absolute shit, wondering what life could have been if i had a loving family
Exactly what I was gonna write!
There have been tons of deaths this month. In addition, one person who was like an adoptive father to me died recently. I took it really hard. And I had tons of things to do today that I was unable to do last week because of my health.
I woke up at 11am to do shit, and guess who's the only one who hasn't died this month? My dirt old father! Who of course, the second he saw me this morning, got really violent and started screaming and the whole day was just him being violent and shouting. I didn't get anything done. And then my narcissistic mother made herself the victim, and half the evening was listening him curse me and half was him making fake sorries to mother in order to get pussy, before again starting to scream how I'm worse than atom bombs. And in the end my mother tried to use me as an emotional tampon.
I MOTHERFUCKING HATE HOW FATHER WILL ABUSE ME, MOTHER MAKES IT ALL ABOUT HERSELF, THEN FATHER APOLOGIZES TO HER JUST TO GET PUSSY, AND MOTHER IS LIKE "TEEHEE, IT'S OKAY, YOUR SEXY AND HANDSOME AND MAKE PUSSY WET! WHO CARES ABOUT MANAAJA! MANAAJA'S SAFETY! MANAAJA'S FEELINGS! WHETHER MANAAJA WILL GET PSTD FROM THIS! WHETHER MANAAJA'S WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND WORK SHITTIOTTEWKL+TWESO+JMTJ9+W"
I really wanted to do things. I'm still so furious I don't know how I can stand this.
My mind can't accept that so many have died this month but he lives. Others die of suicide, of accidents, of cancers, or acute illnesses. Yet that piece of shit has a fucking plot armor.
The more evil a boomer is, the longer and healthier he lives. It's all those nice boomers, and young people who are dying left and right. I hate it all. I want a real father.
I want a mother who'd never choose a man over me. And who doesn't talk or do much unless asked. The kind who could never hurt me in any way. Who just calmly loves me and supports me. Who is extremely feminine and beautiful and graceful. Who is always calm and loving with me. She'd teach me beauty and give lots of hugs and kisses.
I want a father who defends me and teaches me cool things and makes me strong. Who guides me and is intelligent and wise, but also has a great sense of humor. Who is really cool. Who rarely loses his temper, but acts smug when annoyed. Who finds it hilarious when he's cursed and offended and starts laughing sexily. Father who is harsh to enemies, but loving with me. Who plays sports with me. And since the current one is a poor abusive lumberjack, I think I'm entitled to a great man, a Ruler of some sort.
I also want more siblings. Maybe three more. Cool, brave, funny ones.
emoji instead of 
on a serious post, oops. (Corrrcted it but notification may have sent, idk if u will see this message tho)
