one who told that person or not. So I just didn't say anything.
But my spouse. They snapped at everyone. They knew that I'd told that person, and didn't see anything wrong with it, so seeing everyone gang up on the "hypothetical person that told [Person] about [Friend]" made them really angry. But I think my spouse snapping indirectly told everyone that it was me. And no matter how much my friends say they care, that anger made something shift in my gut. When I do something they don't like, but don't know it's me, they get so angry. And they can say "oh, I'm not mad at them for telling, I'm mad that [Person] can use this against us" but I know they're mad at me for telling the truth. I'm bound to be honest; it's a trait I cannot help, and I felt that person deserved to know what happened after being harassed for nearly 3 months straight.
The only person I've talked to since this happened is my spouse, of course. I just don't know how to face them again with all of the hypotheticals in the air. Even if it turns out they had no idea it was me, that they didn't "mean it" simply because it has my name attached to it, it still hurts. They were talking about me, acting like I did something horrible, but all I wanted to do was tell the truth. I don't like to lie, I don't like to stay silent on someone I know is terrible.
I'm not the one who emotionally abused and catfished my friends, so why am I catching the slack? Why is being transparent somehow worse than what he did?
And yet, when I checked my phone in class today, the groupchat was talking about them. Complaining and asking "who told them?" They were all so angry because they all thought what happened would be used as "fodder" against them. And I couldn't tell if they knew I was the one who told that person or not. So I just didn't say anything.
But my spouse. They snapped at everyone. They knew that I'd told that person, and didn't see anything wrong with it, so seeing everyone gang up on the "hypothetical person that told [Person] about [Friend]" made them really angry. But I think my spouse snapping indirectly told everyone that it was me. And no matter how much my friends say they care, that anger made something shift in my gut. When I do something they don't like, but don't know it's me, they get so angry. And they can say "oh, I'm not mad at them for telling, I'm mad that [Person] can use this against us" but I know they're mad at me for telling the truth. I'm bound to be honest; it's a trait I cannot help, and I felt that person deserved to know what happened after being harassed for nearly 3 months straight.
The only person I've talked to since this happened is my spouse, of course. I just don't know how to face them again with all of the hypotheticals in the air. Even if it turns out they had no idea it was me, that they didn't "mean it" simply because it has my name attached to it, it still hurts. They were talking about me, acting like I did something horrible, but all I wanted to do was tell the truth. I don't like to lie, I don't like to stay silent on someone I know is terrible.
I'm not the one who emotionally abused and catfished my friends, so why am I catching the slack? Why is being transparent somehow worse than what he did?
