how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[starlessnight]

I feel lost not knowing what I need or should or want to do. It's almost the end of the academic year and I haven't decided what I truly want to do when I should've done so already. Do I want to live or ctb?

 

[PlanB]

Crushed

 

[Saturn_]

Absolutely nothing.

 

[BlazingBob]

Very anxious, thinking about and terrified about my future to the point of being sick to my stomach, especially about looming homelessness

 

[lastexit717@proton.]

Im scared shitless, paralyzed , afraid

 

[lovedread]

I just want you to love me again this is so hard . It hurts so much knowing that you wont love me in flesh right now as a human, you wont love me in the future, you wont love me as a memory and you wont even love me a ghost. Sometimes i think about how i could kill myself and love you as a ghost…try to help you and put blessings in your path…but even then you would hate me.. all of me.

Even if pur souls saw each other in the after life you would feel nothing towarss me and i cannot explin how mich that hurts. Im sorry. U think im a ptwtheyic door mat and i am. Im fucking pathetic. Im sorry. I want you to love me

 

[PINKIESISU]

i feel empty and numb. i feel lost. i don't think i'm doing anything correctly, but i'm so drained at this point i don't really fucking care.

I want to be separated from this body I want this experience to be over so I can move on to what I actually give a shit about and to my real form away from this fucking human race it's an insult to look like them my spirit is nowhere near human this is what I'm thinking this is what I think all the time this is what I desire all the time I am around the clock suicidal it doesn't stop it hasn't for many many many many many years

 

[notevenhere]

Apathetic then hopeless, now scared

 

[terra.nuvo]

I recently got out of a ward and am feeling really weird. Sometimes I wonder what the point of me going to a ward is when I come back out just as suicidal as when I went in. This time was no different. All they did was give me some Zoloft and tell me about some coping skills and then sent me on my way. I feel like I'm at the point where I know every coping skill in the book yet nothing makes me feel better. If i'm being honest, I kind of lied every time they asked me if I was still suicidal. I didn't want them to feel like what they were doing wasn't working. Maybe I should've been more truthful. Maybe then I would've gotten the help I need. But I can't see how anything they would've done could've helped. I feel like I'm way to far gone for recovery at this point. I still don't know if recovery is for me but I guess for now this is the route I am going on. I just know I'm not ready to CTB just yet. I still have some things I wanna try out first. I really am gonna try to change my life around even though its hard to find energy and motivation to do so. I wonder how much longer I can go on living like this though. Who knows, maybe the zoloft will actually work and I'll be feeling all better soon but I doubt it. I've been like this for 2 years now and its gotten to the point where I don't know anything else. I feel like I've gotten too comfortable with depression in a way and that's what's making it so hard to get better.

 

[outrider567]

Depressed, numb, lonely--The worst is when I still have dreams about Patti, just awful

 

[AmberianDawn]

Alone, disappointed, and in physical pain right now

 

[Hotsackage]

Tcv

 

[shego1217]

Tired, ready to CTB, anxious (over getting all the stuff for my method), lonely, annoyed that weekend is over and tomorrow I'll have to act like I'm ok through yet another work week)

 

[b1cycle]

The thought of both living and dying is unbearable

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Horrible

 

[lostintheloop]

Scared. Lonely .

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I feel guilty for even existing. Everyone hates me and wants me dead

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Being yourself is a lie. It's to make socially disabled people like me feel like they have a place in this world, when in actuality they don't.

 

[ketamoeba]

i feel like im not known when i put in all the effort to know other people. christmas is just reinforcing this

 

[Tig]

Weak, depressed, defeated, dying slowly.
Keeping a smile on my face though, throughout the day and night, to honor my Wife's memory on this, her most special day, Christmas.
Burning a candle for you K.S.C.

 

[freakypossum]

Scared and empty

 

[Death is my goal]

exhausted , hungry, bored, sleepy

 

[fruitty]

Lost. Idk what i want, i work and im still broke. Running out of options

 

[needthebus]

pain, bloated, tired, sad, miserable, exhausted

 

[eroteme]

Terrified, in disbelief, pain.

 

[kishi]

Scared, lost, anxious.

 

[TheOneFreeDude]

I'm so fucking drunk, I'll visit some friends in some time and I have no clue on how I'll manage the alcoholism without looking like a crackhead in withdrawal. That's my biggest concern. I plan to CTB over there too, just hope my friends won't feel like they're guilty for it. No reason to stay alive, no prospects of a future, anything. I'm worried about my friends though. I love them really much.

 

[ladidabi]

Broken, lonely, empty

 

[bleepbloopbleep]

Weirdly calm. Like for the first time I'll have a good method at home and I'll finally not have the pressure of living anymore. Free to CTB whenever I want.

 

[tbh2023]

I feel sick