mylittlesponge
Grand cottonball supreme
- Aug 14, 2026
- 3
For the most part, my friends have been my biggest point of support when it comes to recovering, getting away from my cutting addiction, just "distracting" me from the thoughts. I will always appreciate them for that. But there's been one friend that has been consistently a problem no matter how much he continues to support me. He is constantly getting himself wrapped up in drama [stuff that has been going on for months and he is the only one dragging it out anymore], triggering me with his own decisions, and getting himself hurt pretty frequently. I'm considered an extremely empathetic person for the most part, and people consider me to be really good at comforting others - but it's getting to the point where I just can't anymore.
I got into a fight with my spouse over this friend. The first fight I have ever had with them. They are usually very patient, especially with me, and have a preference to disconnect and resolve things later if they sense current conflict. But they yelled at me. Got actually angry with me. I was shocked and scared, but the latter is mostly just because I'm deeply insecure and afraid of losing them over a pin drop.
I told them I was just doing the right thing as a friend. They scoffed at me and said "You're being used. Your friend is certainly not mine, no matter how often we talk. I refuse to talk to people who are blatantly fucking lying about having a boyfriend, about having a crazy ex girlfriend, probably about so much. [Friend's boyfriend] doesn't even exist, and I warned you that it was just [Friend] on a different account. That's why you only know him through Discord, when [Friend] isn't online, and when something bad has supposedly happened to [Friend]. I warned you, and you didn't listen."
It felt like something tore through my chest. I love my spouse, I always will. But they did warn me. I was gullible. They dealt with it until they got frustrated with me. They're not in the wrong here, so don't try and defend me. I went back, and their points were.. abundantly justified.
My friend is never online at the same time as his "boyfriend." His "boyfriend" doesn't even seem to exist outside of Discord. One time, he even slipped up and sent a message as the boyfriend on his main account. His "ex" only pops up on a stupid Myspace revival to talk about how bad he is at his job, why "she" cheated on him, calling him out for "kicking her out," etc etc. "She" only comes back to fuel drama, which my friend largely takes a part in. It's attention seeking, and while I'll always consider that as a sign someone needs help, I just can't be the one to entertain him anymore.
Now that I'm actually putting thought into it, my spouse is probably right. It's all-around fishy, and I feel pathetic for choosing to defend him rather than believe the one person in my life who doesn't just say stuff like that for no reason. I want to apologize, but I'm still nervous. They always need space after a fight, so I'm willing to give them that. I want to confront my friend about all of this, but I'm still so terrified of conflict. I'm not sure what to do, but regardless, the desire to start cutting myself is really strong right now. I'm not giving in to it, I have a lot of things I can distract myself with, but I just needed a place to air this out since I can't do it anywhere else. I wish I wasn't so hopeful and trustful of people.
Edit not even 12 hours later: Yeah, literally everything was a lie. I feel like I've been abused in a way but my spouse is very good at making fun of him in a way that made me laugh through the tears.
I got into a fight with my spouse over this friend. The first fight I have ever had with them. They are usually very patient, especially with me, and have a preference to disconnect and resolve things later if they sense current conflict. But they yelled at me. Got actually angry with me. I was shocked and scared, but the latter is mostly just because I'm deeply insecure and afraid of losing them over a pin drop.
I told them I was just doing the right thing as a friend. They scoffed at me and said "You're being used. Your friend is certainly not mine, no matter how often we talk. I refuse to talk to people who are blatantly fucking lying about having a boyfriend, about having a crazy ex girlfriend, probably about so much. [Friend's boyfriend] doesn't even exist, and I warned you that it was just [Friend] on a different account. That's why you only know him through Discord, when [Friend] isn't online, and when something bad has supposedly happened to [Friend]. I warned you, and you didn't listen."
It felt like something tore through my chest. I love my spouse, I always will. But they did warn me. I was gullible. They dealt with it until they got frustrated with me. They're not in the wrong here, so don't try and defend me. I went back, and their points were.. abundantly justified.
My friend is never online at the same time as his "boyfriend." His "boyfriend" doesn't even seem to exist outside of Discord. One time, he even slipped up and sent a message as the boyfriend on his main account. His "ex" only pops up on a stupid Myspace revival to talk about how bad he is at his job, why "she" cheated on him, calling him out for "kicking her out," etc etc. "She" only comes back to fuel drama, which my friend largely takes a part in. It's attention seeking, and while I'll always consider that as a sign someone needs help, I just can't be the one to entertain him anymore.
Now that I'm actually putting thought into it, my spouse is probably right. It's all-around fishy, and I feel pathetic for choosing to defend him rather than believe the one person in my life who doesn't just say stuff like that for no reason. I want to apologize, but I'm still nervous. They always need space after a fight, so I'm willing to give them that. I want to confront my friend about all of this, but I'm still so terrified of conflict. I'm not sure what to do, but regardless, the desire to start cutting myself is really strong right now. I'm not giving in to it, I have a lot of things I can distract myself with, but I just needed a place to air this out since I can't do it anywhere else. I wish I wasn't so hopeful and trustful of people.
Edit not even 12 hours later: Yeah, literally everything was a lie. I feel like I've been abused in a way but my spouse is very good at making fun of him in a way that made me laugh through the tears.
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