Venting I miss my friends

[ioannes_zera]

I really miss two of my ex-friends. And I can't seem to get over them. I tried reaching out, but they didn't answer. One simply ignored me, and the other blocked me. I feel broken. I really loved them both. I tried to contact them just for some closure, but it seems like they don't even want that for me. It made me even more suicidal. The thing is, they've also treated me poorly when we were still in contact, doing things like laughing at me when I broke my arm, ignoring me, calling me names. I told them I was suicidal and they did not care ( my family also knows but doesn't do anything / pretend i'm fine even though I too told them I was suicidal). I still like them because, I think, that's what I grew up thinking what love is. My dad wasn't present, and mom would spend her entire day working... then come home stressed and take it out on me. Only uncle and grandma were present 24/7, but they were constantly fighting, so I grew up in an environment with constant drama and psychological violence, so that's probably why I still want to talk to such toxic people. I feel abandoned. Right now, I'm trying to make new friends, but it's hard.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

I feel for you. I've always had trouble making friends. My luck has been that my Dungeons and Dragons hobby has always been my gateway to new friends. But fear not, you can find new friends and new friend groups.

 

[DirtCommie]

I really miss two of my ex-friends. And I can't seem to get over them. I tried reaching out, but they didn't answer. One simply ignored me, and the other blocked me. I feel broken. I really loved them both. I tried to contact them just for some closure, but it seems like they don't even want that for me. It made me even more suicidal. The thing is, they've also treated me poorly when we were still in contact, doing things like laughing at me when I broke my arm, ignoring me, calling me names. I told them I was suicidal and they did not care ( my family also knows but doesn't do anything / pretend i'm fine even though I too told them I was suicidal). I still like them because, I think, that's what I grew up thinking what love is. My dad wasn't present, and mom would spend her entire day working... then come home stressed and take it out on me. Only uncle and grandma were present 24/7, but they were constantly fighting, so I grew up in an environment with constant drama and psychological violence, so that's probably why I still want to talk to such toxic people. I feel abandoned. Right now, I'm trying to make new friends, but it's hard.

Sorrry for your pain but I think Ill commennt on your situation

Making friends as an adult is crazy hard which is something Ive learned over the years.

Aye, If you think making friends as an adult is hard try making friends while working a typical 40 or 50 hour work week as an adult....I tried it....Impossible task. I wont attempt that ever again lol.

You should automatically assume that most adults are just as lonely or even lonelier than you. We live in a capitalistic and individialistic societies..Painful loneliness is an institutional norm.

Maybe there are some adult groups like hiking groups or board game groups or even discord groups where you live that you can find people who want to befriend you.